Letters Home

Metaphors are powerful and can serve as valuable tools when we attempt to articulate intricate ideas for which we do not have the right words. When we incorporate metaphors into conversations or writing, they stimulate the imagination and facilitate the communication of emotions and impressions. Using metaphors, we can present familiar concepts in fresh, vibrant perspectives, subtly reshaping cognitive frameworks.

Recently, I participated in an exercise that challenged us to narrate significant aspects of our life journeys using symbols and metaphors. We were limited to five metaphors. It was a challenging task that forced me to think differently.

I chose the following five metaphors to represent aspects of my life story.

Metaphor 1 – Camel thorn pod

The first symbol I selected is the pod of a camel thorn tree. My roots trace back to Kathu in the Kalahari, nestled within a Camel Thorn Forest. The pod symbolises the security and nurturing environment I found in my parents’ home and community during my formative years. Our lifestyle was humble, grounded in a close connection to the earth.

The pod also represents versatility. Apart from nurturing new saplings, we harvested them for animal feed and as fuel for fires. Life in the Kalahari cultivated our problem-solving abilities and fostered a culture of innovation. Our parents instilled a strong work ethic and expected us to contribute to household chores. As a result, we have mastered several basic skills that have stayed with us throughout our lives.

Metaphor 2 – Calculator

The calculator symbolises the calculated way I approached my young adult life. I harboured specific notions about the trajectory of my life, particularly as a woman, envisioning how my career, marriage, and family would harmonise. Similarly to the processing by a calculator, I anticipated automatic outcomes to these aspects of my life.

Furthermore, the calculator embodies my career path within the financial sector. I worked at an auditing and accounting firm, assisting organisations in ensuring their financial statements reflect their financial health. However, I soon realised that while I thrived in the business world, my satisfaction stemmed from interactions with clients and colleagues rather than the tasks themselves. The outcomes in my profession deviated significantly from my initial expectations. The situation in my marriage was similar.

Metaphor 3 – Watering can

Gardening has always been a therapeutic outlet for me, offering valuable lessons. Among them, I have observed how a struggling plant in one part of my garden can thrive in a different environment with nourishment and ample water. This metaphor resonated deeply with me. Through tending to my garden, I have come to understand that my life’s purpose resembles that of a watering can. It is an instrument in the hands of God entrusted with nurturing others’ growth with love and care.

My journey began with an investment in my personal development through a Life Coaching course. The newfound knowledge and insight equipped me to help facilitate growth in other people. Initially, my focus turned to my children. Subsequently, after discussing my perspective with my boss, he facilitated a transition in my role at work. In my new role, I could actively contribute to the personal development of others. This shift brought me immense personal fulfilment.

Metaphor 4 – Pen

I discovered the enjoyment and value of writing early in my life. Writing is a valuable way to deal with the emotions that threaten to overwhelm me. It helps me make sense of what I feel. The paper or computer screen does not give advice. It listens without interruption and helps me gain perspective and answers. As we navigate life in Switzerland, my bi-weekly letters help me make sense of events, stay connected with people close to my heart, and preserve memories.

I realised that writing also allows me to impact other people’s lives with words. I plan to publish an eBook entitled Letters Home In the next few months. In it, I will explore the depths of our internal and external experiences and growth as a South African family living in a foreign country. I have weaved together the tapestry of our emotions, thoughts, and cultural encounters of our lives abroad.

Metaphor 5 – Clock

A clock serves as the perfect metaphor for our time spent in Switzerland. The environment epitomises structure and order, punctuality, and systems operating with Swiss precision. 

The initial fifty years of my life felt like a perpetual race against time. The situation has changed with our move to Switzerland. I received the one thing I had always yearned for — time. Focussing on my well-being and growth, I considered things that feed my heart and soul. I thought about ways to stay healthy and considered the knowledge and skills I wanted to expand. The process became a journey of self-discovery and intentional living.

The duration of our time in Switzerland is uncertain. It is a gift that could conclude abruptly at any moment and we see it as borrowed time.

The metaphor exercise helped me to think about my life story in pictures. Which items carry enough meaning as metaphors for you to summarise significant aspects of your life?

