Letters Home

Anticipation is a familiar feeling that often visits us. Waiting for something exciting, like a holiday, a visit from someone, or a celebration, makes me tingle with delight. I find the anticipation sometimes as fun as the event itself!

Anticipation for a travel experience with my mom

A memorable moment of anticipation was when we took my mom to see the tulips at Keukenhof in Amsterdam in 2016. It was her first time travelling overseas, and the excitement was palpable.

During our trip, my sister, Ansa, stayed at our home in Cape Town to look after the children. The nieces and nephews enjoyed two weeks of fun and togetherness while we were away. They were excited about our return and greeted us warmly and enthusiastically. The exchange of stories and experiences we shared upon returning was just as enjoyable as the trip.

For me, the most enjoyable part of anticipating a positive experience is the planning and preparation. I can spend hours researching, making lists, and organizing everything. As the day of the experience approaches, both my excitement and anxiety grow. Three months before our journey, my mother travelled 1,000 kilometres by bus to visit us so we could assist her with her visa application. We considered this part of the shared adventure.

It was all worth it, and we often during our regular calls reminisce about the beautiful, colourful moments we experienced.

The anticipation for the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris

We visited Paris in May this year, and the construction and scaffolding throughout the city indicated preparations for the Olympic Games. We could feel the anticipation building for this significant event. At that time, Paris was in the final phase of preparations for the 2024 Olympic Games. A countdown board displayed how many days remained, much like an advent calendar leading up to Christmas.

As a tourist, I shared the excitement with others about this grand event, which involved 10,500 participants and organisers who had worked incredibly hard. I felt compassion for the organisers and project managers, imagining the immense pressure they faced under the world’s watchful eyes to complete everything on time.

Paris hosted the Olympic Games twice before. The 1900 Olympics were significant as they were the first held outside Greece and marked the first participation of women. The 1924 Olympics in Paris saw a notable increase in the size and scope of the Games, with standardised rules and extensive media coverage worldwide.

The 2024 Olympic Games were a tremendous success. People remember it for many reasons. It was the first to achieve gender equality in participation. An equal number of female and male athletes participated in the world’s largest sporting event. I believe the organisers look back on their hard work with great satisfaction.

We anticipate a visit from the Kalahari

This year brings great excitement for my sister Ansa’s children. We agreed the time had arrived for Marga, a second-year student, and Altus, a tenth-grader, to visit us in Switzerland in December.

A significant amount of preparation and uncertainty is associated with this visit. Marga and Altus had to obtain passports as a first step. South Africa has many immigration requirements regarding the travel of minor children, such as Altus. The Van Zyl family had to drive 700 kilometres to Pretoria for the Schengen visa application, bringing a thick pack of forms and certified copies of critical documentation. Their appointment was early morning, which required them to overnight in Pretoria. They will repeat this journey to Johannesburg’s OR Tambo International Airport on December 9 for their Emirates flight.

There are many firsts associated with this visit for them. This visit will be their first flight experience, their first time outside the borders of South Africa, their first winter Christmas, and hopefully, their first snow experience. Additionally, they live in the Kalahari, where summer temperatures can easily exceed 40 degrees Celsius, and the winter is short. The frigid European winter weather and long cold days in a country where people speak a foreign language will undoubtedly be a new experience for them.

Meanwhile, we here in Switzerland are bubbling over with excitement. We regularly discuss everything we want to show them and the experiences we wish to share. The anticipation is immense, and we count the days until their arrival.

Anticipation poem

The beautiful poem by Patience Strong entitled Anticipation describes it so well.

Kind regards

Emsia

I believe our Creator designed the human experience to be shared and witnessed. We need others to be witnesses of our lives, just as we need to be witnesses of theirs. This mutual exchange is essential to the human experience.

“Shall We Dance” is a movie I first watched years ago during the midst of my divorce. It gave me so much to reflect on that I watched it several more times. (I admit that Richard Gere and his tango with Jennifer Lopez had something to do with that too.) In the film, a couple was going through a rough patch in their marriage. A character in the story curiously asked the wife what made her want to stay in the marriage. Her response helped me make sense of my feelings of loss.

We need a witness to our lives. There are 8 billion people on the planet … I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything — the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things … all of it, all the time, every day. You’re saying, ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.

We are all witnesses to other people’s lives

Being a witness to another person’s life is a significant responsibility. It means sharing in their love and joy, as well as their vulnerabilities and challenges. We gain insight, wisdom, and lessons from others’ experiences.

There are so many times we act as witnesses—sometimes with loved ones and other times through brief interactions in daily life. We witness lives through books, blogs, social media posts, and photos. We take on this role far more often than we realise.

Sometimes, being a witness is challenging

It’s not always easy to fulfil this role. We often compare our unique experiences to those of others, and through our lens, someone else’s life may appear idyllic or perfect. But without the complete picture, this can stir feelings of inadequacy, failure, injustice, or even feeling less loved.

It’s important to remember that each person has a unique life journey and purpose. Everybody must find their path and contribution to others and humanity. I often ask myself – am I making the most of the hand of cards life has dealt me?

