Additions to my London memory box

Additions to my London memory box

I had mixed feelings about Charl’s suggestion to visit London during the Christmas holiday week. There are so many places I would like to show Zander. However, this would mean that I would have to open the London memory box that I have stored very deep away for the past 25 years. It was time.

London was a period of growth (1995 -1997)

My two years in London in my early twenties were a period of growth. This Afrikaans-speaking Kalahari girl had to learn to speak proper English and adapt to a global city with grey and cold weather. Sometimes I stood under the SA flag on Trafalgar square and prayed for strength for the day while the tears ran down my cheeks. I found solace in the Kiosk owner across the office’s “Good morning my, Love.”

It is clear how my London experience was a preparation for my life path. In London, I really got to know myself and my Creator. I learned that we have much more inner strength and perseverance than we think. The experience ignited my flame for my travelling, interest in other cultures, and writing passions. I learned the necessity to get involved and be open to new things to integrate into a new environment. The experience allowed me to perform in a London theatre as part of a charity Pantomime production.

Returning to South Africa after London

Our period in London concluded in September 1997, shortly after Lady Diana’s tragic death. Full of hope and dreams, we boarded the plane back to South Africa. However, the adjustment back in South Africa was much more complicated than we expected. We, and many things in South Africa, have changed significantly in these two years. We were gifted two beautiful little boys, but our marriage began to show significant cracks and ended in 2005.

God blessed me with a new life partner and a third son Zander. Zander also enjoys exploring new places and cultures, and the prospect of a London visit during Christmas and New Year’s celebrations at Edinburgh’s Hogmanay excited him.

London Christmas break (2022)

In Switzerland, we watch British television, and the language, culture and humour are familiar. We watched the entire Crown series and other British Netflix series like Outlander. Britain has a significant impact and influence on South Africa and consequently feels like a family member.

London and I have changed a lot in the last 25 years, but there was a familiarity in our reunion. The grey weather and famous historical landmarks brought fond memories. All the Christmas lights in Oxford Street and Covent Garden created excitement. We bought an English Scrabble in Hamley’s toy store, which Zander used to show off. Charl and I still tend to think in Afrikaans.

We experienced a typical British comedy theatre production in the West End and ate traditional fish and chips with plenty of salt, vinegar, and tomato sauce. The Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park was a spectacle. We visited Buckingham Palace to see the Changing of the Guards. However, officials cancelled it due to the rain. We also spent a day with friends of Charl whom we had not seen in South Africa for twenty years.

However, the day after Christmas, Charl had flu symptoms. After serious consideration, we decided to come home. Zander and I were sick with flu before our holiday, and we understood how bad and fragile a person feels. We were disappointed to miss the ABBA concert and the Edinburgh Hogmanay but had compassion with him.

We brought British traditions home with us

When we got home, Zander suggested we make the English tradition of a High Afternoon Tea part of our holiday routine. I decided it was time for him to learn some cooking and baking skills, especially since he is permanently hungry. As a result, we spent the rest of the holiday eating tea and scones, while playing Scrabble.

I am grateful for the opportunity that forced me to open my London memory box again and build new memories with Charl and Zander.

Kind regards

Emsia

Choose to see potential and possibility

Choose to see potential and possibility

I recently received an unexpected message from a journalist from the South African magazine, Rooi Rose. She was planning an article on ways to celebrate the many facets of life.

She needed a few words from me about celebrating family. Her request spoke to several of my passions.

Dewitt Jones, a National Geographic photographer

Her inspiration for the article was a video by Dewitt Jones, a National Geographic photographer – Celebrate what is right with the world.

Ten years ago, I saw my first Dewitt Jones video – There is more than one right answer. I’ve watched it probably fifty times since then and used it while facilitating strategic planning sessions for organizations. On a personal level, Dewitt was like a mentor to me, and his wisdom and insight spoke to me.

As a small boy, Dewitt Jones found inspiration from National Geographic magazines. Beautiful photos showed him the possibilities that the world has to offer. In his role as a photographer, he learned that one must use creativity and change lenses and perspectives until one sees potential in a situation. He said,

Through that lens of Celebration, I saw that there is far more right with the world than wrong with it. Always something to celebrate and be grateful for.

