Before departure - Letters Home

Challenges and miracles during our exodus

06/10/2020 emsia.kruger

When the Israelites were in their exodus from Egypt through the desert for forty years, the Lord led them with a very clever plan to the Promised Land. He kept them close to Him and helped them stand together and move forward. His plan included many challenges and many miracles.

Since we left Welgemoed, we have also experienced many challenges, miracles, and angels on our path. After we left Welgemoed, we took a short break before Charl flew back to Zurich and Zander and I drove long distances to say farewell to the people and places we love.

BMW with flat tyre between Prieska and Griekwastad

BMW does not like dirt roads

On the way to Kathu, I consulted Google Maps about the roads in the Northern Cape and took a shortcut, little knowing that it was a dirt road. The BMW does not like dirt roads. On a late Sunday morning, on a rocky road without a cell phone signal between Prieska and Griekwastad, the BMW’s tyre bursts! We were stranded because the BMW had run-flat tires and no spare wheel.

Just as my panic attack was gaining momentum, a large tractor with three workers appeared like angels from heaven. I climbed with my computer, handbag, and passports on the tractor, and Zander followed. When we reached the farmhouse, the farmer used the landline to help me order a new tyre from Prieska. I could also use the phone to inform my family about our predicament.

Brother-in-law Andre informed me the condition of the dirt road was too bad to drive further with the BMW. He arranged with a farmer in the Griekwastad area to fetch us with his flatbed trailer before nightfall. That evening we were able to lay our weary heads on soft pillows in a guest house in Griekwastad. All I could mumble before I slowly closed my eyes was, Thank you, Father, for all the Northern Cape angels who came to our rescue with so much love and care on their precious Sunday!

The Kalahari was like an oasis

Being with my mom in Kathu and Ansa and Andre on the farm was like a leafy green oasis with lovely palm trees in the desert after weeks of packing boxes and the dirt road experience. Our cups overflowed with love, care and pampering, and nothing could bother us. I am so grateful that Christo and Michaela were also able to join us. With the large camel thorn trees and golden-orange sunsets as a backdrop, we had a good time, ate, laughed, and enjoyed each other’s company. To drive away from there was very painful.

In Pretoria to pick up visas

After consulting on the safest way to Pretoria to pick up our visas, a school friend added me to a few ride-safe WhatsApp groups. They came to our rescue when we could avoid riots on our planned routes. The visa application process was a large stone that could potentially overturn the Swiss apple cart, but fortunately, everything went smoothly with Swiss precision.

Time with Jacques and Candice in Parys

After the visas, we picked up Jacques and our cousin Candice in Potchefstroom and had a wonderful time together in Parys along the rippling waters of the Vaal River. Jacques spoiled us with tasty meals he prepared. As an old Kovsie, the entire Free State landscape brought back fond memories from my student days.

Jacques, Zander and Candice in Parys, Free State

After saying goodbye to Jacques, we headed to our nephew Justin in Sandton. He showed us the lights of Sandton and helped us get safely on the Gautrain for our last ride to OR Tambo airport.

Our day of departure has arrived. I carry all the challenges and precious moments like gems in my heart and just prayed that we would finally get to Zurich after the long journey. Like Moses, I feared that I would not be able to see the promised land. I have so many dreams of how I want to spend precious time with friends and family, experience moments and build memories in Switzerland.

I am grateful to my travel buddy, who had all the experiences with me. He knows his mom well and has offered incredible support with much love and humour.

Kind regards

Emsia

Letting go is crucial for new beginnings

30/09/2020 emsia.kruger

According to experts, change consists of three distinct phases. The first phase is the finishing, parting, and closing. It brings loss and relief. Second is the in-between phase, like the trapeze artist in the circus letting go on one side without certainty that the bar will be on the other end at the right time and place. The third phase is the new beginning. It usually brings an element of excitement but also uncertainty about my ability to handle the uncertain situation.

Each of these phases has its challenges and emotions that go along with it. The first phase is saying goodbye and letting go. Successful new beginnings are dependent on proper closure, and closure involves letting go.

My haven

I must let go of our house of twenty years. This house is my haven when the storms rage. With my first view of the lovely garden and dollhouse under the big shade trees, I knew this was where I wanted to raise my kids. Here my children took their first steps. We had numerous birthday parties, played for hours on the lawn or in the pool and curled up in front of the fireplace in winter.

My garden

In the garden are many monuments in the form of plant cuttings and seedlings received as gifts. It recognizes everyone who has contributed to the colourful picture, even though many are no longer with us.

