Motherhood - Letters Home

A shooting star turns eighteen

21/09/2026 emsia.kruger Comments 0 Comment

This week, our youngest son, Zander, is turning eighteen. A milestone that feels like a story I have been reading for years and suddenly realise is reaching a new chapter.

I drift back to a summer afternoon long ago. The sun lay warm across the garden, and from the swimming pool came the bright, bubbling laughter of my boys. Through the window, I watched Charl lift them onto his shoulders and launch them through the air in perfect arcs. I stood there, smiling, grateful for second chances in love and life.

And yet, in the middle of that happiness, a soft, almost whispered wish formed. Charl was such a good stepfather. May he one day also know the deep, anchoring joy of being a father. Years earlier, on a 4×4 weekend in the mountains, he had said something that now feels almost prophetic. Our boys were still toddlers, chasing dust and sunlight. “Your sons are so adorable,” he said. “If I could one day have boys as sweet as this, I’d love to be a dad.” Neither of us knew how true those words would become.

The little star we longed for

“Man proposes, but God disposes,” Dr Kruger said gently. “We can help you fall pregnant, but the outcome is not in our hands.” On the sonar screen, we watched the embryo being placed back into the womb, a tiny flicker of possibility. To me, it looked like a small shooting star, streaking across a dark sky. I prayed that this little star would bring us light, love, and joy. And God answered that prayer in ways I could never have imagined.

Eighteen years of becoming

Zander grew into a beautiful young man. He is thoughtful, curious, and full of dreams that stretch far beyond the horizon. Looking back at his initial eighteen years, I notice a trail marked by those who moulded him. Individuals God intentionally and gently positioned along his path.

There were the brothers, Jacques and Christo, who awaited his arrival with the excitement only children can hold. They wanted to teach him everything, including sports, technology, how to join in, and how to belong. He is no longer the younger brother who needs direction, but they still include him and convey in their own way: “I’ve got you.”

There were the grandparents, Ouma Martie and Ouma Lenie, who read him stories and brought him joy. And then there was Oupa Frikkie, who asked if he could be Zander’s grandfather. He stepped into that role with wholehearted love: Saturday playdates, birthday parties, small rituals that stitched him into Zander’s life. Even now, across the distance between South Africa and Europe, he remains present. It is a gift to be chosen repeatedly.

The hands that held him

I remember the first morning at Welgemoed Pre-Primary School. Zander stood small and uncertain, a little figure on the edge of a new world. My heart ached as I walked away. Then a blonde girl with violet‑blue eyes approached him, took his hand, and asked if he wanted to be her friend. Abby showed him, in one simple gesture, how easy belonging can be.

George was his neighbour, classmate, and partner in many mischievous adventures. I still think of the time they threw burning crackers into the toilet and blew off a piece of the bottom. One could say their friendship was sometimes… explosive. They baked, built, barbequed and learned together. They made each other’s worlds bigger without even realising it.

When we moved to Switzerland, I worried again. Would he adapt? Would he find his place? After his first day at school, I waited outside, full of questions. His first words were: “Hi Mom, is it okay if my friend and I go to the pool this afternoon?” No drama. No hesitation. There was already a friend and a plan. Nate became one of his most enduring friendships. One that distance and continents could not break.

Over the years, Zander’s world grew larger. Friends from different countries, cultures, and languages became part of his story. A colourful village of parents, teachers, neighbours, and families helped raise him.

And then there were his cousins, Altus and Marga. They are his South African connection, his reminder of home. Altus taught him about hunting, nature, and Afrikaans rap. They visited us in Switzerland. He shared his European world with them, and they shared their South African world with him. Through them, he learned that belonging could stretch across oceans.

A prayer for the road ahead

When your child turns eighteen, you realise the road ahead is suddenly much longer than the road behind. There are so many things one could wish for him — success, health, wisdom, opportunity, and a beautiful future.

