We all would like to have friends but are not always willing to put in the effort and time to form friendships. In a new country, I soon realised how much courage it takes to reach out to a stranger. However, a simple conversation is required to initialise the move from stranger to friend.

The value of friendship

All people need connection, and we find it in different relationships.

Friendship is a relationship that plays a significant role in our well-being. Healthy and supportive friendships improve our self-confidence and self-worth. It helps us deal with serious life events such as change or loss. Moreover, it reinforces our sense of belonging and encourages us to make changes when necessary. It also allows us to play a role in someone else’s life story.

Reach out

One often underestimates how much someone appreciates it when you reach out to them. Last year, a mom in Zander’s grade group, Darja, sent me an unexpected message. She asked if I would consider being a grade group parent with her and handling communication between the school and parents. She pointed out the opportunity it creates for us to get to know each other better. Initially, I doubted my abilities but knew I had to give it a chance.

She will never realise what a great favour she has done me. Her action inspired me to reach out more to other people because I experienced the positivity of it. The more people you know and feel comfortable talking to, the greater sense of belonging you experience.

Get involved

I make friends most easily by doing something with someone. Getting involved as a volunteer creates opportunities to meet other people. Working together on a common goal is an excellent way to get to know people better and identify common interests.

At the international school, most families stay between 3 and 5 years. The school has many structures and processes to help people integrate and cope with the change. The Parent Association organises events where parents can work with other parents as volunteers. They also coordinate clubs where parents with common interests can enjoy activities together.

It took a lot of courage to put my name on the activity list and attend an event for the first time. I initially joined the tennis club and the refugee camp volunteer group. Fortunately, the other moms made me feel at home. I experienced a lot of positivity in being together and less alone in my challenges of adapting to a new country.

After some time, I was willing to take up the South African country representative role. The South African moms meet regularly for coffee, and we put together a country stall at the International Festival.

Invest in friendships and relationships

It’s easy to be so focused on work and family that we don’t try and make time for friendships. I have been guilty of it for many years. However, something drastic, like moving to another country, opened my eyes.

Distance and a change in environment forced me to look at relationships differently and put more effort into them. One must think outside the box and find creative ways to maintain the relationship. Some friends enjoy being active together, and others like visiting new places. I do online Bible study with some friends, and I keep in touch with others through regular coffee visits, phone calls and letters.

We must invest time in the people who are precious to us. Its connection and positive effects are always worth the sacrifice and investment.

A recent friendship gift

I recently received an Afrikaans-speaking friend in Switzerland as a precious gift. We have so much in common that I know Marna is God send.

Once a week, we go on a day trip and explore Switzerland together. It is an exciting way to grow the friendship. I value having a friend in another country who understands my culture, speaks my language, and has similar values and interests. It is a positive way to share the foreign experience, joys, and challenges.

Looking back on my life, I can see how the right people crossed my path at the right time. Although, in different ways and times, each has played a significant role in my life. In a previous letter, I celebrated the friends who eased my motherhood turbulence. I now understand that each was a gift given to me with a purpose.

Kind regards

Emsia