Many of my friends’ youngest children write their final school exams. November is a stressful month, and soon they will have to adjust to an empty home. They experience the conclusion of a meaningful chapter in their life book.

God handpick our friends

Every mother looks back and thinks with a smile about the turbulence of motherhood. I know I would never have survived without the input and help of friends. I believe that God handpicked these friends for me.  There is no coincidence in the selection or timing of people crossing our path. I wrote more about it in synchronicity is never accidental.

Friends see your need and help without you asking. They encourage and give honest opinions. They challenge you to try new things or to see situations in new ways. Sometimes they can spot or create humour when you are on the verge of despair.

Little boys

Jackie and I crossed paths when our boys were little. She ended up in Cape Town after her husband’s heart transplant. It was at the same time that I was going through a divorce. Despite her challenges, she was always ready to help. Many times, she took my boys home with her after school. It allowed me to finish my work and then enjoy a glass of wine on her porch as we watched the sunset view of Table Mountain. Sometimes she also spoiled us with delicious, cooked food.

She was happy for me when Charl showed up in my life. I found love again, but shortly before our wedding, her husband died. With a lot of raw emotion and loss, she bravely attended our wedding. It was our turn to help and support where we could.

Fortunately, she found love again. We both understood the challenges of raising teenage boys with the help of a father who is not their own. Our boys are young men now, but we are grateful for the role we were able to play in each other’s lives.

Young men

In Christo’s final year of school, he fell in love. Just before we moved to Zurich, his girlfriend’s mother, Ronel and I went for a cup of coffee to get to know each other. We enjoyed each other’s company, and we could not stop talking. Little did I know what critical role Ronel would play in my life.

I did not know there was a pandemic on the way and that Ronel’s house would become my child’s home for almost 18 months. She dropped him off at the residence and regularly spoiled him with treats. Nothing was too much trouble for her, and she kept me up to date with pictures and messages. She understood the situation well since her parents also relocated to work abroad after she finished school, while she stayed behind in South Africa for her studies.

Our children’s relationship, unfortunately, did not survive Covid-19, but Ronel and I decided that our friendship would continue. After our one-time meeting, our connection grew through calls, messages, and letters. With her love of travel, we hope she can visit me in Switzerland.

My sister, my friend

I am very blessed that one of my friends is also my sister. We are four years apart, and I did not put her in the friendship category for the first twenty years. In my teens, she and her friends sometimes drove me crazy. One afternoon, they hid in a big tree next to the school’s rugby field and howled like foxes while the rugby team practised. It was a significant embarrassment because I was in love with one of those players.

I never thought she would be my 911 if I needed advice and perspective as a mom. We have approached our teenage years very differently, and her perspective on certain situations is valuable. There were times when I called her in the morning with a heavy heart on the way to work. However, I arrived at work much lighter with perspective and motivation. She also has a great sense of humour, and her laughter therapy always works.

Friends are gifts from God, each wrapped in their unique packaging. They walk the path of life with us, providing support, encouragement, perspective and acts of love and caring.
Thank you to everyone who walks the path with me and is there for me.

Regards

Emsia