But if I could pray for only one thing, it would be that Zander always has good people in his life. People who love him when he shines, but also when he is still figuring himself out. Individuals who enjoy his company in times of ease and stay loyal when difficulties appear. People who maintain his gentle heart, despite a world that often tries to toughen it. Friends with integrity, who speak the truth even when it is difficult. People who draw him closer to God and remind him of what truly matters. I also pray that he himself will be that kind of person for others.

I pray he dares to dream boldly and walk his own path, but never trade his character for success. May he be strong enough to stand on his own when needed, yet humble enough to ask for help, and that he will know when to hold his ground and when to change direction.

And when life moves faster than he expected, when decisions loom, and he feels unsure, I pray he will remember: God still holds him in His hand.

The light we never expected

Eighteen years ago, we didn’t know him. We didn’t know his face, his laugh, his dreams, or the kind of man he would become. We only knew that we longed for him. Then we saw him, only a tiny shooting star on a sonar screen. I prayed, “Lord, let this little star bring us light.”

Today I know God answered that prayer far beyond anything I could have asked. Zander brought light not only to us but also to his brothers, his grandparents, his friends, his teachers, his village, and everyone lucky enough to cross his path.

He was a shooting star then, and he still is.

Regards

Emsia

Parenting transforms with adult children

05/11/2025 emsia.kruger

Parenting is a significant privilege, but it also comes with substantial responsibility. The way we raise our children influences not only their lives but also the generations that follow. It requires continuous wisdom, balance, and deep love as our children transition into adulthood. Our roles evolve with them.

When the parenting role begins to change

When our children were young, our role was straightforward. We provided for them, cared for them, protected them, and loved them unconditionally. Even when we disagreed, it was clear that the final decision was ours.

As our children transition into adulthood, everything changes. The parent-child relationship changes over time. It shifts from one based on authority and dependence to one characterised by companionship and guidance. Each child navigates this transition in their own unique way, and as parents, we learn to approach each one with fresh perspectives and newfound respect.

I often pray for wisdom in my role as a mother. Frequently, I feel that God answers me through books, conversations, or insights that come in unexpected forms. I share reflections from this journey—areas where I am working, growing, and for which I am deeply grateful.

Learning to let go

We must love our children enough to let them go. Although it can be difficult, our role should become smaller so they can grow into confident, responsible adults. This shift moves us from a position of control to one of empowerment. It sends the message, “I believe in you.” As adult children, they take responsibility for their finances, relationships, personal growth, and life choices.

Our role becomes one of gentle encouragement without interference. We may still serve as mentors, but only when invited. The focus should be on affirmation rather than correction, concentrating on what is already positive and beautiful. Affirmation builds identity and confidence, while criticism can tear down.

Healthy boundaries that foster growth

Healthy boundaries are not about control; they are about respect. They provide safety and clarity for both parents and children. Without clear boundaries, roles can become confusing. Children may remain reliant, and parents can feel overwhelmed. Boundaries do not dictate, “I decide for you.” Instead, they convey, “I manage my involvement, but I trust you to make your own decisions and face the consequences.” By establishing these boundaries, we foster independence, character, and inner strength in our children.

Financial responsibility and maturity

A young man once asked an older, wiser businessman, “What does it take to become financially healthy and responsible?“

The older man smiled and replied, “Two words: good decisions.”

“But how do I learn to make good decisions?” the young man asked.

The older man answered, “One word: experience.”

The young man pressed further, “But how do I gain experience?”

The older man replied, “Two words: bad decisions.”

One of the most important aspects of true adulthood is financial stewardship. We do not teach our children by funding everything for them. We educate them by gradually transferring responsibility. Open conversations about money, clear boundaries around support, and the freedom to make a few mistakes all help cultivate wisdom. Our goal is not to prevent every crisis but to equip them to stand on their own.

The new season of friendship

When we find ourselves needed less by others, it can evoke a sense of loss, and that feeling is perfectly normal. However, this phase also presents an opportunity for our personal growth. We can spend time with friends, explore new hobbies, and seek out new experiences. Self-care is not selfish; it is essential for our well-being.

It’s still important to engage in activities with our children. The relationship evolves from one of authority to one of friendship. Sharing laughter, creating new memories, and exploring new places together help us maintain a close bond.