I share some of Dewitt’s wisdom that speaks to me.

We must learn to see possibilities and potential in situations

As humans, we tend to be quick to find fault. In addition, the media also constantly confronts us with fear, scarcity, and competition. This tendency later affects the attitude and way in which we look at the world around us.

We must choose to see possibility and potential and believe that it is there. If we believe that the right things and people will be there at the right time, we will start to notice them. Once we begin to see possibilities, it gives us the energy to find solutions and go through change.

Change creates momentum and opportunity. We cannot control change but must harness its energy to take us where we want to be.

We must find joy in our day job

It is inspirational to watch people who work with passion and joy. Some people are lucky to find work aligned with their love and interest. They get their energy from what they do.

However, many others perform a day job they took out of need rather than choice. Some people manage to carry out their day job with a positive attitude because they look through a lens of gratitude and focus on the opportunity of making a difference.

Looking at situations the right way is only possible if you start each day with the necessary energy and passion. We must, therefore, make time for those things that give us joy and energy so that they can spill over into our day job.

Opportunities and challenges dance together

The request to write something about how we celebrate our family forced me to reflect on the past four years. I have concluded that opportunities and challenges dance together. An opportunity came our way but challenged us tremendously as a family. However, if I use the right lens, I can see how the challenges have created opportunities for us as individuals and as a family. I share below my contribution to the article for the January 2023 edition of the Rooi Rose magazine.

We celebrate each other as individuals and family

An exceptional job opportunity in Switzerland crossed our path in 2019. However, opportunities and challenges dance together. Charl had to adapt to a new German-speaking work environment, and Zander had to an international school with German and Spanish as new languages. I had to leave my two eldest sons and family behind in South Africa. Jacques, a second-year student, and Christo, a matriculant, had to learn to stand on their own two feet.

Distance and challenges helped us look at each other through new lenses. With a fresh perspective, we now see inner strength and perseverance instead of shortcomings. I tell my loved ones how proud I am when I see how they use their creativity to see possibilities and use their talents to make a difference. My sons say more often, “I appreciate it. I miss Mom. I love Mom.”

I share my heart in my letters home to family and friends and enjoy the conversations, messages, photos, and music I receive in return. We got to know and appreciate each other on a deeper level. I consider the warm voice full of the love of my mom and listening to worship services of RSG with her as a privilege. The sense of humour of my sister is medicine for my soul.

Touch is my love language, and my heart rejoiced when I could hold my sons tightly against me again after the Covid period at the airport. We went to South Africa with suitcases full of gifts specially chosen for everyone. We celebrate each other by sharing precious traditions and stories and having fun together. We find joy in discovering new places and things together and thus build memories.

Family members are supporters and witnesses of our unique life journeys. We are grateful for and celebrate each other as individuals and family!

regards

Emsia

Advent light in the darkness

Advent light in the darkness

The winter months in Switzerland are cold, long, and dark. The news colours the coming winter’s picture even darker because of Europe’s dependency on Russian energy and the diminishing reserves.

However, I have no control over these things and try to focus on the light instead. Over the years, the Swiss have developed many traditions to create light and cosiness during winter. We make a point of seeking out the light and activities creating energy.

Rabechilbi in Richterswil

In November, the Swiss celebrate Räbechilbi (turnip festival). We attended the biggest festival in Richterswil. Residents carved designs on the turnip walls and decorated their balconies and gardens with turnip lanterns.

At the start of the festivities, we enjoyed mulled wine and garlic bread while listening to the town brass band. When the organizers turned off the town’s lights at 18h00, the turnip lanterns transformed the village into a wonderland. The parade, in which the children also took part with their homemade turnip lanterns, took our breath away.

Advent season

Lucy Christmas lights in Bahnhofstrasse

The tradition of switching on “Lucy” Christmas lights in Bahnhofstrasse kicks off the Advent season in Zurich. On the last Thursday in November, many people gather to see how they turn on the 23,000 light crystals spread over a kilometre. Since we have lived in Zurich, we have attended this event every year. All the lights, together with the cheerful atmosphere, ignite hope and positivity inside me.