Until recently, a door carried artwork created by a three-year-old on a door. Young Christo drew it with a permanent marker pen while we waited for his dad to come home so we could go on vacation. A piece of the blind in the teen room was still missing. The explanation for the disappearance, by a wise-nose teenager, was “the spontaneous disintegration of solid matter”. However, after years of wondering, I resolved the mystery. A cricket ball had gone off course while being played with illegally in the garage.

Memories in each room

In each room are memories of moments that are part of my life and past. I think with a smile how we played riding the horse in the living room with the little ones on my back. Later, they had sleepover parties with their friends, and we ate pizza, built puzzles, or played board games at the fireplace.

Saying farewell to the neighbours

We are lucky to have wonderful neighbours, with George as a friend for Zander as a bonus. We met Fritz and Aletta in the street and immediately knew we had something in common with our strollers containing baby boys. My dreams for the boys of having fun, playing, and sleepovers played out as envisioned. The tree next to the backyard wall provided convenient access to the neighbours. Initially, George’s fear of the big brothers, with the braces on their teeth, made him reluctant to visit! Fortunately, he outgrew the fear, and the two friends’ farewell broke our hearts.

The house is still on the market, and we are waiting for the right new owner. This space, which served as a haven for twenty years, is now ready to become someone else’s. As with everything here on earth, it was only temporarily lent to us, and now it is time for us to move on. It is now someone else’s turn to make the place a haven and build beautiful memories.

Kind regards

Emsia

My second grappling with languages

22/09/2020 emsia.kruger

Looking back on my life, I realise there have been numerous people and opportunities sent across my path that could have been excellent teachers if I had just seized these opportunities. My dad was an expert in the technical field and with repairs. If I had only paid more attention, I would have created better plans to resolve my maintenance problems. I would also have had fewer cooking failures as a young married woman if I had helped my mom more in the kitchen.

As a Kalahari kid, I never learned to speak English properly.

I can think of many examples, but one challenge that visits me for a second time is my lack of language skills. As a Kalahari kid, I never learned to speak English properly. Reading English books was perceived as a nuisance that interfered with my precious social time. Those days we spoke Afrikaans even in the English class, so why would I bother? If I could only have a quick look into the future, I would have changed my attitude!

The London opportunity came like a thief in the night

Language-wise, things went smoothly for a while. After school, I went to an Afrikaans university and then started working at an Afrikaans office with Afrikaans clients. The London opportunity crept up on me like a thief in the night. Hubby wanted to complete his Master’s degree at the London Business School, and I applied for a job at the London PwC office.

We boarded the plane for my first international flight. We travelled very lightly with just a handful of possessions for two years of studying and working in London. Upon our arrival, we stopped at the London office to finalise things for my start at the office. The shock of my life arrived when they informed me in a very polite British manner that there was no way they could expose me to their clients with such poor English!

I still get nightmare flashbacks of myself in a red London phone booth

Here we were in London, hubby must commence his studies, and I did not have a job! I still get nightmare flashbacks of myself sweating in a typical red London phone booth. The pounds and pennies fell through the payphone as I tried to convince one recruitment agency after the other, in my limited English and very Afrikaans accent, of my financial knowledge and skills.

The Lord must have felt sorry for me and sent a team of angels to my rescue. With my self-esteem in pieces, an unexpected message from PwC informed me that they would allow me another interview, but this time for an internal role. Internally, they might be able to accommodate me.

A fellow South African came to my rescue

My interviewer was, fortunately, a fellow South African who felt sorry for me. I am grateful to have ended up in a team responsible for the roll-out of audit software, which we have already used in South Africa. The team I worked in consisted of quite a few people from other countries like Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.

Initially, my colleagues and I struggled to understand each other. For all my sins, I ended up in a role where I had to present classroom training on the use of audit software. I also had to assist staff members with their software problems over the phone as part of a helpline.

I was known as the French girl because my English was impossible to understand

My first training session went terrible, and the evaluation feedback damaged my already bruised ego. The people who contacted the helpline started asking for the French girl because my English was impossible to understand. There was no chance of giving up, and my English slowly improved. I knew things were turning around when I suddenly started praying in English one night before bed.

The surprise on my colleagues’ faces after my first presentation back in South Africa was good for my ego. I am very grateful for this painful learning experience. The world has changed rapidly since my school days, and I would not have been able to make any progress in my career without this English language proficiency. I was hoping to pick up the British accent, but unfortunately, the Kalahari is far too much in my blood.

