Letters Home - during our time in Switzerland as expats

We live proudly South African

18/11/2020 emsia.kruger

While settling into a new environment, you tend to notice what is different. When you need to become part of and feel at home, it is essential to focus on the commonalities.

The Swiss people are incredibly loyal and proud of their Swiss nationality. The medals for economic prosperity, safety, and order hang brightly polished in a row. Most people here have many university degrees. The fact that all schools and higher educational institutions are free for Swiss citizens promotes the situation.

The official languages in Switzerland

In Switzerland, the official languages are German, French, Italian and Romansh. The people who speak these languages have many differences in terms of culture. If you socialise with the Swiss in Switzerland, they will inform you about their cultural origin. However, if you meet them in Germany, France, or Italy, you realise they are proudly Swiss.

Hirslanden, part of the South African Mediclinic group

When Charl joined the Hirslanden group in Switzerland, which is part of the MediClinic group in South Africa, changing legislation which affected them negatively, challenged them. Different computer systems at the various hospitals, acquired over time, needed to be integrated.

These challenges cause a significant number of computer projects. With this information as a context, one can understand that Charl’s new role as Head of Information Systems started with many business challenges. His arrival also meant that people had to speak English instead of German during management meetings. He is, therefore, the cause of frustration when everyone struggles to express themselves in a second or third language.

Leadership

The managers Charl works with were used to an autocratic leadership style. Coming from South Africa, we learned expensive leadership lessons about leadership from experience but also examples. Good leaders focus on teamwork to achieve common rather than individual goals. They understand the need to create space for individuals to make unique contributions and create opportunities to unlock potential. With a team accustomed to one kind of leadership style and then subjected to another, their feedback and response are not contributing to anyone’s self-esteem.

We as South Africans have many things in common

It is during challenging times like these that we had to remind ourselves about what we as South Africans have in common:

We are excellent at making plans and innovation because we do not always have everything readily available.
We are resilient because since birth, regardless of the year, we have learned to adapt to many new situations and changes.
We have experienced diversity on many levels and therefore understand the strength of diversity.
We have learned to find ways to overcome political problems, economic crises, power outages, water constraints, fires, draughts, etc. We make plans, create forums, WhatsApp and Facebook groups, and tell jokes about our dilemmas.
We do understand that we human beings have very similar basic needs. We are all looking for opportunities to use our talents as part of living our purpose, want to see progress and need recognition.

Change and adaptation take time and require a lot of perseverance. However, we have experienced personal growth and development because of our journeys as South Africans. We can call ourselves South African with pride.

Kind regards

Emsia

Synchronicity is never accidental

11/11/2020 emsia.kruger

There are many instances when we hear things, meet people, or have experienced them when we need them most. We know that it is not accidental but more a case of synchronicity. The psychotherapist Jung created the term synchronicity (syn = with, Chronos = time). It describes events or coincidences that seem to have no specific cause but are very significant.

I see it as a way of God talking to me or giving me the answers I need. When I am in despair or doubt about the right step or decision, I walk into a bookstore with a prayer. “Oh Lord, please give me a sign or an answer”. Soon a book will catch my eye and usually have the answer I need.

It also often happens to me that I think about someone incessantly or need to say something to someone, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable. The result is usually the person who confirms that my words or support made a difference. The reverse happens too. People will call out of the blue or show up with just the answer, help or advice.

Charl’s path crossed mine in a synchronistic way

Charl’s path crossed mine in a synchronistic way. After my divorce, I allowed myself one year to be in the doldrums and worked through it. At the end of that year, I went on holiday with my mom and the boys to Sedgefield. On the last day of our holiday, I went canoeing on the lake and prayed aloud. I explained to God that I was ready to move on. I kindly asked him to send me someone who loves Him, loves me, but will also love my children.

On Sunday evening, after we arrived home in April 2006, Charl called me to ask if I would go to the musical Mamma Mia with him. He bought the tickets before his divorce and did not want to let them go wasted. He told me afterwards that he postponed that call a few times. One thing led to another, and we married one year later, in April 2007. I know God answered my prayer and that his call was not coincidental.