If a picture is worth a thousand words, a metaphor is worth a thousand pictures.

Regards

Emsia

With the arrival of spring, we see signs of new beginnings everywhere. The silence and loneliness of long, cold winter nights give way to happy sounds and signs of new life that are visible everywhere in nature. Buds appear on the trees, and flowers provide colour. Animals and insects awaken from their hibernation and instinctively know it is time to reproduce.

The Northern Hemisphere’s Easter in spring visibly brings home the message of new life. The emphasis is on awakening and new beginnings. People decorate the trees in their gardens with Easter eggs. The pastel-coloured eggs hidden among the blossoms emphasise the theme of renewal.

Animal life

Everywhere in nature are signs of new life and awakening, and blossoms and flowers colour the environment. Squirrels run energetically up and down trees while birds chirp happily in the trees from early morning. We see young animals everywhere. During a walk in the forest, I came across a deer cow and two calves. The surprise to see each other was mutual. Lambs and calves can be seen everywhere on the farms.

Amphibians

In early spring, signs reading “Mind the Frogs” are erected along various country roads in Switzerland. Charl noticed these signs on his route to work with the forest on one side and a golf course on the other. Barriers on the side of the road prevented the frogs from crossing. These amphibians hibernate in the forest during winter and then migrate to their breeding grounds in early spring.

One morning, while on his way to work, Charl witnessed a Susy Utzinger Animal Welfare Foundation helper collecting frogs and salamanders and carrying them across the road. A resident in our apartment complex also sent a message to the other residents to explain where the frogs’ migration routes are and requested them to drive carefully.

Hedgehogs

There are also similar awareness boards for the hedgehogs which awake from hibernation. Hedgehogs, considered an endangered species, receive protection in Switzerland. People welcome these nocturnal creatures into their gardens as they play a vital role in insect and snail control.

In Switzerland, automatic lawnmowers pose a threat to hedgehogs. These animals are nocturnal, but the adolescents roam during the day. When they spot a lawnmower as a potential threat, they instinctively curl into a ball with a fatal end.

Birds

Red hawks circle the freshly ploughed fields, looking for their next meal in the form of mice or moles. The crows feel threatened by the red hawks, and we have stood amazed and watched how the crows brazenly try to attack these birds of prey in the air and chase them away. I get the idea that our area also serves as a flying school for the red hawks, and we enjoy watching how the parents teach their young to fly with great patience.

The woodpecker bird’s distinctive hum as it beats and drums on rotting wood is something I will always associate with spring in Switzerland. We were excited when we saw a swan on her eggs by the lake. The eggs only hatch after six weeks. The young swans have a dark grey colour and only turn white after their second summer.

Blossoms and flowers

The arrival of spring heralds the emergence of the first flowers, snowdrops, crocuses, and daffodils. However, as anticipation builds for the season, another unexpected snow flurry often descends. Yet, it is truly inspiring to witness these resilient blooms pushing through the snow, bravely showcasing their vibrant colours to the world. Magnolia trees grace us with their blossoms from the third week of March, lingering until early April. Over time, various flowers adorn the landscape, painting it with breathtaking hues. 

Roses in seven Zurich fountains

In the week leading up to Easter, the Reformed Churches in Zurich adorn several fountains with roses. This practice began in 2021 amidst the height of the pandemic to instil hope during challenging times. Fast forward to 2024, amidst continued global uncertainty, the need for hope and peace remains. The tradition’s motto, “Ohne Dornen kein Rosen” (without thorns, no roses), underscores the resilience and beauty that can emerge from adversity.

Easter Eggs

In a country renowned for its chocolate, Easter eggs and Easter bunnies take centre stage. As early as March, shops become adorned with multicoloured Easter eggs, creating a vibrant display. Chocolate brands compete to offer the most exquisite Easter baskets adorned with bunnies and eggs. These delectable chocolate creations are almost too beautiful to indulge in and serve as stunning gifts. Businesses often present these exquisite creations as corporate gifts, adding a touch of sweetness to the season.