Christmas markets and Fondue

The Christmas market opening and the switching on of the Christmas lights happen on the same night. There are several Christmas markets in Zurich, the largest of which is close to Lake Zurich. Around 100 market stalls form a cosy Christmas village against the spectacular backdrop of the Opera House. People socialize around fires while drinking mulled wine and enjoying street food.

Like every previous year, a friend invited Zander to an ice skating birthday party on the last Saturday in November at the Dolder open-air ice-skating rink. It is one of the biggest in Europe, and they skate around a giant Christmas tree with beautiful lights.

We already have a tradition that Charl and I visit the Christmas market while we wait for Zander. Afterwards, we go to Chäsalp for fondue to celebrate Charl’s birthday. In winter, temporary wooden huts arise for people to enjoy fondue and raclette. Cheese is part of Swiss culture.

Advent wreath

The Advent wreath is a significant part of the Advent season. There are a variety of advent wreaths for sale and many opportunities to make your own. The wreath and candles are full of symbolism linked to the Christmas season.

The wreath, made of various evergreens, signifies continuous life. The circle of the wreath, which has no beginning or end, symbolizes the soul’s immortality and the eternal life we find in Christ.

The four candles represent the four weeks of Advent and each of them has a special meaning. They symbolize hope, faith, joy, and peace.  Every Sunday, one candle is lit. They shine brightly despite the darkness and remind us that Jesus came as the light of the world.

Light in the darkness

We all experience darkness somewhere in our lives, and many people feel like the darkness in their situations and the world want to overwhelm them. My wish for the Christmas season is that we will continue to look for the light in the darkness. Furthermore, I wish we could bring light to others so they can see opportunities and find hope and positivity despite life’s challenges.

Happy Christmas season to you! May it be a period full of light.

Regards

Emsia

Fascinating technological developments

Fascinating technological developments

It is hard for my children to believe that the launch of everyday items like personal computers, cell phones, video games, and digital wristwatches only happened during my lifetime.

I wonder in what way will current technological developments bring change in my children’s lives. Fascinating technological developments crossed my path recently.

Electric cars

In Switzerland, the increase in electric cars is accelerating at a high rate. Currently, 26 % of newly registered cars are electric rechargeable models. The goal is to increase this percentage to 50% in 2025. The government’s proposed environmental legislation to reduce CO2 significantly drives this goal.

As a result, we see more Tesla vehicles on the road. One of Charl’s colleagues with a Tesla uses the option where the vehicle drives itself. He admitted that it was difficult to hand over control. However, the opportunity it creates for him to be able to work on his way to the office makes this option worthwhile.

The latest trend is also to lease vehicles rather than buy them. Leasing allows one to drive a brand-new model covered by the manufacturer’s warranty. It also creates the possibility of travelling in a more expensive, better-equipped vehicle than you would otherwise be able to afford.

Hospitality industry

A friend, Linda, recently spent the night at Zurich airport to catch an early connecting flight. She stayed over at the Alpine Garden – Capsule Hotel. The concept amazed me.

Guests spend the night in a capsule. Your bed is for your privacy, but the rest of the beautifully decorated areas are for shared use. The bathroom even has a jacuzzi. They have automated all processes, including check-in, unlocking your capsule with a code, and getting breakfast.

I suspect we can expect many future changes in the hospitality industry. There is a much greater focus on automation, sensitivity to environmental impact and effectiveness. The Airbnb concept, introduced in 2008, was already a different way of thinking.

Cryptocurrency

Nowadays, many young people invest their money in cryptocurrency (crypto). My generation saw property, shares, or pension funds as investment opportunities.

Crypto is a digital payment system that does not rely on banks to verify transactions. Instead of physical money exchanged in the real world, cryptocurrency payments exist simply as digital entries to an online database that describe specific transactions.

Bitcoin was the first decentralized cryptocurrency. Since March 2022, more than 9,000 other cryptocurrencies have been in the market. Crypto fluctuates a lot, and I must confess that my nerves are not strong enough for this type of investment.