The number 11:11

For the last two years, I have noticed the number 11 everywhere. It happened numerous times that I looked at my watch at 11:11. I was curious and tried to find out if there was any meaning to it. According to my research, the number 11 is the master number and is the way of the Universe or God, making us aware to read between the lines and notice that there is more to our current situation than we are aware.

11 October 2019 was the last school day for Christo. It was only the final school exam standing between him and his future. In my mind, I was with him all morning, attending the last hall meeting and listening to the school principal’s speech. In addition, there were a few uncertain situations for which I could not see or control the outcome. I felt heavy with emotion. When I got up from behind my computer for a cup of tea, I quickly looked at my cell phone and became aware of the time and date – 11 October 11:11.

Ladybugs

After my tea, I cleaned the house and opened the windows. As I entered the living room, I noticed all the ladybugs. There were almost fifty of these beautiful little insects. As children, we believe they bring happiness when they sit on us. Their presence was comforting.

Early the following morning, I went for a walk at the lake. By the water, the most beautiful white swan swam against the orange background of sunrise. I experienced peace. Three signs that I can believe, trust and be calm. I know that when my mom sees a feather on the ground at her back door, that is her sign of hope.

Career

As far as my career is concerned, I have always had the vision to exchange my permanent role in a corporate environment for a self-employed business consulting role to focus on the things that I am passionate about and have more freedom. The ideal time for me would be around forty-eight because it would be enough time to get a business going before the risk aversion that comes with age kicks in too badly.

However, I was afraid to exchange a good monthly salary for a start-from-scratch self-owned business. Due to a restructuring at work, my employer terminated my position during the same October as my 48th birthday. Exciting coaching and consulting opportunities came my way from the strangest places, and I enjoyed every moment of my new role.

Before I turned fifty, a strange twist in my career plans caught me a little off guard. Since I knew Charl, Switzerland has been one of his favourite places. The natural beauty, technological advancement, precision, and food contribute to his love of Switzerland. Although I enjoy the adventure and the learning and growth that such a change brings, I am still uncertain how it fits into my life plan.

However, I know that now I am still staring at a dim mirror and that I will receive the necessary answers and perspective as the story unfolds. I am looking forward to it!

Kind regards
Emsia

Autumn is a preparation period for rest

04/11/2020 emsia.kruger

Mother Nature, with her orange and rust-brown dressing gown, is getting ready for a period of rest here in Switzerland. We are still unsure what exactly this period entails. All we know is, “Winter is coming!”

Farming activities

It is the farming activities around us that give us a definite indication that the people are preparing for a new season. The farmers have ploughed the fields. Next to all the barns, we can see how the bales of hay and fodder are accumulating quickly. The stacks of neatly cut wood also get higher. The livestock farmers mainly own cattle, sheep and llamas that graze higher up the mountains during the summer months.

It is a celebrated event when the animals come to the villages during September and early October. The cows, with bells around their necks, are decorated with flowers. The farmers and their families dressed in traditional clothes accompany the animals on their descent.

Cows coming to the villages for the winter period

Mushroom and hunting season

The mornings are already chilly. Temperatures are between 0 and 10 degrees Celsius, and there is a thick fog in the early mornings. In the forests are carpets of autumn-coloured leaves and a variety of mushrooms. In Europe, there are apparently six thousand different types of mushrooms. This time of year, mushroom inspectors at the municipalities look at the people’s picked mushrooms to advise on which are edible or poisonous.

Autumn is hunting season, and people hunt deer in the forests. Hunting licenses are strictly regulated. Venison is a common item on restaurant menus, and a mushroom sauce to go with it is a popular choice.

Pumpkins and Halloween

The most beautiful varieties of yellow and orange pumpkins are for sale. Different pumpkins, marked with a sales price, are displayed on the shelves of wooden stalls all over. You choose your pumpkin and put your money in the dedicated box. The fact that there is no salesperson is beyond my comprehension. The pumpkins create excitement for Halloween. I understand that Halloween is a big event at the school. A mom committee is organising the Halloween party for the end of October.