Their world looks different from ours

Each generation perceives the world in unique ways. Today’s young adults possess values and perspectives that are distinctly different from those of earlier generations. A vastly different context shapes our children’s desires for freedom, authenticity, meaning, and flexibility, while duty, security, stability, and loyalty shaped our generation.

Young adults today believe that identity is fluid and personal. They feel that everyone has the right to define themselves in terms of faith, career, sexuality, and culture. For them, work is merely a means to achieve a meaningful, balanced life. Consequently, a job title often holds little weight. They respect integrity, competence, and credibility, and they verify information through online sources.

Digital communication is considered completely legitimate. Young adults view platforms like WhatsApp, memes, and voice notes as normal and emotionally authentic. Our generation viewed in-person interactions and spoken conversations as the only proper ways to build relationships.

Today’s young adults perceive tolerance as an essential trait of a loving person. Many see it as unloving to express disapproval regarding the religion, sexuality, or lifestyle of another person.

Just as we once wished our parents could better understand our experiences, it is now our turn to do the same. This situation calls for more listening than speaking, more curiosity than judgment, and more interest than control.

My hope for this season

May our parenting in this new season be marked by gentle wisdom, inner peace and a love that releases rather than clings.

May our children always know that we no longer try to control their path. We walk alongside them as a safe home, wise companions, and grateful witnesses to God’s work in their lives.

With love and deep gratitude

Emsia

A mom’s perspective on love and marriage

17/09/2025 emsia.kruger

My two older sons are at an age where many of their friends are starting to get married. Looking back, I realise now that when I first got married, I was too young and didn’t yet have the life experience or knowledge I needed. At the time, our community considered living together before marriage unacceptable.

After going through the pain of divorce, I reflected deeply on love and marriage, reading extensively and studying the subject thoroughly. I am grateful for second chances in love and life. As a wife and mother, I often reflect on the key lessons I want to pass down to my sons.

Soulmates Are Made, Not Found

When I was young, I believed that there was a perfect person out there who would complete me. However, I’ve come to understand that the closeness of a soulmate is something that develops over time. Through sharing laughter, facing challenges, forgiving one another, and creating memories in daily life, you evolve from being life partners into true soulmates.

Why Marriage is Different

Marriage is more than just cohabitation or signing a legal contract. It encompasses a deep commitment. It intertwines love with a promise. The legal aspect provides a safe space where you can truly be yourself, while love allows for complete vulnerability.

To be fully known and still loved within a marriage reflects the unconditional love God has for us. This kind of love gives you the freedom to be your true, vulnerable self. It also teaches us to handle each other’s weaknesses and shortcomings with kindness and understanding. Sometimes, it calls us to prioritise our partner’s well-being and joy over our own needs.

What distinguishes marriage is the promise you make before God, your family, and your community. “I will love you, remain faithful, and walk with you through every season of life.” These commitments stabilise your relationship, give it purpose, and form a bond. This bond not only endures but also strengthens as you support each other’s hopes and dreams.

The Secret to Lasting Love

Love in marriage encompasses more than just passion; it involves various layers and aspects. The initial spark unites you, intimacy develops closeness, friendship establishes deep roots, and selfless love fosters continuous growth.

Happy couples build marriages on a strong foundation of friendship. They show respect, enjoy each other’s company, and express love in the little, everyday ways. When you genuinely value one another, you cultivate a positive spirit that helps your marriage remain strong through all of life’s seasons.

Habits and Rituals are the Glue of Marriage

It’s often the little things—not grand gestures—that hold a marriage together. Habits and rituals act like the quiet glue that keeps love strong. Simple daily practices, such as asking about each other’s day, sharing a meal without distractions, or saying “thank you,” may seem insignificant, but they create a rhythm of care and connection. Over time, these moments build deep trust, emotional safety, and stability.

Rituals add another layer of strength. They can be as simple as a bedtime routine, a weekly coffee date, or even those silly inside jokes that only the two of you share. These shared practices communicate, “We belong to each other.” They remind you both of the “us” at the heart of your marriage.