Metaverse

The Metaverse concept is one that really fascinates me, and I recently got a glimpse of it.

As I understand it, Metaverse is a shared, online space where users interact with each other and computer-generated objects and avatars. It is a virtual world that exists alongside the physical world. It creates a new way for people to use the internet and changes web content from 2D to three-dimensional objects. Users will have a visual and physical experience by using virtual reality headsets. Metaverse is, therefore, a place where virtual 3D worlds integrate.

Metaverse will have its own economic system and currency. People can own metaverse property and design spaces based on creativity and imagination. In the Metaverse world, the system will use NFTs as digital representations of tangible items, such as works of art and other assets. NFTs will improve the buying and selling process and reduce fraud risk.

Zander and I visited an exhibition at the Zurich airport, where we could experience a virtual world and NFTs on display.

It’s hard for me to wrap my head around this futuristic concept. Christo and Zander enjoyed playing computer games such as Minecraft, where players build virtual items for their avatars to use. For me, this is the closest example I have to visualize Metaverse.

Technological innovation, like art, is a product of the human imagination and impacts society significantly. Even though I sometimes struggle to keep up with technology, the social impact of these changes fascinates me tremendously.

regards

Emsia

My roots in Kathu in the Kalahari

My roots in Kathu in the Kalahari

Zander recently had to write an essay about an experience from one of his parents’ childhoods. I told him the story about the first significant change in my life. I was five years old when our entire town had to move to a newly developing town.

Big news brought significant change

I was born in a small mining town called Sishen. My dad worked at the Iscor iron ore mine in the Kalahari. The community was small, everyone knew each other, and the red mine heaps were part of our background.

In the early 70s, everyone who worked at the mine received news that would change the entire town’s future. The Sishen houses and community centre were in a high iron ore-rich area, and people had to move. Iscor would develop a new mining town called Kathu in a beautiful camel-thorn forest. Kathu means “town under the trees”. The beautiful surroundings, together with new mine houses, made it attractive.

We moved to Kathu a year before I had to go to school. The town was still in an early stage of development. For our children, it was paradise. There were piles of red sand and trenches in which we could hide. After bath time, a layer of sand remained in the bath.

I went to grade 1 in 1976. The primary school was already inaugurated but still under construction. I remember how we practised athletics on the red sand roads with bare feet. The hot sand and the thorns of the camel thorn trees created additional challenges.

Iscor developed Kathu from scratch

We grew up in a developing town with many new things and places. Iscor has put a lot of effort into developing sports facilities. There is a beautiful Olympic standard swimming pool where we spent a lot of time after school and the lovely tennis courts between the camel thorn trees where we held tournaments during our holidays.

Kathu still boasts one of South Africa’s most beautiful golf courses. Part of it lies within the camel thorn forest on the edge of the desert and rates as one of the top 20 golf courses in the country. It has a spacious clubhouse with a beautiful restaurant, where you can watch the golden-orange sunset behind the trees while enjoying local quality meat.

The inauguration of each place was a big celebration. I can well remember when Kathu got its first big supermarket, Checkers. During opening week, we devoured bags full of Pick-a-Mix chocolate. A fashion show opened the first women’s boutique. There were also two other clothing stores, but most mothers had sewing skills and bought materials from Naald in ‘n Hooimied for unique creations.

Kathu today

Kathu has developed and changed a lot and no longer feels like the town I grew up. After I left Kathu, Anglo American Group bought over the Sishen mine and implemented transformation projects driven by the change in South Africa. The iron ore mine in Kathu is one of the largest in the world and a significant provider of work. Many people flocked to Kathu and the town bursts at the seams. In the meantime, a few shopping centres appeared with chain stores and known franchises.

I was impressed to see the Kathu Solar Park from the air. Kathu Solar Park started on 30 January 2019 to deliver renewable energy to South Africa’s national grid through Concentrated Solar Power (CSP) technology. They form part of the government’s Renewable Energy Independent Power Producers procurement program that delivers jobs, socio-economic benefits, and clean power.

