Letters Home

The winter months in Switzerland are cold, long, and dark. The news colours the coming winter’s picture even darker because of Europe’s dependency on Russian energy and the diminishing reserves.

However, I have no control over these things and try to focus on the light instead. Over the years, the Swiss have developed many traditions to create light and cosiness during winter. We make a point of seeking out the light and activities creating energy.

Rabechilbi in Richterswil

In November, the Swiss celebrate Räbechilbi (turnip festival). We attended the biggest festival in Richterswil. Residents carved designs on the turnip walls and decorated their balconies and gardens with turnip lanterns.

At the start of the festivities, we enjoyed mulled wine and garlic bread while listening to the town brass band. When the organizers turned off the town’s lights at 18h00, the turnip lanterns transformed the village into a wonderland. The parade, in which the children also took part with their homemade turnip lanterns, took our breath away.

Advent season

Lucy Christmas lights in Bahnhofstrasse

The tradition of switching on “Lucy” Christmas lights in Bahnhofstrasse kicks off the Advent season in Zurich. On the last Thursday in November, many people gather to see how they turn on the 23,000 light crystals spread over a kilometre. Since we have lived in Zurich, we have attended this event every year. All the lights, together with the cheerful atmosphere, ignite hope and positivity inside me.

Christmas markets and Fondue

The Christmas market opening and the switching on of the Christmas lights happen on the same night. There are several Christmas markets in Zurich, the largest of which is close to Lake Zurich. Around 100 market stalls form a cosy Christmas village against the spectacular backdrop of the Opera House. People socialize around fires while drinking mulled wine and enjoying street food.

Like every previous year, a friend invited Zander to an ice skating birthday party on the last Saturday in November at the Dolder open-air ice-skating rink. It is one of the biggest in Europe, and they skate around a giant Christmas tree with beautiful lights.

We already have a tradition that Charl and I visit the Christmas market while we wait for Zander. Afterwards, we go to Chäsalp for fondue to celebrate Charl’s birthday. In winter, temporary wooden huts arise for people to enjoy fondue and raclette. Cheese is part of Swiss culture.

Advent wreath

The Advent wreath is a significant part of the Advent season. There are a variety of advent wreaths for sale and many opportunities to make your own. The wreath and candles are full of symbolism linked to the Christmas season.

The wreath, made of various evergreens, signifies continuous life. The circle of the wreath, which has no beginning or end, symbolizes the soul’s immortality and the eternal life we find in Christ.

The four candles represent the four weeks of Advent and each of them has a special meaning. They symbolize hope, faith, joy, and peace.  Every Sunday, one candle is lit. They shine brightly despite the darkness and remind us that Jesus came as the light of the world.

Light in the darkness

We all experience darkness somewhere in our lives, and many people feel like the darkness in their situations and the world want to overwhelm them. My wish for the Christmas season is that we will continue to look for the light in the darkness. Furthermore, I wish we could bring light to others so they can see opportunities and find hope and positivity despite life’s challenges.

Happy Christmas season to you! May it be a period full of light.

Regards

Emsia

It is hard for my children to believe that the launch of everyday items like personal computers, cell phones, video games, and digital wristwatches only happened during my lifetime.

I wonder in what way will current technological developments bring change in my children’s lives. Fascinating technological developments crossed my path recently.

Electric cars

In Switzerland, the increase in electric cars is accelerating at a high rate. Currently, 26 % of newly registered cars are electric rechargeable models. The goal is to increase this percentage to 50% in 2025. The government’s proposed environmental legislation to reduce CO2 significantly drives this goal.

As a result, we see more Tesla vehicles on the road. One of Charl’s colleagues with a Tesla uses the option where the vehicle drives itself. He admitted that it was difficult to hand over control. However, the opportunity it creates for him to be able to work on his way to the office makes this option worthwhile.

The latest trend is also to lease vehicles rather than buy them. Leasing allows one to drive a brand-new model covered by the manufacturer’s warranty. It also creates the possibility of travelling in a more expensive, better-equipped vehicle than you would otherwise be able to afford.