Oktoberfest

October is known for its Oktoberfest in German-speaking countries. Twenty-five years ago, I attended such a fest in Munich, and I only remember masses of happy people with one-litre beer mugs in the one hand and a giant Pretzel in the other. Young women in beautiful traditional dresses were serving them. Beer tents appear in Zurich in preparation for the Octoberfest, and it is heart-warming to see the young Swiss people, proud of their culture and origin, in their traditional clothes.

Charl’s colleagues warned that the darkness, rather than the cold, creates a challenge during winter. During winter, Zurich is covered in a dense fog layer for almost four to five months without any sunshine. The daylight period is also short. My understanding is that many people struggle with depression during this time. The locals own weekend homes in the mountains above the clouds to experience some sunlight.

The school informed us that the children should have three different pairs of shoes for school purposes. In addition to sports shoes, they should have shoes for indoors as well as outdoor shoes. Every child should have a snow jacket because they play outside during breaks, regardless of rain or snow.

As children of a country with ample sunshine and without snow experience, we look forward to a white Christmas, playing in the snow and drinking hot chocolate. However, we are still figuring out how to prepare ourselves for the winter season.

Kind regards
Emsia

Choose your lens for each situation wisely

28/10/2020 emsia.kruger

A few years ago, I watched a short video that spoke to me. In the video clip, “Finding the Right Answers”, Dewitt Jones, a photographer for National Geographic, shares his wisdom about what photography has taught him in life and business.

In challenging situations, we must choose the lenses through which we look. Sometimes you must look wider, other times deeper, and often you must choose to look from someone else’s perspective. The Swiss situation has forced me several times to choose another lens.

Refugee camp in Zurich

As part of the ICS Community Impact club, we visit a refugee camp in Zurich on Fridays. The refugees are mainly mothers and children who have fled from countries such as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Afghanistan for various reasons. All European countries are required to accommodate refugees.

Most refugees enter Europe through Greece, where the Greek police have treated them harshly. From there, officials transfer them to different countries. They remain in the refugee camp for three months while their formal application for official refugee status is pending.

The refugee camp in Zurich is neat, has clean facilities for bathing and sleeping, and cooked food. However, trauma and insecurity are visible on their faces. The refugees speak different languages, and their English is very limited. They do learn to speak German when entering Switzerland.

Interacting with the refugees

We play games with the little ones and communicate using limited German, body language, sounds, facial expressions, and touch. I will never forget the little girl who climbed on my lap to draw a picture. While I was lightly rubbing her back, she looked up and kissed me.

As foreigners, the ICS moms understand the adjustment a new country requires. The big difference is that the refugees live in total insecurity, have only a few belongings, and cannot return to their own country. The experience significantly impacted my perspectives on change and adaptation in a new country.

Scooters and skate parks

With Zander’s approaching birthday, he requested a stunt scooter as a birthday present since all the boys his age own one. One afternoon after school, we went to the nearest scooter shop to learn more about scooter options. His new friend, Nate, was invited along, and I was grateful for his complete technical lesson on scooters. After another two days of research on the internet, I was well informed and ready for purchase.

In Switzerland, there are many skate parks where children can practice their stunts with their bikes, scooters, and skateboards. The scooter birthday present forced me to select a wide lens when looking at skate parks. Using my current lens, I see graffiti, teenagers with sagging pants and smoking funny stuff.

On his birthday, Zander wanted to hang out at the nearest skate park with his new scooter! I had to look through a different lens and see that it may be a good way for him to engage with other boys and get healthy physical exercise instead of sitting in front of his computer.

I baked cupcakes for his birthday and sent them to school with napkins with Afrikaans words on them. The Dutch children in Zander’s class were pleased that they were able to understand some of the Afrikaans words.

Lens of trust

I am still working on my levels of trust, but a recent incident contributed positively. In Switzerland, all children must wear a helmet when they ride a bike or a scooter. My OCD was so pleased when the turquoise helmet was the same colour as the new scooter of Zander.

One afternoon after school, I realised something was wrong when I noticed tears. The helmet stayed behind on the train. When Zander tried to get back on the train, the doors closed in front of him.