Easter celebrates new life

Easter, coupled with the arrival of spring, carries a profound message of renewal for Christians worldwide. It symbolizes the triumph of life over death, offering a powerful celebration of new beginnings and hope.

Kind regards

Emsia

I’ve always had a deep affection for stories. My earliest memories include the bedtime tales my mom read to me and the radio stories I listened to in the mornings. My dad’s anecdotes about his dorm antics never failed to make me laugh, offering a glimpse into the youthful and adventurous side of the responsible father I know. Even now, I derive immense pleasure, life lessons, and profound insights from books, movies, and the stories shared by others.

The significant role of stories in my life

I realise the significant role stories play in my life. My recall of events and situations influences how I feel about them and shapes my behaviour. Stories about shared experiences often foster a sense of connection and can even transform strangers into friends. Research shows that storytelling activates various brain parts and enhances our memory capabilities.

Writing regular letters home compels me to transform events in my life into stories. Several stories are characterized by positivity, joy, and serenity, whereas others exhibit uncertainty, disappointment, and loss. Within these stories, I contemplate the lessons or insights I’ve gleaned. I’ve learned not to share a personal story with others until I’ve processed all the events and outcomes myself and achieved a sense of peace about it.

Narrative Therapy

Fifteen years ago, I undertook a life coaching course right before my two eldest sons entered their teenage years. I needed to equip myself as a mother for this crucial phase as best as possible. Pursuing the Life Coaching Diploma was one of the most valuable investments I made in myself. It guided me in processing the hurts and disappointments I had been carrying up to that point, enabling me to approach my sons’ teenage years with greater readiness and understanding.

Last year, I came across the Narrative Pastoral Therapy course offered by Caritas in Mossel Bay. Recognizing the potential benefits, especially its use of storytelling in therapy, I felt drawn to it. Towards the end of the year, my South African friend Marna, who lives in Switzerland, informed me that we could participate in the course online from Switzerland. Marna and I joined the Zoom sessions conducted in Afrikaans from Mossel Bay. While bundled up in our thick sweaters to combat the Swiss winter, our fellow participants wrestled with staying cool amidst the summer heat.

Narrative Therapy teaches us to distinguish between the Person and the Problem. The Problem should not define the Person’s identity. Instead, the problem has its own identity, and by understanding its tactics through storytelling, we can more effectively separate ourselves from it.

This approach helped me grasp the Black Dog metaphor for depression. This metaphor illustrates how depression shadows its owner, akin to a loyal companion. Winston Churchill popularized the term Black Dog, attributing some of his challenges and periods of inactivity to his companion.

Weeds in my Garden

Many years ago, I have experienced bitterness in my life. I read a story that created a parallel between negative thoughts and weeds in a garden. The weeds multiply and replace the flowers and shrubs if you don’t get rid of them quickly. With my love of flowers and gardening, the story resonated with me. I could vividly imagine bitterness suffocating all traces of contentment and happiness.

During spring, weeds blanketed our expansive lawn. Determined to reclaim the space, I dedicated a weekend to weed removal. By the end, my body ached from the exertion, but a sizable pile of weeds, harbouring my bitterness, lay before me. I set the weed pile on fire to get rid of it for good. The power of the metaphor and the physical exercise were excellent therapy for me.

We own the copyright to our own stories

The narratives we craft about ourselves do not exist in isolation. Circumstances and interactions with others shape them. When someone treats us poorly, their negative influence often lingers in our self-perception. While we may not alter the narratives others hold about us, we can influence the stories we tell about ourselves and those we cherish.

We own the copyright to our stories. We must rework and rewrite the storylines that define our identity.

Stories help us get to know each other better

I think it’s good that we share our stories when we’re comfortable with it. It helps us to get to know each other on a deeper level.

When we share our stories, they remind us of the humanity in each other. When we take the time to understand each other’s stories, we become more forgiving and have more compassion and empathy for each other.

Regards

Emsia

Upon arriving for a short visit to South Africa, my former Maths teacher, Elsa, invited my mom and me to her farm. Accompanied by several women who played significant roles in my childhood, we sang Christmas carols and shared personal anecdotes that underscored the grace we had experienced. During difficult times, amazing grace manifests itself through people, opportunities, and situations.