Photo Credit: Kathu Solar Park

I often go back to my roots

My parents, Christo and Lenie Carstens started their life together 56 years ago in Sishen and my mom still lives in the house in which we grew up.

I like to visit her in Kathu and my brother-in-law and sister, Andre and Ansa van Zyl on their farm in the area. Feeling the red Kalahari sand between my toes and seeing the sunset behind the camel-thorn trees gives me great joy.

During my visits, I have the opportunity to see old school friends and recall wonderful memories of happy childhood among camel thorn trees, red sand and iron ore mine heaps.

Kind regards

Emsia

Swiss differences that amaze me

Swiss differences that amaze me

One sometimes makes the mistake of thinking that your way of doing things is the right, the best, or the only way. In a different environment, you realize various approaches to the same situation are possible and challenge you to broaden your perspective. Switzerland confronted me with this in several ways.

Compliance offers freedom

One of the first things I noticed in Switzerland was the high level of compliance. Citizens ensure an orderly coexistence by taking the responsibility of pointing out non-compliance. Zander and his friends have a term for it – the locals “swiss” you! At first, it caused stress, but I could see and understand the positive impact on order and safety and the resulting freedom.

On arrival, I noticed no prior train ticket check before embarking on public transport. Compliance is assumed. Officers in casual clothes sometimes check on surprise-basis passenger tickets on the local trains, and the fines are high if you violate the rules.

My young adult sons found it strange that people could use alcohol in public and on trains. I also noticed it when festive goers walked with a beer in hand during the Zurich Street Parade and did not misbehave.

In Switzerland, military service is compulsory for young Swiss men. I was surprised when I saw a young man dressed in his military uniform drinking a beer on the train. I grew up when military service was still compulsory in South Africa, and this picture was, in many ways, an exception to my frame of reference.

The naked truth

The Swiss, like other Europeans, are much more comfortable with nudity than me based on my upbringing. People will easily discreetly change clothes after a swim in the lake, and are comfortable getting dressed in front of other people and even walking around without clothes in public changing rooms.

Our sauna experiences

Spa and thermal baths are popular winter activities and one of our winter fun discoveries.

Charl and I tried our local pool’s beautifully and neatly furnished spa facilities. There was a suggested sequence for using the offerings, alternating sauna, and steam rooms with ice-cold baths for optimal health benefits.

The sauna was first on the list. Upon entering, I noticed that the people inside, all men, were not wearing any swimwear. I was uncomfortable but decided to sit quietly in my corner and keep my eyes on the door.
After a while, they both walked out. I sensed from their body language their conversation with a lady had something to do with us.

In Swiss style, she opened the door and firmly informed us that swimwear was not allowed in the sauna. I needed some processing time. We decided to follow the rules but went into the steam room where you could not see a thing. After a few minutes, my courage disappeared, and we went home. I still have some internal work to do on the topic of nudity.

The gynaecological visit

After more than two years in Switzerland, my conscience reminded me it was time for my annual gynaecological visit. As I walked into the consulting rooms, the doctor and I realized that her English and my German were equally limited. My eyes quickly went around the room to find the dressing cubicle with the pink patient gown. I realized with shock that Swiss doctors are advocates of effectiveness and with greater comfort with nudity changing rooms and patient gowns are unnecessary.

The situation confronted me with the naked truth. The doctor and I struggled through the examination in a mixture of English, German and gestures and were equally relieved when I walked out.

Money matters

Zurich is one of the most expensive cities in the world. The prices of everyday items were initially a big shock.

In South Africa, we are used to high inflation rates, accompanied by high-interest rates. At least there is an advantage to high-interest rates if you have some savings in the bank. In Switzerland, inflation and interest rates are low. However, the “negative” interest rate concept in Switzerland surprised us. If your bank balance reaches a certain threshold, you pay interest for keeping your money in a Swiss bank!

Taxes also work quite differently. There are three levels of taxation. Swiss federal tax law is uniform throughout Switzerland, but each of the 26 cantons has a separate cantonal tax law. Municipalities levy their taxes as a multiple of cantonal taxes. Laws and tax rates vary significantly between cantons and between local governments. The choice of place of residence plays a significant role in tax planning.