In these habits and rituals, love becomes more than just a feeling—it becomes something you live out every day. They keep you close, help you navigate life’s challenges, and fill your marriage with joy and meaning.

Men and Women often experience love differently

One of the most valuable things I’ve learned over the years is that men and women often experience and show love differently. Women often long for emotional closeness. We want to be heard and understood. Men, on the other hand, usually feel most loved when we respect and appreciate them for what they do.

At the heart of it, we’re all really longing for the same thing: to feel safe and valued. Our ways of showing it—hers often through words, his often through actions—can complement each other if we take the time to notice and honour them. When we do, our love grows deeper, stronger, and more lasting.

The Heart of True Intimacy

When I was younger, people rarely discussed intimacy in marriage. Newlyweds had to navigate it on their own. However, intimacy is a vital component of building a lasting relationship. The strength of your emotional connection greatly influences intimacy in all aspects of your marriage, and the sense of security you share directly impacts the closeness you both desire.

At times, intimacy can feel stagnant, as if you’re merely going through the motions. During these moments, one partner may feel ignored or emotionally distant. However, there are also instances when intimacy deepens significantly, providing comfort and reassurance. A simple touch, a hug, or a kind word can remind you that you are valued and cared for.

The most profound intimacy occurs when partners are in sync with each other. In this harmonious space, partners experience emotional openness, tender connection, and playful closeness. They can be vulnerable, share their desires, and feel free without fear of judgment. Touch and affection become their own love language, which fosters not only physical closeness but also joy, trust, and a deeper bond.

Shared Power and Decision-Making

A strong marriage is not about one person leading and the other following. It is about walking side by side as true partners. Both voices matter, whether the decision is big or small, and taking time to really listen keeps your connection strong.

Both partners feel valued, respected, and part of the same team when they share power. It brings balance to the relationship and nurtures trust, equality, and a deep sense of “us.” That spirit of togetherness is what helps a marriage not just last, but truly grow and flourish.

Conflict in Marriage

No two people are exactly alike, and differences in personality, priorities, or expectations naturally lead to disagreements. What truly matters is how you handle conflict, not whether it occurs. Every couple manages conflict differently. Some avoid arguments at all costs, and others argue frequently. However, some couples can calmly discuss their differences and find compromises without raising their voices. The key is to find an approach that works for both partners.

One challenge to be aware of is emotional flooding. When one or both partners become emotionally overwhelmed during an argument, flooding occurs. During these moments, the brain goes into “fight, flight, or freeze” mode, resulting in feelings of anger, fear, or frustration. A partner who experiences flooding may lash out, shut down, or struggle to think clearly, which makes effective communication nearly impossible. While flooding is a natural response, couples who recognise it should take a pause. Once they have calmed down, they can return to the conversation more calmly, communicate effectively, and resolve issues without damaging their relationship.

There is no single “right” way to handle conflict. The healthiest couples respect each other’s perspectives, maintain an emotional connection, and work together to solve problems rather than compete or withdraw. Learning to navigate conflict with care strengthens trust and keeps love at the centre of your marriage.

In Conclusion

Ultimately, marriage is not a perfect fairy tale, but a journey of two people who choose each day to build together, to learn together, and to love together. When that love is anchored in God’s example, it becomes not only sustainable but also a source of joy and strength for every season of life.

Kind regards

Emsia

Raising resilient and responsible adults

02/04/2025 emsia.kruger

Young children often enjoy answering questions about their age. My son Christo never responded with his current age. Instead, he would say, “I am busy turning 6 or 7.” My boys have always been eager to take charge of their lives. Now that my eldest two have reached the age where they can care for themselves, they reflect on how carefree childhood was. This reflection tells me that they are now confronting the responsibilities and challenges of adulthood.

As a mother, I now watch from a distance as each of my children navigates adulthood. Zander, now “busy turning 17,” once observed my worries during his older siblings’ teenage years. When he was just seven years old, he offered me his childlike wisdom: “Mom, teenagers are like cats—they always come home to eat,” and “Mom, if you are worried, it helps to keep yourself busy.”

