Birthday and Christmas celebrations make me nervous. It creates expectations whether you are on the giving or receiving end. Somehow someone is always left disappointed. I have made peace that our Christmas or birthday celebrations will never come close to the magazine or Pinterest pictures. Some planned celebrations can be an extreme disappointment, while other unplanned days become special, memorable moments.

My vision for a family get together

However, I was contemplating the possibility of using my fiftieth birthday in October 2019 as an excuse for a family get-together. I pictured us having a fun time along the banks of the Orange River. In my mind, I could hear children playing in the water and smell the barbequed lamb chops. I requested my two eldest sons to keep the 2019 October holiday free from other social events that might cross their path.

My fiftieth birthday celebration turned out very different from my initial plans! I celebrated my birthday on a wet, cold autumn day in Zurich instead of a sunny spring day along the banks of the Orange River. Instead of being with my family for a whole weekend, it was just Zander and me in Zurich who knew I was celebrating my birthday. Charl had to attend a conference in South Africa during the same week as my birthday.

Every get-together is a celebration

I am grateful that I have decided to approach this celebration differently. In my mind, I perceived all my last coffees, meals or social time with friends and family as a celebration. I saw the time shared and connection as my gift. In the beautiful Western Cape, I celebrated with friends every week. My celebrations with my family were among the big old camel thorn trees and red sand in the Kalahari. I had a special celebration with Jacques and Candice next to the Vaal River in Parys, Free State.

Our France visit

We visited Paris in France the weekend before my fiftieth birthday in October. We were amazed by the buildings that tell stories of times long before we walked on this earth. We discussed the French Revolution and how many people lost their lives on the same soil where we could peacefully sit and enjoy lunch. The highlight for Zander was when we visited Disney Paris to celebrate his birthday at the end of September. We had lots of fun on the roller coaster rides through Star War galaxies!

On my birthday, Zander and I stayed at home so that I could talk to everyone in South Africa without interruption. I saw every call and message as a gift because people made time for me.
The distance highlights how precious physical togetherness is. On my fiftieth birthday, I reminded myself that we must celebrate every day and see every moment we enjoy with those close to us as a gift, and free ourselves from all the magazine or social media expectations of celebrations.

Kind regards
Emsia