Married couples must file a joint Swiss tax return, and the authorities assess them jointly. We are used to employers deducting taxes from employees’ salaries monthly and remitting them to the tax collector. In Switzerland, this only applies to ex-pats.

Like a new pair of shoes

They say settling in a new country is like getting used to a new pair of shoes. At first, they pinch a little, but you like how they look, so you keep going. The longer you wear them, the more comfortable they become.

Kind regards

Emsia

I received Time as a precious gift

I received Time as a precious gift

My first fifty years were a constant race against time. With our move to Switzerland, I received what I had always wished for – Time.

After our relocation, I did not work, and Zander could get to school by public transport. I suddenly had more time than tasks. The situation encouraged me to think about time and what I wanted to do with this precious gift.

The value of time

Time is precious because we don’t know how much time we have. Nor can we get back time or opportunities that have passed.

How we spend our precious time is usually the best and most visible indicator of what is important to us. It also determines our impact and legacy. Some people have an enormous influence on others despite a short life.

Effective use of time

After many years in a consulting environment, I am used to accounting for my daily activities and reflecting daily on the effectiveness of my time spent. 

I had to decide how and on what I wanted to spend my time, to whom I wanted to give it, and why.

I had to ask myself a few questions. 

  • What are the significant relationships in my life?
  •  How do I cherish and demonstrate with my spending of time the priority of the relationships? 
  •  What contributions and differences do I want to make to others and the world?
  •  What things feed my heart and soul, how do I keep my body healthy, and what knowledge and skills do I want to expand?

My Letters Home idea was, among other things, an answer to some number of these questions. The letters were a way to keep in touch with people who are precious to me, but they also forced me to reflect on events and circumstances in my life. In addition, it required me to expand my technological and language skills. During Covid, words became my lifeline.

Time is a teacher and a healer.

There have been times in my life, especially after significant loss and disappointment, when I wished that time had a pendulum or a fast-forward button. I wanted to fast-forward to where I am in a better emotional place and can move forward with my life.

However, time as a teacher has taught me that I must sit down with my loss and pain, look it in the eye and listen carefully to what it wants to teach me. I now understand I needed the lessons and insight for situations and circumstances in my future.

Other times time has brought solutions to challenges and answers to questions. I had to learn to trust time and wait patiently. We should not rush time; everything has its own time.

The era (time slot) in which we live

We live for a short time in the overall space of time. Each era has its privileges and challenges.

I am grateful that I live in an age where we have access to information, technology to support communication and personal growth, and freedom to satisfy our interests. I am grateful I live in a time slot and place where my rights as a female are recognized and respected. In other eras, women’s and children’s situations looked very different.

However, we also live in an era where we, as humanity, must work together to take better care of each other and the resources we have received.

Present, past and future.

Regardless of when we live, we divide time into the present, past and future. We live in the present but overthink the past or the future. There is a tendency to consider the future more valuable than the present. How we think about the past or the future impacts how happy and satisfied we feel.

Lemn Sissay completed his seven-year term as chancellor of the University of Manchester in June 2022. He greeted colleagues and students with a very inspiring poem. I conclude with his poem titled – The gift of time.

Kind regards

Emsia

Chapters in the book of life

Chapters in the book of life

The book of life has different chapters. Unlike any other book, we don’t know how many chapters there are, and we can’t cheat and see how the story ends.

As a naive teenager, I invented a perfect storyline for my life book. I visualized the location, background, other characters in my life story, and time frames for important events. With quite a few chapters already completed, I can only shake my head and laugh at my naivety.

However, I came to some insights and conclusions.

We are not the author of our life books

I quickly realized I am only a character in my life book; I do not have the author role.

The storyline, therefore, remains a surprise even for the main character. In an interesting story, constantly exciting events and plots help the main character develop and prepare for the following chapters.

During the story, supporting characters enter, leave, and take on different roles and character types. Some characters appear in large parts of the book, but others only appear in single chapters.

Every book is unique and original

The Author has carefully planned the background, circumstances, side characters and message, and each book’s storyline and characters are unique and original.