Hospitality industry

A friend, Linda, recently spent the night at Zurich airport to catch an early connecting flight. She stayed over at the Alpine Garden – Capsule Hotel. The concept amazed me.

Guests spend the night in a capsule. Your bed is for your privacy, but the rest of the beautifully decorated areas are for shared use. The bathroom even has a jacuzzi. They have automated all processes, including check-in, unlocking your capsule with a code, and getting breakfast.

I suspect we can expect many future changes in the hospitality industry. There is a much greater focus on automation, sensitivity to environmental impact and effectiveness. The Airbnb concept, introduced in 2008, was already a different way of thinking.

Cryptocurrency

Nowadays, many young people invest their money in cryptocurrency (crypto). My generation saw property, shares, or pension funds as investment opportunities.

Crypto is a digital payment system that does not rely on banks to verify transactions. Instead of physical money exchanged in the real world, cryptocurrency payments exist simply as digital entries to an online database that describe specific transactions.

Bitcoin was the first decentralized cryptocurrency. Since March 2022, more than 9,000 other cryptocurrencies have been in the market. Crypto fluctuates a lot, and I must confess that my nerves are not strong enough for this type of investment.

Metaverse

The Metaverse concept is one that really fascinates me, and I recently got a glimpse of it.

As I understand it, Metaverse is a shared, online space where users interact with each other and computer-generated objects and avatars. It is a virtual world that exists alongside the physical world. It creates a new way for people to use the internet and changes web content from 2D to three-dimensional objects. Users will have a visual and physical experience by using virtual reality headsets. Metaverse is, therefore, a place where virtual 3D worlds integrate.

Metaverse will have its own economic system and currency. People can own metaverse property and design spaces based on creativity and imagination. In the Metaverse world, the system will use NFTs as digital representations of tangible items, such as works of art and other assets. NFTs will improve the buying and selling process and reduce fraud risk.

Zander and I visited an exhibition at the Zurich airport, where we could experience a virtual world and NFTs on display.

It’s hard for me to wrap my head around this futuristic concept. Christo and Zander enjoyed playing computer games such as Minecraft, where players build virtual items for their avatars to use. For me, this is the closest example I have to visualize Metaverse.

Technological innovation, like art, is a product of the human imagination and impacts society significantly. Even though I sometimes struggle to keep up with technology, the social impact of these changes fascinates me tremendously.

regards

Emsia

Zander recently had to write an essay about an experience from one of his parents’ childhoods. I told him the story about the first significant change in my life. I was five years old when our entire town had to move to a newly developing town.

Big news brought significant change

I was born in a small mining town called Sishen. My dad worked at the Iscor iron ore mine in the Kalahari. The community was small, everyone knew each other, and the red mine heaps were part of our background.

In the early 70s, everyone who worked at the mine received news that would change the entire town’s future. The Sishen houses and community centre were in a high iron ore-rich area, and people had to move. Iscor would develop a new mining town called Kathu in a beautiful camel-thorn forest. Kathu means “town under the trees”. The beautiful surroundings, together with new mine houses, made it attractive.

We moved to Kathu a year before I had to go to school. The town was still in an early stage of development. For our children, it was paradise. There were piles of red sand and trenches in which we could hide. After bath time, a layer of sand remained in the bath.

I went to grade 1 in 1976. The primary school was already inaugurated but still under construction. I remember how we practised athletics on the red sand roads with bare feet. The hot sand and the thorns of the camel thorn trees created additional challenges.

Iscor developed Kathu from scratch

We grew up in a developing town with many new things and places. Iscor has put a lot of effort into developing sports facilities. There is a beautiful Olympic standard swimming pool where we spent a lot of time after school and the lovely tennis courts between the camel thorn trees where we held tournaments during our holidays.

Kathu still boasts one of South Africa’s most beautiful golf courses. Part of it lies within the camel thorn forest on the edge of the desert and rates as one of the top 20 golf courses in the country. It has a spacious clubhouse with a beautiful restaurant, where you can watch the golden-orange sunset behind the trees while enjoying local quality meat.