Out of desperation, I tested the systems and registered the helmet as a lost item on the train’s website. A week later, SBB informed me that they had found the helmet and that I could pick it up at Stadelhofen train station. I could not believe our luck. At school, the only locked scooter is the one belonging to Zander Goosen. The instruction came from his mother. Even though the bicycle parking is on the street side of the school, you will find no other locked bicycles or scooters.

When the glasses of my family members look half empty, I often tease them that they should clean their lenses and look at a situation again. Switzerland sometimes forces me to choose a new lens.

Kind regards
Emsia

Back to school to an international school

21/10/2020 emsia.kruger

We awaited the school opening with great anticipation. The new academic year started after the European summer holidays. It was a winter and summer holiday combo for us. Lots of freedom to spend your time just like you want sounds like utopia until you have it and quietly begin to long for order and structure and getting back into a routine.

Orientation Day

The evening before the Inter-Community School (ICS) Orientation Day, Zander was very excited. I suspect his focus was more on socialising because we miss social contact. As we walked through the large glass doors of the school, Zander said, “Mom, I am freaking out now.” Behind my calm face, I felt the same.

New learners from Grade 1 to Grade 10 and their parents filled the hall. The diploma students (Grades 11 and 12) gathered in a different building. My eyes wandered over the packed room. Between the family in the front with their goth teenage son and a young mother trying to breastfeed her baby in the back of the hall, I was very grateful for my 10-year-old. He is just old and just young enough for this new situation!

Zander’s grade-5 class

Zander is in one of three grade-5 classes. Mrs Hill, of British descent, is his teacher. They are sixteen children in the class, five of whom are newcomers. The school is prepared and equipped to handle these streams of new children arriving and existing learners moving away. I could see that the school has many processes to help the learners and their parents to handle and engage in the change. Many people are of British or American descent, but many have just moved from another country, such as Singapore or Dubai, where they have only lived for three or four years.

Teachers welcome the learners in the morning

Parent Association

The school has a very active ICS Parent Association, and one of its main goals is to help integrate the new families. The focus is on the mom because dad goes to work and has so much adjustment to do that he is rarely home. The children go to school and focus on socialising with their new friends in the afternoons. After the moms have unpacked thousands of boxes and have found everyone’s lost items, they reach a point where they ask themselves, “What now?”

At this point, any mom who would like to be a chairman of a club establishes one at ICS and invites parents to be part of the club. Those who want to be a member to see how everything works (like me), write their name on the Google Form list to join in and get to know people. There are numerous clubs. For those who want to be active, there are tennis, hiking, skiing, running, and yoga, and for those who want to be social, there are singing, bubbles, book club etc.

Zander’s first new friend

At the end of the first day of school, I waited for Zander with great anticipation just outside the school to hear all the news. His first words were, “Hello, Mom. Is it okay for me and my new friend to go to Badi Juch (the town’s pool) with our bikes this afternoon?” What is the appropriate response because you must decide what you want?

I looked at the friend from the USA, who is just as tall as Zander, and decided to keep an open mind. He scored a few points with me when he came home with Zander after the swim at the agreed time and explained that he, unfortunately, had to go home as his mother was cooking and was expecting him for dinner. In the meantime, I also met Nate’s mother, Ellen, and made use of the opportunity to invite her for coffee next week.

My boxes are all unpacked and I am excited to see what the clubs entail. I signed up for the Tennis and Community Impact clubs. I have not played Tennis in twelve years and hope I do not embarrass myself.

Kind regards

Emsia

Our ship with our belongings has come in!

14/10/2020 emsia.kruger

Our cup of joy and relief overflowed when our container arrived in Zurich after three weeks in an empty apartment. The giant container was transported by truck from Welgemoed to Cape Town Harbour and by cargo ship to Port Elizabeth before it finally arrived in Rotterdam in the Netherlands. After that, it travelled on a barge upstream in the Rhine River for 1 200 kilometres to Basel in Switzerland. In Basel, it passed through customs and travelled by truck to our residence. I have a new respect for logistical planning!