Now, Zander is that teenager. His bedroom door is closed and his schedule is packed, but at least he still comes home to eat. Our time with him and our opportunities to prepare him for adulthood are slipping away. I try to apply the lessons I learned from parenting my older two, striving to support him intentionally while giving him the space he needs to grow and discover life on his own.

How should we prepare our children, and for what purpose?

As parents, we must equip our children with the skills, mindset, and values to navigate an ever-changing world with confidence and resilience. Reflecting on the fact that we are constantly setting an example in these areas reminds me of the profound responsibility that comes with parenthood.

Relationship with God, Self, and Others

It is important to me that my children develop a personal relationship with God. I am acutely aware of how unique each child’s faith journey is. My role has been to plant the seeds of faith, nurture their curiosity, and trust that God will strengthen their relationship with Him in His perfect timing. As a family, we often recognise and share moments of God’s presence in nature and through life’s small blessings. I cherish every photo they send me of Creation’s beauty, reminding us of His handiwork.

Our children need to take the time to understand themselves and learn how to identify, manage, and healthily express their emotions. At the same time, we all must practice listening with empathy, respecting different perspectives, and trying to understand others. Our children closely observe our actions and behaviours while navigating their relationships.

Open conversations with them are essential, but finding the right moments can be challenging, especially during the teenage years. When we lived in South Africa, I drove my boys to school, which gave us valuable time to talk. Zander takes the train to school, so I must find new ways to connect with him. We eat together, and I often invite him for gelato by the lake to spend quality time together.

Critical Thinking, Problem-Solving, and Life Skills

As parents, we play a crucial role in teaching our children problem-solving skills. However, they can only truly learn and build confidence by facing challenges.

I used to jump in immediately to help my children through their struggles, eager to solve their problems alongside them. But when we moved to Switzerland, I believe my Creator intentionally placed me on the other side of the world so I could learn to step back. I had to practice listening from a distance and offering advice only when they asked.

It’s also important not to be limited by traditional gender roles. Before I started working, my dad taught me how to change a car tyre. I had to practice it until he was confident, I could handle it. Similarly, my boys have been baking cookies and preparing meals together since they were little. One of them has even turned his passion for baking into a business.

Financial responsibility was another key lesson I wanted to instil in my children. During their student years, we created a budget together at the beginning of each year. Whenever unexpected expenses arose, we would discuss how to address them as a team. They had to find ways to earn money to keep their finances afloat. I watched them learn to manage their finances, make thoughtful adjustments, and support each other as friends when necessary.

Adaptability in an Ever-Changing World

We must equip our children with the skills to navigate an unpredictable world and face life’s challenges. No one knows what the future holds, and difficulties often arise unexpectedly. Our goal is to teach them to be flexible and to adapt without breaking.

To achieve this, we should help them view failures as learning opportunities and emphasise their effort, perseverance, and problem-solving skills rather than just their successes. By leading by example, we can approach challenges with curiosity rather than fear.

Since children learn best through experience, we must provide opportunities that push them beyond their comfort zones. For instance, I was terrified when Zander, at 15, wanted to spend six weeks in Australia on an exchange program. However, I had to learn that letting go is part of parenting. The personal growth we witnessed in him was incredible.

The way we perceive and discuss change influences our children. If we embrace change as a natural part of life, they will learn to do the same, realising that change can lead to growth and new opportunities for both them and us.

I am learning from my children now

As our children mature into adulthood, our relationship transforms into one of mutual learning and inspiration. We no longer guide them; they teach us as well. I am grateful for this shift because, as we age, it becomes increasingly challenging to keep up with the rapid pace of change in the world.

We continue to learn from each other’s perspectives and support one another through challenges. They inspire me in unexpected and different ways.