The inauguration of each place was a big celebration. I can well remember when Kathu got its first big supermarket, Checkers. During opening week, we devoured bags full of Pick-a-Mix chocolate. A fashion show opened the first women’s boutique. There were also two other clothing stores, but most mothers had sewing skills and bought materials from Naald in ‘n Hooimied for unique creations.

Kathu today

Kathu has developed and changed a lot and no longer feels like the town I grew up. After I left Kathu, Anglo American Group bought over the Sishen mine and implemented transformation projects driven by the change in South Africa. The iron ore mine in Kathu is one of the largest in the world and a significant provider of work. Many people flocked to Kathu and the town bursts at the seams. In the meantime, a few shopping centres appeared with chain stores and known franchises.

I was impressed to see the Kathu Solar Park from the air. Kathu Solar Park started on 30 January 2019 to deliver renewable energy to South Africa’s national grid through Concentrated Solar Power (CSP) technology. They form part of the government’s Renewable Energy Independent Power Producers procurement program that delivers jobs, socio-economic benefits, and clean power.

I often go back to my roots

My parents, Christo and Lenie Carstens started their life together 56 years ago in Sishen and my mom still lives in the house in which we grew up.

I like to visit her in Kathu and my brother-in-law and sister, Andre and Ansa van Zyl on their farm in the area. Feeling the red Kalahari sand between my toes and seeing the sunset behind the camel-thorn trees gives me great joy.

During my visits, I have the opportunity to see old school friends and recall wonderful memories of happy childhood among camel thorn trees, red sand and iron ore mine heaps.

Kind regards

Emsia

One sometimes makes the mistake of thinking that your way of doing things is the right, the best, or the only way. In a different environment, you realize various approaches to the same situation are possible and challenge you to broaden your perspective. Switzerland confronted me with this in several ways.

Compliance offers freedom

One of the first things I noticed in Switzerland was the high level of compliance. Citizens ensure an orderly coexistence by taking the responsibility of pointing out non-compliance. Zander and his friends have a term for it – the locals “swiss” you! At first, it caused stress, but I could see and understand the positive impact on order and safety and the resulting freedom.

On arrival, I noticed no prior train ticket check before embarking on public transport. Compliance is assumed. Officers in casual clothes sometimes check on surprise-basis passenger tickets on the local trains, and the fines are high if you violate the rules.

My young adult sons found it strange that people could use alcohol in public and on trains. I also noticed it when festive goers walked with a beer in hand during the Zurich Street Parade and did not misbehave.

In Switzerland, military service is compulsory for young Swiss men. I was surprised when I saw a young man dressed in his military uniform drinking a beer on the train. I grew up when military service was still compulsory in South Africa, and this picture was, in many ways, an exception to my frame of reference.

The naked truth

The Swiss, like other Europeans, are much more comfortable with nudity than me based on my upbringing. People will easily discreetly change clothes after a swim in the lake, and are comfortable getting dressed in front of other people and even walking around without clothes in public changing rooms.

Our sauna experiences

Spa and thermal baths are popular winter activities and one of our winter fun discoveries.

Charl and I tried our local pool’s beautifully and neatly furnished spa facilities. There was a suggested sequence for using the offerings, alternating sauna, and steam rooms with ice-cold baths for optimal health benefits.

The sauna was first on the list. Upon entering, I noticed that the people inside, all men, were not wearing any swimwear. I was uncomfortable but decided to sit quietly in my corner and keep my eyes on the door.
After a while, they both walked out. I sensed from their body language their conversation with a lady had something to do with us.

In Swiss style, she opened the door and firmly informed us that swimwear was not allowed in the sauna. I needed some processing time. We decided to follow the rules but went into the steam room where you could not see a thing. After a few minutes, my courage disappeared, and we went home. I still have some internal work to do on the topic of nudity.

The gynaecological visit

After more than two years in Switzerland, my conscience reminded me it was time for my annual gynaecological visit. As I walked into the consulting rooms, the doctor and I realized that her English and my German were equally limited. My eyes quickly went around the room to find the dressing cubicle with the pink patient gown. I realized with shock that Swiss doctors are advocates of effectiveness and with greater comfort with nudity changing rooms and patient gowns are unnecessary.