I have to pass a German exam as a prerequisite for my Swiss visa!

Charl finally obtained his Swiss work visa, and Zander and I were able to apply for our Swiss residence visas. I was devastated when I read on the visa application that German, French or Italian language skills are a prerequisite for the Swiss visa. They introduced the requirement in January 2019 and gave new applicants a year to pass an A1 German language test to extend the visa. This situation feels like déjà vu!

I am not good with languages. I downloaded German children’s books from the internet and read about the “Easter Bunny Harry” (Easter Bunny Harry) and “Wenn es Sterne regnet” (When it rains stars).
My language brain pathways are overgrown. That is the reason for my headache after a German study session. I see this as just one of many challenges, and I will not allow it to overwhelm me. If you see me again, “dann werde ich sehr gut deutsch sprechen”!
Kind regards

Kind regards

Emsia

Saying goodbye to friends is tough

15/09/2020 emsia.kruger

Zander is looking forward to the Swiss experience, but the thought of saying farewell to his friends saddens him. Many of them have a special place in his and my heart.

Abby

His special girlfriend is Abby. She has a smile in her mischievous blue eyes. Like Zander, she has two big brothers. She, therefore, understands video games, teen music, language, and behaviour. At age four, they started with Grade 0 together at Welgemoed Pre-Primary.

When we arrived at the new school, everything was unfamiliar, and I could see tears welling up in his eyes. Abby appeared like an angel, took Zander’s hand, and asked if he wanted to play with her. Their friendship began at a fragile moment for both of us. They have moved from the sandpit to video games and ice skating, but Abby remains his special girlfriend.

George

You can consider yourself extremely lucky if you have a neighbour like George. They are the same age, in the same class and play together in the same rugby team. They socialise almost daily, except for exam times, during which Aletta and I both hope and pray we cannot hear each other. Together their creativity has no end.

One Saturday morning, they threw burning fireworks into the toilet, which blew away part of the bowl. At George’s house, Zander learns about building structures, barbecuing, and sisters. The birth of Roxy’s most precious little puppies was a highlight. At our house, George gets informed about bigger brother-related things and technology.

Leaving highlights the preciousness of friendships

Leaving your country makes you think about the preciousness of all the special friendships and relationships in your life. The quality of our relationships has a significant impact on our emotional well-being. I cherish moments where I felt a connection between souls and someone who understood my heart. The enjoyment of togetherness lightens our burdens in challenging times.

We are planning a farewell party so that Zander and his friends can have a great time in our garden for the last time. I will say goodbye to my friends individually over a coffee or wine. The most challenging farewell is when Zander and I visit my family in the Kalahari and Jacques in Potchefstroom before we board the plane to Switzerland.

Last glass of wine looking over Table Mountain

New friendships

Friendships and relationships are something I am concerned about when we leave. On the one hand, I need to find creative ways to maintain my current precious relationships. On the other hand, I need to establish new friendships with people with different backgrounds than mine. As an introvert, it is easier said than done. Charl will hopefully meet friends in his work situation and Zander at school. However, I will have to force myself to be part of opportunities where I can meet other people.

I understand the Swiss people are private. German is, of course, still a high hurdle that I will have to jump over before I can consider Swiss friends. I will initially have to reach out to other parents at Zander’s new school. We are, after all, in the same boat.

Kind regards

Emsia

We need to get rid of all the stuff!

09/09/2020 emsia.kruger

We tend to gather a lot of stuff over a lifetime. These items disappear conveniently behind closed doors, and we forget about them. Like a deferred appointment, our belongings are waiting for us. However, a move to Switzerland that forced us to simplify, arrived sooner than we thought or hoped.

Jacques and Christo help with the heavy items

Entrepreneurial skills came in handy

Jacques utilised his entrepreneurial skills for the large items. He advertised the items online and handled his potential customers in a very professional and convincing way. When unsure how to operate the electrical appliances, he used his research and technical skills to figure it out.

I still smile when I think about the sale of a coffee machine, which Jacques could not get to operate in time. Jacques played open cards with the potential buyer about his predicament. Fortunately, the buyer was patient, and he and Jacques sat cross-legged on the floor and figured it out together. Smiling faces and a high-five half an hour later were my sign they had an operating coffee machine. The buyer walked away with a discount and a pack of coffee beans for his patience.