Camping in an empty apartment for three weeks

We were delighted about the familiarity of our belongings. The three weeks of camping in an empty apartment proved we could get by with very little. Children speak what they think, and Zander’s reaction was touching. His joy was without limits at the sight of our belongings. That evening, when he lay with us in bed, he said, “The blankets smell nice. It smells like you and Dad”. His words summed it up.

We are wearing our steel armour to survive

Many things are different and strange to us. In the morning, you put on your steel armour, your smile and look the dragons in the eyes. In the evening, you feel satisfied because you have learned some new things and explored new terrain. However, when you come home, you look for some haven and then your belongings and people are precious, despite the familiar scratch marks. In your safe space, you can lick your wounds. Here you can laugh together about the day’s failures and frustrations.

We live in a rural setting between farming activities

We enjoy our apartment. The new building is light and in a rural setting between farming activities. Our home is a distance from Charl’s work, and it takes him about an hour to get to work by bus, train, and tram. Zander travels about fifteen minutes to school by train.

The appliances in the kitchen are brand new. With the help of my Clicks glasses and the Google translator, I had to determine how the induction stove that works with magnetism, the high-tech oven that also has a steam function and the washing machine and dryer, with German instructions, should be operated.

Regulating the temperature

At first, it was strange to take off our shoes like everyone else, at the door when we entered. The whole apartment has blinds, but they are on the outside. The blinds are the only way to keep the place cool. According to Google, there seems to be a ban on air conditioning in terms of EU F gas regulation to protect the ozone layer. According to Charl, one can find anything except yourself on Google.

The forest close to our apartment and Zander at Zurich lake

Recycling

Recycling is on another level. Switzerland is full of recycling points with containers for materials including aluminium, plastic, different coloured glass bottles, PET plastic, cardboard, compost material and even a fridge for deceased pets.

Our recycling point is close to Zander’s school, and we have visited it numerous times with our piles of cardboard in which our new cupboards, which we had to build ourselves, were packed. The only items allowed in the rubbish bin at home are dirty packaging materials. It must go in a dedicated bag, for which you buy a sticker from the municipality to encourage you to recycle as much as possible.

The Swiss are very health conscious. Fast food outlets are scarce. I am amazed when the moms take out sliced carrots and cucumbers, and the toddlers receive the snack food with joy. Everywhere you see people jogging or cycling. I have not seen a fat Swiss person. If someone has some excess weight, you know it is a tourist. We are also still working on our excess weight caused by comfort eating.

Sunday

Sunday is spent as a day of rest, as the Bible recommends. All shops are closed, and the people spend the day with their families outdoors. They enjoy hiking in one of the many forests or hiking trails along the lake. Even the toddlers ride with mom or dad on a bike or strollers.
I enjoy the beautiful sounds of the church bells you hear throughout the day. Significant days on the Christian calendar are public holidays, even Ascension and Pentecost.

Next week the schools start, and on Monday, the school welcomes newcomers and their parents. We will put on our armour and smiles and provide you with feedback in my following letter.

Kind regards
Emsia

Zurich greeted us through the plane’s window

06/10/2020 emsia.kruger

On 18 July 2019, Zander and I set foot on Swiss soil for the first time. My first glimpse of our new home through the plane’s window was the full moon greeting the new day in the purple-orange glow of dawn over the white peaks of the Alps. As we approached the landing, I noticed the order and effectiveness. My OCD was delighted, but I wondered, “am I ready for this challenge?”

My first view of Zurich through the window of the plane

In the arrival hall, Charl stood there like my rock. It was such a relief to see him. He almost seemed more tired than Zander and I due to all the worrying about us. We accompanied him to his temporary residence. My tired brain could not take in all his explanations of how everything works, and I had to figure the basics out after some sleep.

Our first outing to the local supermarket

Zander and my first outing were to the local supermarket, Coop. Due to limited space and the fact that you have to carry your purchases, people tend to go to the store daily and only buy food for that day. I soon realised my warehouse concept was not going to work here. Certain types of fruits and vegetables are unknown to me, but all the red fruits, like berries and cherries, excite me.