The situation confronted me with the naked truth. The doctor and I struggled through the examination in a mixture of English, German and gestures and were equally relieved when I walked out.

Money matters

Zurich is one of the most expensive cities in the world. The prices of everyday items were initially a big shock.

In South Africa, we are used to high inflation rates, accompanied by high-interest rates. At least there is an advantage to high-interest rates if you have some savings in the bank. In Switzerland, inflation and interest rates are low. However, the “negative” interest rate concept in Switzerland surprised us. If your bank balance reaches a certain threshold, you pay interest for keeping your money in a Swiss bank!

Taxes also work quite differently. There are three levels of taxation. Swiss federal tax law is uniform throughout Switzerland, but each of the 26 cantons has a separate cantonal tax law. Municipalities levy their taxes as a multiple of cantonal taxes. Laws and tax rates vary significantly between cantons and between local governments. The choice of place of residence plays a significant role in tax planning.

Married couples must file a joint Swiss tax return, and the authorities assess them jointly. We are used to employers deducting taxes from employees’ salaries monthly and remitting them to the tax collector. In Switzerland, this only applies to ex-pats.

Like a new pair of shoes

They say settling in a new country is like getting used to a new pair of shoes. At first, they pinch a little, but you like how they look, so you keep going. The longer you wear them, the more comfortable they become.

Kind regards

Emsia

Letting go and the accompanying loss is recently a theme for many people close to me. Many friends have recently lost a parent, child, or spouse. Queen Elizabeth’s passing highlighted this for us all. The process of letting go visits us in different guises throughout our lives. It takes courage to face each of them.

When people go

People come into our lives for a reason, season, or lifetime. It is, therefore, a reality that people will go at some point. The depth of the loss depends on the depth of the relationship.

When someone dies

When someone we love dies, the loss of their presence leaves a great void. There are usually precious memories, stories, and personal belongings that we cherish. We let them go with great sadness but also gratitude for the privilege of being able to walk a path with them and their impact on us.

We try to find comfort in accepting that this is part of our Creator’s time and plan.

When people choose to go

However, it is difficult when people you love choose to leave your life. Letting them go with grace is an act of love. Unlike death, rejection and even shame accompany the loss. However, we mustn’t personalize it; usually, it has little to do with us.

People make this choice to go for different reasons. Sometimes the relationship is not a priority because they want to focus on another path or goal. Other times, it shines a bright light on the dark places they are not ready to visit. In many cases, they know something we don’t; they know their limitations at that moment.

When children leave the house

My generation is in the phase of our lives where our children leave the nest.

We must allow them to make their own choices and decisions. However, initially, you are on standby and ready for any crisis. The relationship changes drastically, and both parties experience loss and adjustment.

My 23-year-old son, who is now standing on his own two feet, recently sent me a short video containing an interview with clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson about the role of a mother. Peterson explained,

“The Freudians said the good Mother necessarily fails.  It means she stops providing the comfort that insulates people against the need for adventure. The best portrait I have seen of that is Michaelangelo’s Pieta. It is a statue of Mary and she has the adult body of Christ on her lap, but broken and destroyed.  That is the bravery of a mother.

She allows that to happen, but also facilitates it.  She says, “I understand the world out there is dangerous.  You might lose your body out there in the world, but if you stay here with me, you will lose your soul.”

In his way, he showed compassion by forwarding the video and acknowledging the conflict between a mother’s heart and mind. It also helped me to look at letting go of my young adult children in a different way.

To let go of the familiar

Change is part of growth. To grow, we must let go of the familiar, accept the loss and give up the reassurance of certainty. We experienced this very practically when we moved to Switzerland three years ago. We had to let go of our family home, the school, church, friends, Table Mountain, and the Winelands. In a new country, we had to make many lifestyle adjustments and learn a new language.

It is best to deal with the loss of a familiar environment the same way as with people. We should remember and celebrate what was good and fun and be grateful for having it in our life. I often remind myself that change is part of growth, and that adaptability strengthens me. A book of life consists of different chapters.