Witnesses in a foreign country

Moving to Switzerland brought a deep sense of loss as I left behind friends and loved ones.

I reflected on the precious witnesses who had shared different phases of my life. Staying in touch was a priority, executed through my regular letters home. I am also a witness to their lives to the extent they allow. Every response, note, or message I received felt like a burst of colour in my day. It helped me during difficult times.

I made new friends in Switzerland, many of whom are also expats. We share in each other’s experiences, recognising and empathising with the distinctive situations and obstacles we encounter. We stand together and make sure everyone feels valued and connected.

Witnesses on social media

It wasn’t until I lived in a foreign country, where I struggled to understand the language, that I began to grasp the role of witnesses on social media. It fills the need for someone, somewhere, to at least be aware of your life and what you’re doing.

My South African friend in Switzerland, Marna, captured this sentiment perfectly in a Facebook post:

Our 18-month Swiss experience is coming to an end. As an expat in a foreign country, adapting to a new language and culture often means living outside your comfort zone. Being away from the familiar and your loved ones and friends can feel overwhelming. You are vulnerable to feeling lonely, unloved, aimless, unknown, and unappreciated.

There’s a deep discomfort in realising that your life isn’t shared or seen by those close to your heart. I shared all about our amazing European and Swiss adventures on social media. YOU, my social media friends, who took the time to respond positively or comment, did so much more than you may realise. You have all been a part of my journey as witnesses, and I am thankful for that.

For me, social media became a way to cope with the challenges of expat life. I see each post as a modern-day postcard! I encourage you to share your moments and memories. Send your postcards. I want to witness your life and celebrate those special moments with you. Life is better when shared with people who make your heart happy!

In conclusion

By witnessing each other’s lives, we see the good, the bad, the powerful, and the vulnerable. Together, these experiences shape what it means to be human. When we support and cheer one another, embracing both the perfect and the imperfect, it reminds us that we are all travellers in this journey we call life.

Kind regards

Emsia

She was a wife to her husband and a mother to her three sons. Amidst the daily chores of cooking, cleaning, and laundry, her soul longed for something more. She yearned to create something beautiful and vibrant. Her journey began to take shape when she reached out to her children’s elementary school art teacher. In the afternoons after school, she and the young students started learning about painting, exploring colours, and mastering techniques together.

This newfound passion led her to pursue more advanced art lessons. Art became her escape and therapy. She shared her love for colourful creations with friends, who painted with her once a week.

Twelve women

One night, she woke up with an unshakable feeling that she had to paint the portraits of twelve remarkable women from the Bible. She followed this calling, and the project occupied her for over a year. She had to choose the perfect paintings to represent a modern-day version of each woman. A friend encouraged her to study the stories of the twelve women from the Bible. The pandemic provided her with the time to dive deep into this study. Through this journey, she came to know these women as ordinary people who became extraordinary as part of God’s plan.

Women who inspire women

With this understanding, it became clear which painting represented each woman from the Bible. She combined her knowledge and artwork to create a Bible study journal about the twelve biblical women and even printed cards featuring their faces. LucahArt is the name she uses for her art. “Lucah” means “To bring Light.” She chose this name because she felt her friends had supported her and brought light to the project. She also hopes her art will bring light to others.

With ordinary to extraordinary as a theme, she and a friend decided to kick off women’s retreats at their beautiful beach house in Kleinmond. Here, many women found inspiration in the stories of these biblical figures, transforming their ordinary lives into something exceptional. These retreats have been life-changing for many women. She experienced a deep satisfaction in knowing she was fulfilling her life’s purpose.

Switzerland opportunity

An unexpected three-year work opportunity for her husband in Switzerland surprised her and left her with mixed feelings. While excited about the new experience, she couldn’t help but wonder, why now? In this new country, they faced many adjustments and had to learn many new things including language and culture.

Her husband encouraged her to bring the twelve paintings to Switzerland as well. She displayed them in her home. These paintings provided comfort and inspiration, especially during the long, cold winters when loneliness set in. She told me that her favourite woman from the series is Mary Magdalene. She felt a special connection to her, not only because of some similarities in their life stories but also because they shared the same name.

The Aucamps became involved with the Lift Church in Zug. They made wonderful friends and became part of a supportive Christian community.

International exhibition

Their church invited her to speak at a women’s evening, and I had the privilege of attending the event. The twelve paintings had a place of honour at the front of the hall, each displayed on a canvas atop an easel. Marna told me that her 22-year-old son had made the twelve easels during the pandemic as a project to keep him busy. Who could have ever imagined that they would one day support twelve biblical women in a Swiss church?

After Marna shared her own story, she recounted the stories of each of the twelve biblical women. In her presentation, she described the challenges that each woman faced. The audience had to guess who Marna was talking about. Then, she shared more about God’s plan for each woman and the impact of their actions on history. Finally, the audience broke into small groups to discuss which woman’s life story resonated with them the most.

Winds of Change

After 18 months in Switzerland, changes at her husband’s workplace required Wimpie’s knowledge and skills in South Africa for a critical project. They wrestled again with mixed feelings. One advantage is that they will be back in SA for their son’s wedding – the same son who made the easels for her paintings. Their departure is a significant loss for me. I will miss my Afrikaans friend in Switzerland dearly, as we acted as witnesses to each other’s lives here.