The smell of freshly baked bread hung in the air, and the variety of cheeses amazed me. Meat options are limited, and the prices are unaffordable. Minced meat is three times more expensive, and other cuts are up to six times more expensive than in South Africa. Coop, fortunately, has Prix branded products that are affordable, even for South Africans. Zander was delighted with his discovery of Prix ice cream. Zander stated, “I can see how the two of us will now become Bargain Hunters”.

Trains, trams, and buses

Our second challenge was to find our way between all the trains, trams, and buses. We still rely on our faithful friend Google Maps. It shows what form of transport departs from a specific location at a given time. Our legs also must now make a more significant contribution between all the walking, climbing stairs and sometimes running when we are a little bit late.

Getting out of bed is much more painful than before, but I hope it bears fruit on appearance. Since we require local data for Google Maps, we had to obtain local cell phone contracts. Zander is now responsible for most of our route research. He is my Trip Advisor.

I have sent Zander several times to the grocery store with a list. He travelled by train as the store was only a few stations away, and he returned with all the items. The safe environment contributes to confidence and makes me comfortable giving Zander greater responsibility.

Language is a challenge

Language is a big challenge for us, and all three of us realise that we will have to learn to speak German as soon as possible to survive. We use Google Translate regularly. Many people can speak a little English and are friendly and helpful. Between grüezi (hello), danke schön (thank you very much) and tschuss (goodbye), we try to create the impression that we are at least trying. If I struggle in the shops, I throw in Afrikaans with sch- and gh- sounds. With a little bit of luck, it sometimes works.

Our new home (Ankenbüel) between the farms

Accommodation, like everything else here, is expensive. We were grateful to hear that we could get the key to our new apartment a week before the end of July. The news that our shipment would only arrive on 9 August was less good. As South Africans, we are comfortable with camping. With everything on the ship, we bought a kettle, mattresses, and basic cutlery to get by for three weeks. In Switzerland, the accommodation also comes without lights and built-in cupboards.

IKEA

We had to expand our limited understanding of IKEA’s processes. As first-time visitors, we felt overwhelmed by Ikea’s maze of departments and aisles. We realised we had to write down the location and order numbers of selected items to find them in the self-serve warehouse.

Ikea`s furniture is affordable because you have to assemble the furniture yourself. Charl`s lego building skills came in handy when we had to build our Ikea furniture from the description-free assembly instructions. We experienced a significant sense of achievement once we had finished the items and delivered the carton to the recycling plant.

We are doing well and are pleased with our progress in exploring our new home over the past two weeks. We miss family, friends and being able to understand the language. Zander also longs for burgers with his favourite Woolworths patties.

Kind regards

Emsia

Challenges and miracles during our exodus

06/10/2020 emsia.kruger

When the Israelites were in their exodus from Egypt through the desert for forty years, the Lord led them with a very clever plan to the Promised Land. He kept them close to Him and helped them stand together and move forward. His plan included many challenges and many miracles.

Since we left Welgemoed, we have also experienced many challenges, miracles, and angels on our path. After we left Welgemoed, we took a short break before Charl flew back to Zurich and Zander and I drove long distances to say farewell to the people and places we love.

BMW with flat tyre between Prieska and Griekwastad

BMW does not like dirt roads

On the way to Kathu, I consulted Google Maps about the roads in the Northern Cape and took a shortcut, little knowing that it was a dirt road. The BMW does not like dirt roads. On a late Sunday morning, on a rocky road without a cell phone signal between Prieska and Griekwastad, the BMW’s tyre bursts! We were stranded because the BMW had run-flat tires and no spare wheel.

Just as my panic attack was gaining momentum, a large tractor with three workers appeared like angels from heaven. I climbed with my computer, handbag, and passports on the tractor, and Zander followed. When we reached the farmhouse, the farmer used the landline to help me order a new tyre from Prieska. I could also use the phone to inform my family about our predicament.

Brother-in-law Andre informed me the condition of the dirt road was too bad to drive further with the BMW. He arranged with a farmer in the Griekwastad area to fetch us with his flatbed trailer before nightfall. That evening we were able to lay our weary heads on soft pillows in a guest house in Griekwastad. All I could mumble before I slowly closed my eyes was, Thank you, Father, for all the Northern Cape angels who came to our rescue with so much love and care on their precious Sunday!