Each main character’s development is at its own pace. However, for the character development to happen, the main character must overcome challenges, learn lessons, and come to new insights. Sometimes several challenges and situations are necessary before the main character learns the required life lessons.

We play different characters in different books

Each of us is the main character in our own life book but plays other roles in other people’s life books. Different character types are required to keep the story interesting, develop the main character, and bring out specific characteristics of the main character.

Sometimes the character type of players changes as the book progresses. Confidants can turn into antagonists when a breach of trust occurs. I am some people’s catalyst for growth and have the antagonist role in a few other stories.

The chapters are short

Chapters full of challenges sometimes feel like they will go on forever. I now realise that a life book’s chapters are short. Sometimes circumstances force the main character into a new chapter, and other times he or she makes the decision to change.

The main character must therefore take advantage of the opportunities and make the most of the role in each chapter. They must utilise the experience and lessons learned in the following chapters.

Other people’s stories are valuable tools

The Author of my life book uses other people’s stories to provide me with many answers to my questions and new perspectives. Other people’s life books are, therefore, valuable tools. In addition, it motivates and helps me better understand my role in my own story.

I can see clearly now

Over the years, I have found many answers and wisdom in Dr James W Dyer’s books. His memoir, published late in his life, impacted my thinking about my life and events. In his memoir, he shared events and crossroads in his life from an 84-year-old perspective. He concluded,

“I wasn’t aware of all of the future implications that these early experiences were to offer me. Now, from a position of being able to see much more clearly, I know that every single encounter, every challenge, and every situation are all spectacular threads in the tapestry that represents and defines my life, and I am deeply grateful for all of it.”

We will also find meaning and insight in our own life stories if we look from a current perspective at the events and the lessons we have learned from them. That way, we might find answers to all the why questions.

Regards

Emsia

The art of letting go requires courage

The art of letting go requires courage

Letting go and the accompanying loss is recently a theme for many people close to me. Many friends have recently lost a parent, child, or spouse. Queen Elizabeth’s passing highlighted this for us all. The process of letting go visits us in different guises throughout our lives. It takes courage to face each of them.

When people go

People come into our lives for a reason, season, or lifetime. It is, therefore, a reality that people will go at some point. The depth of the loss depends on the depth of the relationship.

When someone dies

When someone we love dies, the loss of their presence leaves a great void. There are usually precious memories, stories, and personal belongings that we cherish. We let them go with great sadness but also gratitude for the privilege of being able to walk a path with them and their impact on us.

We try to find comfort in accepting that this is part of our Creator’s time and plan.

When people choose to go

However, it is difficult when people you love choose to leave your life. Letting them go with grace is an act of love. Unlike death, rejection and even shame accompany the loss. However, we mustn’t personalize it; usually, it has little to do with us.

People make this choice to go for different reasons. Sometimes the relationship is not a priority because they want to focus on another path or goal. Other times, it shines a bright light on the dark places they are not ready to visit. In many cases, they know something we don’t; they know their limitations at that moment.

When children leave the house

My generation is in the phase of our lives where our children leave the nest.

We must allow them to make their own choices and decisions. However, initially, you are on standby and ready for any crisis. The relationship changes drastically, and both parties experience loss and adjustment.

My 23-year-old son, who is now standing on his own two feet, recently sent me a short video containing an interview with clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson about the role of a mother. Peterson explained,

The Freudians said the good Mother necessarily fails.  It means she stops providing the comfort that insulates people against the need for adventure. The best portrait I have seen of that is Michaelangelo’s Pieta. It is a statue of Mary and she has the adult body of Christ on her lap, but broken and destroyed.  That is the bravery of a mother.

She allows that to happen, but also facilitates it.  She says, “I understand the world out there is dangerous.  You might lose your body out there in the world, but if you stay here with me, you will lose your soul.”

In his way, he showed compassion by forwarding the video and acknowledging the conflict between a mother’s heart and mind. It also helped me to look at letting go of my young adult children in a different way.

