Just like 17 years ago, I also celebrated this year’s Easter weekend with my mom and sons. Last time in 2006, my circumstances were very different. I found peace in the togetherness and the beauty of nature after challenging two years of being a single mother and keeping my head above water. It was also the end of the period I allowed myself loads of solitude to find the real me between the ashes.

Before we returned home, I asked my mom to watch my two little boys so I could go rowing on the lake. Everything was quiet, and the water was like a mirror.

I prayed out loud and asked God for a second chance.

Lord, I’m ready for the rest of the journey
and need guidance on the way
Please send me the right travel partner
one ready for challenge and adventure
Please handpick that person
Someone who will steal my heart
and love and care for my children
But above all, someone who loves You.

Receiving second chances

Charl and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary this April. For us, it was a celebration of gratitude for second chances. In our case, it was a second chance at a marriage relationship.

However, second chances come in different guises and areas of our lives. Second chances differ from first chances in many ways.

First chances give us more experience.

First chances are excellent teachers, but we only realize this with time. We learn quickly through experience because the feedback is loud and clear, and we experience it first-hand. It widens our frame of reference and teaches us to be less judgmental, as we have usually experienced other people’s judgment through failed first chances. It gives us more insight, compassion, and perspective.

First chances teach us perspective.

When we first step into situations, we usually have a lot of expectations. Without realizing it, we focus on the benefit we will get. With second chances, we have learned to shift our focus to what we can bring to a situation or relationship instead of what we will get out of it.

Sometimes we assume we are entitled to all life experiences. We see something as a privilege when we cannot have or have lost it. They have different priorities in our lives. We approach them with more respect and put more effort into them.

First chances teach us that nobody is perfect, and people often do not display their best version.

In most cases, others’ behaviour is more about themselves than about us and teaches us to look at others through lenses of love, understanding and tolerance. The hardest part for me was learning to look at myself through these lenses.

Giving second chances

Sometimes you reach a place where you must decide whether to give another person a second chance. The ability to give each other second chances is one of humanity’s superpowers, and we must use it wisely.

Giving second chances is also a chance that you must choose to seize or not. When you need to make that decision, it is critical that you decide from a place of love for the other person and yourselves rather than fear or pain. You should also only do it when you feel that you and the other party are willing to put in the effort and time to make it work again.

Life consists of chances

Looking back on my life’s path, I realize that life offers us different chances or opportunities in various aspects of our lives. Before each event, we decide whether we want to risk it or not and this decision will determine what the next chapter in our book of life will look like. When we take a chance, there is always the risk that we could lose something, which is painful. The fear of pain often cautions us to take second chances because we have experienced the pain. However, it is also true that we will never win anything if we do not open ourselves up to first or second chances.

People often refer to the “The 3 C`s of Life

Kind regards

Emsia