Regards,

Emsia

Mom’s love, laughter and life lessons

26/02/2025 emsia.kruger

This year, our mother, Lenie, is celebrating her 80th birthday. In recent years, many of our school friends have lost their parents. As children, we often visited one another’s homes, shared meals, and had sleepovers. Our families became deeply intertwined, and the passing of these parents has had a profound impact on us. At the same time, my mother has felt the loss of long-standing friendships, as fewer people visit or call regularly to check in on her.

We wanted to use her birthday to thank her for her invaluable role in our lives and remind her of her contributions and positive impact on others and the community. To accomplish this, we asked school friends and family to share anecdotes and stories that reflected her influence. Stories have power.

These stories and memories made us smile for many different reasons. They were as meaningful to my sister and me as to our mother. They also revealed several life lessons and truths I would like to share.

Over a lifetime, we evolve through many different versions of ourselves

The contributions we received came from people who knew my mother at various stages of her life. Each story reflected a version of her at a specific point in time. Over the years, we all go through many different versions of ourselves.

As children, we witness only a few versions of our parents, while they, in turn, see every version of us. Each version significantly shapes our life journey and contributes to the person we are today.

We should approach the younger versions of ourselves with reverence and respect. Those earlier selves faced challenges and celebrated triumphs that became the foundation of our growth. Through those experiences, we found strength, healed, and learned to thrive.

The timeless joys that weave like a golden thread through our lives

Friendships, gardening, music, and sewing are the joys that run like a golden thread through the anecdotes and stories about my mother. These simple pleasures transcend time and place, always available to her no matter where her future path may lead.

It reminded me once again how vital it is to invest time in the things that bring us joy. One day, the future versions of ourselves will look back with gratitude for the happiness we cultivated along the way.

The impact we have on others

My mother had a way of making our friends feel welcome in our home. She took a genuine interest in their lives, sharing their joys and sorrows with laughter and tears. Sometimes, she even pitched in with last-minute oral presentations or unfinished knitting projects. Her love of baking was legendary—her tarts, koeksisters, and rusks were unforgettable.

Some of our school friends shared heartfelt words about the impact of her care, compassion, and listening ear on their lives. It moved me deeply. It reminded me that people always remember how we made them feel, even if we are unaware of the lasting impression we leave. Our patience, love, and kindness form part of the legacy we leave behind.

The unique gifts we bring to the world

Each of us is born with something special—a gift that is uniquely ours. It might be a talent, a quirk, or a distinct way of seeing the world. My mother’s gift is her beautiful singing voice, which she shared in the church choir, the town revue group, and even at weddings.

A few more of her gifts became evident through the stories and memories others shared. Her gift is seeing the positive in every situation. I will always think of her radiant smile and the dimples on her cheeks. She had a way of helping everyone around her find a splash of colour in life’s grey moments. With endless patience, she listened to people’s stories and gave them the comfort of being heard.

Everyone possesses unique gifts and talents. We must use them to make the world better and brighter.

The echo of words in our lives

My mother had a few sayings that resurface in my mind during life’s moments. One that often comes to me is, “Just wait until you’re a mother yourself one day, then you’ll understand.” She usually said this while standing at my bedroom window, anxiously watching the street, waiting for my sister to come home. In my teenage wisdom, I’d advise her to stop worrying and go to sleep. Now, as a parent myself, I often hear her words echo when I find myself worrying about my children.

Another saying of hers was, “Keep the crown on your husband’s head.” She lived this advice beautifully, showing her love for my father through her unwavering support and encouragement. After my first marriage ended, I changed the wording of her wisdom to: “Keep the crown on the father of your children’s head.” Even years later, I am grateful for my mother’s voice echoing in my mind, guiding me to act with love, respect, and understanding.

Living a legacy of kindness

Hearing positive words about our impact on others, especially on a milestone like an 80th birthday, is truly heartwarming. It reminds us to reflect on our own lives from this perspective. Living fully aware that our daily actions touch others, can inspire us to live more fearlessly.

It is not the significant accomplishments that leave the most profound impact. What truly matters is how we made people feel—how we were present for them, offering a listening ear or a word of loving encouragement when they needed it most. That is the legacy that endures.