To let go of part of your identity

Sometimes situations force you to let go of those things to which you attach your value and identity. Only after I stopped working; I realized the extent to which I had allowed my identity to depend on my profession. 

Many internal and external factors influence our identities, such as society, family, loved ones, ethnicity, race, culture, location, opportunities, media, interests, appearance, self-expression, and life experiences.

Age gives us a lot of experience in the art of letting go

As time goes by, I understand that age provides us with a lot of experience in the art of letting go.

Over time, we must let go of things and people dear and precious to us. Often, we must also let go of health and mobility benefits and privileges.

Letting go with grace is an art. The mindset with which we do this is a significant challenge and test. I have a lot of respect for those who manage to grow old with dignity. Queen Elizabeth was one of those people for me.

Regards,

Emsia

I love visitors. It creates enjoyable energy in our home and allows me to spoil people close to my heart. In South Africa, our annual family get-together was my highlight. Throughout the year, I gathered outing ideas and planned the meals and activities well in advance.

I turned a deaf ear when Charl rebelled against the extra mattresses and bedding I had loaded on the ship with our move to Switzerland. Even though our apartment was small, I wanted to ensure enough beds for everyone who wanted to visit.

My children

Fortunately, six months after our move, my children visited in December 2019. The time together was cheerful.

The first snow was a memorable event; we caught the flakes on our tongues like children. We shared the Swiss tradition of fondue and baked pancakes as we traditionally celebrate rainy days in South Africa.

After their visit, I gathered Swiss outings and meal ideas but had no opportunity to share them. Beautiful scenery, historic building or new experience is more fun if you share them with someone else!

Soulmates

My joy was great when Vanessa informed me about her visit to Zurich for a conference. I recalled various moments during our friendship. We shared many laughs and chats as young women in our office 20 years ago. 

Vanessa and I live in Europe with our hearts and family still in South Africa. Our reasons for the situation are broadly the same. Corporate jobs for our generation in South Africa are dwindling. We understand and have compassion for each other’s lifestyle adjustments.

Due to Covid, she had to spend her first year in Amsterdam alone in an apartment. These were her circumstances when she had to set up a new department at a large firm. I gained a new respect for her bravery.

A European heatwave arrived with Vanessa. Without any air conditioning in Switzerland, everyone suffered. After one attempt to go out, we decided to keep our apartment as dark as possible and shared our joys and challenges over a glass of cold white wine at home.

Welgemoed friends

Personal and professional reasons brought Martin and Marna to Europe. Their daughter Danielle completed her music studies in Belgium and the Netherlands. The performance for her master’s degree was in the Zuid Afrika house in Amsterdam. It consisted of South African wine, food, music, and poetry.

After the concert, Martin had to be in Zurich for work, allowing me and Marna to enjoy a wonderful time together. We walked on the promenade and ate Flammeküche while watching the swans in the lake.

We also visited the House of Lindt in Schokolandeplatz. It was the ideal place for Marna to get gifts for her family at home. Our visit ended with a visit to Switzerland’s Rose City, Rapperswil. We sailed the entire length of the lake back on a boat and watched everyone play in the water.

Before their European visit, Martin received an unexpected job offer from Dubai. As a result, they had to shorten their stay. We enjoyed our last meal together next to the lake. During dinner, a storm arose, and on the way to the car, the floodgates of heaven opened. We were soaking wet. The receptionist at their hotel reception could not suppress his laughter when he saw them!

Our friends are increasingly moving overseas

Our friends are increasingly moving overseas. Everyone needs to adapt to a new country, culture, and circumstances while longing and praying for family and friends at home. Discovering and exploring are exciting. However, loneliness and longing for loved ones are sometimes difficult. We agreed to be each other’s family abroad.

I greet you with the words from ʼn Antjie Krog’s poem that Danielle also used in her concert. Roughly translated into English, it says:

And even if you are not with me
I am proof of our commitment
Like flowers blooming in the twilight
I hear you tonight like a far-off train.

Kind regards

Emsia