Elsa’s story of immense grace

Elsa’s story of immense grace struck me. Her farm had tragically burned down shortly before our visit. She wasn’t at home during the fire. Numerous people offered help in various ways. Remarkably, only the hectare of land housing her farmhouse and farm workers’ houses remained untouched by the flames. She had lost her husband to cancer, and her farmhouse carries a lifetime of stories and memories shared with him. These shared stories shaped the focus of my thoughts on the grace in my life.

My mom

Circumstances granted me the privilege of spending time with my mom. Age has a peculiar manner of highlighting the impermanence of life and the grace found in moments spent with your parents. Seeing all the structures built by my dad, who died 25 years ago, two days after Christmas, highlighted this realisation for me. In the shade of the camel-thorn tree of my mom’s garden, we reminisced about anecdotes from the past. I am grateful for my joyous childhood years spent in the Kalahari. You don’t get to choose your parents or the place of your upbringing. There is enormous grace in a happy childhood.

My sister and her kids

Upon learning of my visit to Cape Town in early December, my sister’s daughter, Marga, decided to sell her Matriekbaai ticket. She gave up a week with school friends to celebrate the end of her school years, in exchange for time with family. We all miss our annual holidays together. We saw this as an opportunity to visit our favourite spots and enjoy the Cape Town sun and sea.

From Blouberg, we marvelled at the iconic silhouette of Table Mountain, creating a picturesque backdrop to our time together. Jacques encouraged Marga and Altus to brave the cold Atlantic waters. Exploring the V&A Waterfront, we admired the traditional and colourful South African Christmas decorations and dances.

We also took the opportunity to visit Christo’s student hangouts and enjoy the beautifully decorated cakes from Jacques’ business, The Cinnamon Club.

Jacques

Jacques finished his student years and was ready to start working during the pandemic. As an entrepreneur, he decided to start the Cinnamon Club, a bakery focusing on vegan and gluten-free baked goods. Despite many economic and electricity challenges in South Africa, the business did well. Jacques is now ready to expand to business premises at Woodstock Exchange. I am grateful to have been able to share with him the moment he received the key to the premises. He has received so much grace in his business, and I wish him continued success.

Christo

Christo was halfway through his 12th grade when we moved to Switzerland. Only two months after he started his university journey, the Covid pandemic hit the world. His student years were particularly challenging. Attending his graduation filled me with gratitude and emotion. This achievement would not have been possible without the support of many people in his life. I see a lot of grace in the individuals who shared this journey with him. He had the love, support and encouragement of his girlfriend, Simone. Moreover, he has supportive engineering student friends who lightened the academic demands with humour and social distractions.

I am grateful for the partners in parenting and that I could celebrate the occasion with Christo’s dad and his family.

Partners in Parenting

Despite our decision to part ways years ago, Gert and I maintained our commitment to co-parenting. Our partnership has expanded to include four parents with distinct personalities, perspectives, and individual realities. It was sometimes challenging, but we always acted with the boys’ best interests at heart. Nevertheless, I am convinced that having four parents has significantly enhanced the boys’ lives, broadening their perspectives in numerous ways. I am sincerely grateful to Charl for his rationality, insight and wisdom in raising the boys.

Jacques lived with Gert and Denise for a long time during the pandemic. Denise’s wisdom and Gert’s knowledge and experience as an entrepreneur and businessman gave direction and clarity to Jacques’ life and career.

Christo gave the following acknowledgement in his thesis.  To my parents, Gert and Emsia, and their partners, Denise and Charl, thank you for providing me with the opportunity to be able to write this acknowledgement as I prepare myself for the final submission of my undergraduate degree. Thank you Dad for always keeping me on my toes and thinking critically. Thank you Mom for always being available when I want to phone, and helping me with life’s problems as I become an adult.

A new year

We all enter a new year with a clean slate. Just like other years, this year will also bring challenges. We don’t know its nature and extent. However, I walk into it confidently because I know that the grace received in my life has consistently exceeded the challenges.

May it be a beautiful and graceful new year.

Regards

Emsia