The Kalahari was like an oasis

Being with my mom in Kathu and Ansa and Andre on the farm was like a leafy green oasis with lovely palm trees in the desert after weeks of packing boxes and the dirt road experience. Our cups overflowed with love, care and pampering, and nothing could bother us. I am so grateful that Christo and Michaela were also able to join us. With the large camel thorn trees and golden-orange sunsets as a backdrop, we had a good time, ate, laughed, and enjoyed each other’s company. To drive away from there was very painful.

In Pretoria to pick up visas

After consulting on the safest way to Pretoria to pick up our visas, a school friend added me to a few ride-safe WhatsApp groups. They came to our rescue when we could avoid riots on our planned routes. The visa application process was a large stone that could potentially overturn the Swiss apple cart, but fortunately, everything went smoothly with Swiss precision.

Time with Jacques and Candice in Parys

After the visas, we picked up Jacques and our cousin Candice in Potchefstroom and had a wonderful time together in Parys along the rippling waters of the Vaal River. Jacques spoiled us with tasty meals he prepared. As an old Kovsie, the entire Free State landscape brought back fond memories from my student days.

Jacques, Zander and Candice in Parys, Free State

After saying goodbye to Jacques, we headed to our nephew Justin in Sandton. He showed us the lights of Sandton and helped us get safely on the Gautrain for our last ride to OR Tambo airport.

Our day of departure has arrived. I carry all the challenges and precious moments like gems in my heart and just prayed that we would finally get to Zurich after the long journey. Like Moses, I feared that I would not be able to see the promised land. I have so many dreams of how I want to spend precious time with friends and family, experience moments and build memories in Switzerland.

I am grateful to my travel buddy, who had all the experiences with me. He knows his mom well and has offered incredible support with much love and humour.

Kind regards

Emsia

Letting go is crucial for new beginnings

30/09/2020 emsia.kruger

According to experts, change consists of three distinct phases. The first phase is the finishing, parting, and closing. It brings loss and relief. Second is the in-between phase, like the trapeze artist in the circus letting go on one side without certainty that the bar will be on the other end at the right time and place. The third phase is the new beginning. It usually brings an element of excitement but also uncertainty about my ability to handle the uncertain situation.

Each of these phases has its challenges and emotions that go along with it. The first phase is saying goodbye and letting go. Successful new beginnings are dependent on proper closure, and closure involves letting go.

My haven

I must let go of our house of twenty years. This house is my haven when the storms rage. With my first view of the lovely garden and dollhouse under the big shade trees, I knew this was where I wanted to raise my kids. Here my children took their first steps. We had numerous birthday parties, played for hours on the lawn or in the pool and curled up in front of the fireplace in winter.

My garden

In the garden are many monuments in the form of plant cuttings and seedlings received as gifts. It recognizes everyone who has contributed to the colourful picture, even though many are no longer with us.

Until recently, a door carried artwork created by a three-year-old on a door. Young Christo drew it with a permanent marker pen while we waited for his dad to come home so we could go on vacation. A piece of the blind in the teen room was still missing. The explanation for the disappearance, by a wise-nose teenager, was “the spontaneous disintegration of solid matter”. However, after years of wondering, I resolved the mystery. A cricket ball had gone off course while being played with illegally in the garage.

Memories in each room

In each room are memories of moments that are part of my life and past. I think with a smile how we played riding the horse in the living room with the little ones on my back. Later, they had sleepover parties with their friends, and we ate pizza, built puzzles, or played board games at the fireplace.

Saying farewell to the neighbours

We are lucky to have wonderful neighbours, with George as a friend for Zander as a bonus. We met Fritz and Aletta in the street and immediately knew we had something in common with our strollers containing baby boys. My dreams for the boys of having fun, playing, and sleepovers played out as envisioned. The tree next to the backyard wall provided convenient access to the neighbours. Initially, George’s fear of the big brothers, with the braces on their teeth, made him reluctant to visit! Fortunately, he outgrew the fear, and the two friends’ farewell broke our hearts.