We met amazing people in the process

The most amazing people showed up. They shared personal stories about why they were looking for a specific item. The middle-aged man who bought the rowboat wanted it for his first holiday with his new wife and her boys. We understood. The friendly man who bought the bicycle planned to start exercising with his wife. Our discount was our form of support for this significant cause.

Second-hand sales market

We entered the second-hand sales market for smaller items. We arrived, prepared with a bottle of coffee and a packet of rusks at the flea market at seven on a Saturday morning. Some of the people negotiated seriously because every cent matters. Others returned a second time and told us how they or their children enjoyed the items they bought the first time. It was an enriching and unforgettable experience.

It is hard to let go of items with emotional value

Some items were harder to sell because of the emotional value and the stories I carry in my heart. An example of this was Christo’s blue case with a set of plastic trains and red tracks that he loved. When a three-year-old boy came to sit next to me and started playing with the trains, I was ready to let it go.

New grandparents bought the Christmas tree with all the lights and decorations for their new grandchild’s first Christmas. Many grandparents bought Lego sets and puzzles for their grandchildren as Christmas gifts. They hoped the new generation would exchange their screens for proper toys.

Enjoying supper while surrounded by items for sale

The process was a good start in our mission to simplify our lives. In future, we only want to buy something when we need it. If we do not use an item, we should give it away. We want to focus on experiences rather than possessions.

The following statements express it well:

“We achieve perfection, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away” and “The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so the necessary may speak ”.

Kind regards

Emsia

Big, difficult decisions in life

30/08/2020 emsia.kruger

30 October 2018

Big, difficult decisions often cross your life path unexpectedly. They cause a change in direction. Their impact on you is significant, but also on people close to you. The big, difficult decisions cause nights of lying awake in bed and hours of listing and analysing the pros and cons. The decision is ultimately made based on a knowing deep inside you. The words of this knowing are limited, which makes it challenging to explain the decision.

Such a big and difficult decision has now come our way. An opportunity presented itself for Charl to work in Switzerland for a few years. The impact of this is significant.

The impact on my sons

The biggest is for sure on Jacques and Christo. Jacques has at least found his feet as a student at North-West University, but Christo must complete his final school year and then commence with his student years at Stellenbosch University. My sons are independent young men, but my mother-heart is bleeding for them.

The impact on my family

The impact on my mother and sister, Ansa, is also huge. With them living in the Kalahari and us in the Western Cape, distance is no longer a stranger. Our annual get-togethers, sometimes in the Cape and sometimes in the Kalahari, are my yearly highlight. That is the week we forget about our responsibilities, have fun, talk non-stop, laugh, and drink ginger tea in the garden. That week Ansa’s farm children learn more about city life, or my city children learn about farm life, depending on where we visit.

Cell phone technology enables us to stay in contact. We plan to stick to our rhythm of hanging out in South Africa once a year, and hopefully, they can visit us once in Switzerland. Our move creates an excellent opportunity for Ansa’s children to have an international flight and a European experience.

Spending time on the farm in the Kalahari

Opportunity

Charl is very excited about the work opportunity. Zander is sad saying goodbye to his friends and rugby. I am concerned about his adaptability as an Afrikaans boy in an international school. However, I know that children are much more adaptable than we think. Charl will start working in Zurich early in the new year, but Zander and I will join him much later so that I to be with Christo for most of his final school year.

It saddens me to leave my family and wonderful friends behind. We have built precious friendships over the past twenty years around the sports field and after church on Sundays. How do I say farewell to our home and its lovely garden where my children grew up?

October is the most beautiful month

My dad always said: “October is the most beautiful month of all!”. At first, I thought it was because of Spring, but I understand better now. It was the thirteenth-check month at work. October also turned out to be a red-letter month for me. On a late Thursday afternoon in October, my life journey began. The Swiss opportunity came knocking on our door in October, and next October, I will most likely be celebrating my fiftieth birthday in Switzerland.

It is a difficult decision, but we must seize the opportunity. I am sorry about the impact on the people I love. They do not even have a choice in the matter. We do not know how it will turn out, but we know that such an experience will contribute to our personal growth and perspective on a changing world.

Writing helps me process change

The best way for me to process change is to write about it. I realised this twenty-five years ago when we worked in London for two years, and it was my only affordable way to stay in touch with my family and friends. In those years, we used ordinary letters in an envelope with a postage stamp. We could still rely on the South African postal service.

I promise to be in contact and share more about our inner and outer journeys.

Kind regards

Emsia