Change is something we all will experience during our lives. We experience changes in our work, relationships, health, community, and the world. Sometimes we are planning a change and are aware that a change is going to take place. However, in many cases, the change appears unexpectedly in front of our doors and surprises us.

Our ability to handle change positively is called resilience. On the sports field, your fitness determines how fast you recover after intense exercise. In the same way, your resilience will determine how effectively you will recover mentally and emotionally after life-changing events. Fortunately, we can practice and improve our ability to handle change.

The phases of change

According to experts, change consists of three phases. The first phase is finishing, parting, and closing with accompanying loss and relief. Second is the in-between phase, as the trapeze artist in the circus lets go of the bar on one side but is uncertain if the bar will be on the other end at the right time and place. The third phase is the new beginning. It usually brings an element of excitement but also the uncertainty of whether you can handle the new challenge.

Reflection on my life changes

Leaving the nest

My first significant change was when I left my parent’s house after school. The distance and adjustment to residence and university life challenged me in many ways. At the end of my first year, I was 15 kg heavier and all my new clothes too tight. Every time I must adjust to change as an adult, I appear as a confused student in my dreams and do not know what’s going on or what class I should attend. In my dreams, I have visited many universities worldwide as a confused and insecure student.

Working in London

We went to work in London as young adults. This adjustment was next level, and I was out of my depth. My biggest problem was that I could not speak English properly. In addition, as a child from the Kalahari, city life and the grey weather were significant adjustments. London, however, helped me get to know myself better and improve my perseverance and resilience. I share more about my experience in England in my letter with the title, Grappling with Languages.

Divorce and remarriage

My adjustment as a divorced woman with two little boys was challenging on a practical and social level. We found a new routine over time, and I learned new home and garden maintenance skills. However, once we got comfortable in our new lifestyle, Charl started to form part of our picture. Charl’s adaptation was enormous as he suddenly had to help raise two boys even though he had never lived in a house with children. He did not have the faintest idea of what he was letting himself in.

Relocating to Switzerland

Moving to Switzerland is our most recent significant change. I shared more about it in my letter on Lifestyle changes in Switzerland. I know that every change and adjustment I have had to make so far has helped me prepare for the adjustments in a new country. Who knows what changes await me in the future?

Resilience during change

I learned that the following help with resilience as we go through change:

• Identify the aspects that you do have control over. It’s easy to get entangled in the many situations you cannot control. It is, therefore, critical to seek opportunities to empower yourself to work towards change.
• See change as an opportunity. Changes allow you to reconsider your priorities. You can decide how to spend your time and what is important to you.
• Be your own best friend and take good care of yourself. It is normal to feel emotional during change. It is necessary to be patient with yourself and live with awareness. You should reflect on your thought patterns and ensure rational thinking. Both routine and regular physical exercise have a positive impact.
• Talk to someone. When you try to explain all your many thoughts to someone, it helps with your perspective, and you feel lighter. If you are not comfortable chatting with friends or family, you are welcome to contact me as an independent coach.

All the best to you if you are dealing with change.

Kind regards

Emsia