The house is still on the market, and we are waiting for the right new owner. This space, which served as a haven for twenty years, is now ready to become someone else’s. As with everything here on earth, it was only temporarily lent to us, and now it is time for us to move on. It is now someone else’s turn to make the place a haven and build beautiful memories.

Kind regards

Emsia

My second grappling with languages

22/09/2020 emsia.kruger

Looking back on my life, I realise there have been numerous people and opportunities sent across my path that could have been excellent teachers if I had just seized these opportunities. My dad was an expert in the technical field and with repairs. If I had only paid more attention, I would have created better plans to resolve my maintenance problems. I would also have had fewer cooking failures as a young married woman if I had helped my mom more in the kitchen.

As a Kalahari kid, I never learned to speak English properly.

I can think of many examples, but one challenge that visits me for a second time is my lack of language skills. As a Kalahari kid, I never learned to speak English properly. Reading English books was perceived as a nuisance that interfered with my precious social time. Those days we spoke Afrikaans even in the English class, so why would I bother? If I could only have a quick look into the future, I would have changed my attitude!

The London opportunity came like a thief in the night

Language-wise, things went smoothly for a while. After school, I went to an Afrikaans university and then started working at an Afrikaans office with Afrikaans clients. The London opportunity crept up on me like a thief in the night. Hubby wanted to complete his Master’s degree at the London Business School, and I applied for a job at the London PwC office.

We boarded the plane for my first international flight. We travelled very lightly with just a handful of possessions for two years of studying and working in London. Upon our arrival, we stopped at the London office to finalise things for my start at the office. The shock of my life arrived when they informed me in a very polite British manner that there was no way they could expose me to their clients with such poor English!

I still get nightmare flashbacks of myself in a red London phone booth

Here we were in London, hubby must commence his studies, and I did not have a job! I still get nightmare flashbacks of myself sweating in a typical red London phone booth. The pounds and pennies fell through the payphone as I tried to convince one recruitment agency after the other, in my limited English and very Afrikaans accent, of my financial knowledge and skills.

The Lord must have felt sorry for me and sent a team of angels to my rescue. With my self-esteem in pieces, an unexpected message from PwC informed me that they would allow me another interview, but this time for an internal role. Internally, they might be able to accommodate me.

A fellow South African came to my rescue

My interviewer was, fortunately, a fellow South African who felt sorry for me. I am grateful to have ended up in a team responsible for the roll-out of audit software, which we have already used in South Africa. The team I worked in consisted of quite a few people from other countries like Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.

Initially, my colleagues and I struggled to understand each other. For all my sins, I ended up in a role where I had to present classroom training on the use of audit software. I also had to assist staff members with their software problems over the phone as part of a helpline.

I was known as the French girl because my English was impossible to understand

My first training session went terrible, and the evaluation feedback damaged my already bruised ego. The people who contacted the helpline started asking for the French girl because my English was impossible to understand. There was no chance of giving up, and my English slowly improved. I knew things were turning around when I suddenly started praying in English one night before bed.

The surprise on my colleagues’ faces after my first presentation back in South Africa was good for my ego. I am very grateful for this painful learning experience. The world has changed rapidly since my school days, and I would not have been able to make any progress in my career without this English language proficiency. I was hoping to pick up the British accent, but unfortunately, the Kalahari is far too much in my blood.

I have to pass a German exam as a prerequisite for my Swiss visa!

Charl finally obtained his Swiss work visa, and Zander and I were able to apply for our Swiss residence visas. I was devastated when I read on the visa application that German, French or Italian language skills are a prerequisite for the Swiss visa. They introduced the requirement in January 2019 and gave new applicants a year to pass an A1 German language test to extend the visa. This situation feels like déjà vu!

I am not good with languages. I downloaded German children’s books from the internet and read about the “Easter Bunny Harry” (Easter Bunny Harry) and “Wenn es Sterne regnet” (When it rains stars).
My language brain pathways are overgrown. That is the reason for my headache after a German study session. I see this as just one of many challenges, and I will not allow it to overwhelm me. If you see me again, “dann werde ich sehr gut deutsch sprechen”!
Kind regards

Kind regards

Emsia