To let go of the familiar

Change is part of growth. To grow, we must let go of the familiar, accept the loss and give up the reassurance of certainty. We experienced this very practically when we moved to Switzerland three years ago. We had to let go of our family home, the school, church, friends, Table Mountain, and the Winelands. In a new country, we had to make many lifestyle adjustments and learn a new language.

It is best to deal with the loss of a familiar environment the same way as with people. We should remember and celebrate what was good and fun and be grateful for having it in our life. I often remind myself that change is part of growth, and that adaptability strengthens me. A book of life consists of different chapters.

To let go of part of your identity

Sometimes situations force you to let go of those things to which you attach your value and identity. Only after I stopped working; I realized the extent to which I had allowed my identity to depend on my profession. 

Many internal and external factors influence our identities, such as society, family, loved ones, ethnicity, race, culture, location, opportunities, media, interests, appearance, self-expression, and life experiences.

Age gives us a lot of experience in the art of letting go

As time goes by, I understand that age provides us with a lot of experience in the art of letting go.

Over time, we must let go of things and people dear and precious to us. Often, we must also let go of health and mobility benefits and privileges.

Letting go with grace is an art. The mindset with which we do this is a significant challenge and test. I have a lot of respect for those who manage to grow old with dignity. Queen Elizabeth was one of those people for me.

Regards,

Emsia

Zurich embraced the short summer

Zurich embraced the short summer

The Swiss summer is short, and people celebrate the season in various ways. Geraniums, roses, and petunias colour the balconies. People enjoy long summer days and socialise with a glass of wine, while street musicians contribute to the atmosphere. There are many opportunities for locals and tourists to enjoy the summer.

Summer fun for the kids

When the schools close for the summer holidays, the swimming pools and lake beach areas become the children’s hangouts. The swimming areas have slides and diving boards. Zurich makes a summer holiday card available for children to use all public transport and visit swimming places for free. Discounts to various entertainment venues enable children to enjoy a fun time with their peers.

Swiss National day celebration

On 1 August, the people celebrate Switzerland’s national day. In Zurich, Swiss people parade in traditional clothes to a market square to enjoy Swiss food and socialise.

In the evening, residents in each municipal area celebrate the day with traditional food, music, and fireworks. Zander especially enjoyed the Bratwurst grilled on sticks over a large open fire.

Street parade

I convinced Charl to go with me to the Zurich Street Parade. People paraded through the streets in creative outfits while the organisers provided loud techno music from various stages. I saw a completely different side of the very law-abiding and quiet-and-in-their-place Swiss.

The creativity and colourfulness added to the fun. I did not have to take paparazzi photos because people spontaneously presented themselves to me for pictures.

Water fun in Zurich’s lake and Limmat river

In summer, Zurich’s Limmat river and lake are popular playgrounds. There are boats, yachts, pedal boats, and people doing SUP (Stand Up Paddling) everywhere.

Zander also wanted to do SUP. However, the SUP supplier informed me that an adult must accompany Zander. That adult ended up being me! The waves on the lake, created by the boats, caused me to fall off my SUP board a few times.

Fun summer activity is to float down the river in an inflatable boat or ring. Zander and I did it and enjoyed the scenery and the rapids.

Charl and I participated in the “Limmat Schwimmen“. Like thousands of participants, we clung to our inflatable duckling as we watched Zurich’s buildings pass us.

Outdoor theatre, music, and movies

The long evenings create a lovely opportunity for families to enjoy cultural experiences in the open air. Different offerings exist to enjoy music, theatre, and movies in this way.

The Zurich Openair is the largest open-air music festival in Zurich, which inspires thousands of electro, rock, and pop fans.

The Zürcher Teater Spektakel, on the shores of Lake Zurich, entertains theatre lovers. The Lake Zurich sunsets create a romantic backdrop while spectators enjoy a variety of entertainment.

Outdoor movie on a big screen is a popular summer activity. People can watch a blockbuster, art or classic movie while picnicking under the stars. It’s the modern version of drive-in movies.

Our first post-Covid summer in Zurich was a pleasant experience. The days are getting colder, and the leaves start changing colour, but we enter the colder seasons with contentment.

Kind regards

Emsia