Regards

Emsia

Letting go is part of parenting

02/04/2024 emsia.kruger

As a mom who has guided two teenagers into young adulthood, one might assume I would be better prepared for Zanders’ request. However, his suggestion to address a need to stretch himself still caught me off guard. I needed to evaluate my 15-year-old son’s needs objectively. It was helpful to reflect on my adult sons` needs, actions and development when they were around the same age.

Jacques

The first request of my eldest son that caught me off guard came during his grade 11 year. Jacques wanted to go on a teenage holiday with his best friend and peers. The plan involved his friend’s older brother, a student, driving them 400km to Hartenbos. It was a situation I hadn’t encountered before, and my mind raced with concerns about potential risks. I made a quick decision and said no.

The friend’s mom drew on her expertise as a psychologist and reassured me in a message. She acknowledged that it is common for parents to feel and react this way, especially with their oldest child. She assured me that all the young people involved were responsible and that they could benefit by taking steps toward independence. I still remember her comment that a mother’s perspective and approach to such situations often evolve when dealing with a second and third child.

However, before making a final decision, I needed to step back and apply my analytical approach. My request marked Jacques’ first significant lesson in understanding the concept of risks and the importance of implementing control measures. I asked him to compile a list of all the concerns I might have regarding his proposed trip. Additionally, for each risk identified, he was tasked with suggesting measures that would alleviate my worries. To my surprise, Jacques put considerable effort into my request and generated solutions for potential concerns beyond what I had anticipated.

In addition to enjoying a memorable holiday, Jacques unexpectedly benefited from his efforts in a completely different manner. A question on the English Grade 12 final exam paper required students to write a letter of motivation persuading parents to permit them to go on a Grade 12 holiday with friends.

Christo

Christo had a bustling social calendar, and ferrying him around became a regular task. In a bid for independence, he proposed a motorcycle, which ended up causing me premature ageing. One night, when he failed to return home on time, my mind raced with visions of a potential accident.

My anxiety kept Charl awake as well. Sensing my distress, he offered to help me contact the emergency units of various hospitals. The first hospital we reached had just admitted a casualty from a motorcycle accident. However, upon learning that the patient spoke English, I realised it was not Christo. It took a lot of self-control to wait till the following day before I was in a better emotional state to share my experience and perspective of the situation with him.

During his grade 11 year, Christo wanted to participate in an outreach program to Zambia. Africa scared me, but the fact that it was a school-organized trip gave me more comfort. It proved to be an incredible opportunity to broaden his perspective on the world.

While there, the young participants stayed with Zambian families, immersing themselves in the local culture. Christo recounted stories of joining the family’s children in catching a chicken for dinner, plucking it, and adding it to the pot. Despite having limited resources, the Zambian hosts treated their visitors with the utmost hospitality. They offered them the meat while they consumed only maize porridge with the meat sauce. This experience deeply touched my teenage son’s compassionate heart.

Zander

Zander wanted to participate in an exchange program offered through the Round Square organization at his school. The arrangement enabled a student from another country to stay with us for six weeks, attending school alongside Zander. Subsequently, Zander reciprocates the visit, spending six weeks in the student’s home country, attending their school. Since Zander yearned for the ocean, he was thrilled when the exchange matched him with a student his age from Perth, allowing him to attend a school near the coast.

The idea of sending my 15-year-old son alone on a plane to Australia to live with strangers for six weeks was daunting. We promptly arranged an online meeting with the family to ease my apprehension. Following our virtual encounter, I felt significantly reassured. There was an immediate connection, and their way of life felt familiar.

We are eagerly anticipating Campbell’s arrival in Zurich just after the Easter weekend. He is excited to experience snow for the first time and wants to practice his French, which he is taking as an Additional Language in school. We have promised to take him to the Alps to experience snow and to visit a French-speaking area in Switzerland. Campbell was thrilled to learn we had booked train tickets for a long weekend trip to Paris.

Scotch College, Perth

Zander and Campbell will fly to Perth together in May. Zander will be attending Scotch College Boys’ School along with Campbell. He will wear the school uniform and join the Chapel service once a week. Additionally, Zander will participate in the hall assembly on Fridays, witnessing the boys marching in house groups to the tunes of the College Pipe Band. Renowned for its excellence, the College Pipe Band frequently performs at International Tattoos.

In addition, Zander will participate in the school’s mandatory sports and community service programs. The latter offers students a chance to express their Christian values in a tangible way in practice. Scotch College works with various organisations, including, among others, Disabled Surfing, Second Bite (which redistributes food), Salvation Army, and People Who Care.

Letting our children go is an act of love

I am happy that my children are challenging themselves. In the process, they also challenge me and help me to grow and discover the world through their experiences.

Our challenge, as parents, is to recognise that holding on may feel comforting. Letting our children go and allowing them to grow and flourish is a profound act of love. We must support and celebrate their increasing independence. When they are confident in their ability to stand on their own feet, they will return, and we will have an enduring bond of loving interdependence that lasts a lifetime.

Regards

Emsia

Flowers for my mom at Keukenhof

22/03/2021 emsia.kruger

My image of my mom is a large bed full of brightly coloured flowers. Her lovely garden is her playground but also her hiding place. She shows her love with flowers. As a schoolgirl, she spoiled me on my birthday with roses from her garden. There is always a bunch of flowers in our rooms when we visit. I was very excited when the opportunity arose five years ago to show my mother the most beautiful spring garden in the world, Keukenhof.

Excitement and distress

I could not wait to share the news with her. Her excitement was as great as her distress. At age 71, she had never been overseas. Glimpses of Keukenhof on television were sufficient motivation for her to apply for a passport. She also bought a warm jacket and knitted a blue beanie.
My mother and I flew via Dubai and met Charl in Amsterdam. We enjoyed the different meals and wide selection of music and movies on the plane. She surrendered to the experience and ran when necessary to catch the connecting flight.

Our stay in Leiden was perfect

Our stay in Leiden was perfect. The bed-and-breakfast lady was a retired psychologist about my mother’s age. Because Dutch and Afrikaans are so close, we communicated and understood each other in our languages. Our hostess spoiled us with various Dutch delicacies. Every morning there was another homemade surprise, fresh from the oven, for breakfast. The language and culture of the Dutch programs on television amused us.

Amsterdam, Zaanse Schans and Delft factory

We planned our Keukenhof visit for later in the week. Meanwhile, we explored Amsterdam on foot and admired the people, thousands of bicycles, and historic buildings. When our legs became tired, we viewed the city from one of the boats on the canals. We visited the Zaanse Schans and saw windmills, craft shops and museums. At the Delft factory, they made the most beautiful hand-painted blue Delft crockery.

Tulip fields

The day before our Keukenhof excursion, we drove around between the tulip farms and admired the rows of colour. Sometimes we got out of the car to take a closer look and experience the wonderful smell of the masses of flowers. The image of the flower fields was my picture of heaven. We were amazed at the golden yellow Daffodils that emerged like wildflowers everywhere.

Keukenhof

Keukenhof was more than I expected. It was satisfactory to see the amazement in my mom’s eyes, and it was precious to experience her joyfulness. We were amazed by the many exhibits, colourful tulip varieties and other flowers. When Charl later noticed that we had walked more than 10km, my mom remarked in surprise, Hey, I did not even know I could walk that far!

This year we were hoping to visit Keukenhof for a second time. Keukenhof receives more than a million visitors a year. Keukenhof was ready to open on 20 March 2021 and started selling tickets online. However, the government informed them that the current Covid conditions did not yet allow them to open, even though their gardens are ready. Covid numbers in Europe are rising again, indicating the third wave. Fortunately, Keukenhof displayed their gardens virtually on social media. I, therefore, start every day with a quick visit to Keukenhof!

I wish I could surprise my mother with an unexpected visit and flowers. However, I am now limited to the tulip photos I send her via WhatsApp. Fortunately, I know from experience that out of the blue-opportunities do sometimes arise.

Kind regards

Emsia