I find comfort in knowing that her paintings and messages will continue to touch many more women’s lives in South Africa. Her story, along with the stories of the women in the Bible, is a powerful testimony of how God can transform ordinary lives into extraordinary ones.

Kind regards

Emsia

As we drove through the gates along the familiar path, stopping in front of the big white house, I knew it would be my last visit. After my family picked me up at Upington Airport, we visited a beautiful retirement village, Belle Rio, along the banks of the Orange River. It is close to Kanoneiland, where my mom grew up.

I was looking forward to spending a few days alone with my mom. It also created an opportunity to discuss the plans for her next chapter with her. Once my sister and her family left for their farm, my mother looked at me seriously and said, “I don’t want to talk about this.“

Kathu

We moved to Kathu the year before I started school. The mine developed this new town, and everyone moved into new mine houses. As the new town developed, some people who did not work for the mine started to build private houses among the mine houses. One of the new private houses near our mine house had a modern architectural design and a beautiful camel thorn tree in the yard. My mom loved this house, and we often went to see how the construction was progressing.

Our own home

Years later, a “For Sale” sign appeared in front of the white house with blue gutters. My parents often had long and serious conversations after that; it was time for them to become homeowners. Shortly before my eleventh birthday, we moved to the new house, carrying everything across the street. For the first time, my sister and I each had our rooms. The swing my father built when we were toddlers also moved with us.

My dad, always a project man, turned this new house into his playground. He built new structures and arranged everything around the house practically and efficiently. He carefully laid out the garden for my mom, whose passion was gardening. People often referred to our home as the house with the beautiful garden. Every Friday after work, my dad would mow the lawn. I sometimes surprised him on Fridays by mowing the lawn before he returned home after work. The smell of freshly cut grass still takes me back to my childhood.

A garden full of cosmos flowers

I always dreamed of a wedding hall filled with cosmos flowers. My parents helped make this dream come true by planting the entire garden with cosmos flowers months before my wedding. My dad tended the garden, transforming the place into a pink and purple paradise.

I offered to mow the lawn the Friday before my wedding, but my dad declined. I felt slightly hurt when he sincerely explained, “Thank you, my love, but I want it done properly.”

We lost my dad at an early age

I lost my father to a heart attack shortly after my thirtieth birthday. He was only 57 years old and still busy building an awning for shade. We tried to find peace in the fact that he passed away doing what he loved.

My mom was the same age as I am now, and his death changed her whole life. She bravely took on all the responsibilities of maintaining the big house and garden. She decorated the home with the most beautiful paintings to help her see beauty in her pain.

As she grew older, managing everything became more difficult. We are grateful to everyone around her who is still compassionately willing to help with maintenance and repairs.

Our mom will celebrate her 80th next year

As my mom’s energy diminishes with age, maintaining the house and garden has become more challenging for her. Most of her friends have passed away in recent years, which has been a significant loss. She has always been loving and deeply involved in the school, community, and church.

We are concerned about her well-being and safety in Kathu, which has expanded due to the mining operations. As her children, we believe it is time for my mom to begin her next chapter. We envision her thriving in a community with pleasant peers, engaging activities, and fewer responsibilities.

Decisions about the last chapter

She needs time to close this chapter and say goodbye to the big white house, cherishing her memories in peace. While we can assist with many things, this is a task she must do on her own, just as she had to learn to live without my father.

Since we haven’t been in her shoes, we’ll give her the time and space to find her answer. My sister and I agreed to honour our mother’s request not to discuss the retirement village. We trust she will know when she is ready for the next chapter.

Kind regards

Emsia

Metaphors are powerful and can serve as valuable tools when we attempt to articulate intricate ideas for which we do not have the right words. When we incorporate metaphors into conversations or writing, they stimulate the imagination and facilitate the communication of emotions and impressions. Using metaphors, we can present familiar concepts in fresh, vibrant perspectives, subtly reshaping cognitive frameworks.

Recently, I participated in an exercise that challenged us to narrate significant aspects of our life journeys using symbols and metaphors. We were limited to five metaphors. It was a challenging task that forced me to think differently.

I chose the following five metaphors to represent aspects of my life story.

Metaphor 1 – Camel thorn pod

The first symbol I selected is the pod of a camel thorn tree. My roots trace back to Kathu in the Kalahari, nestled within a Camel Thorn Forest. The pod symbolises the security and nurturing environment I found in my parents’ home and community during my formative years. Our lifestyle was humble, grounded in a close connection to the earth.

The pod also represents versatility. Apart from nurturing new saplings, we harvested them for animal feed and as fuel for fires. Life in the Kalahari cultivated our problem-solving abilities and fostered a culture of innovation. Our parents instilled a strong work ethic and expected us to contribute to household chores. As a result, we have mastered several basic skills that have stayed with us throughout our lives.

Metaphor 2 – Calculator

The calculator symbolises the calculated way I approached my young adult life. I harboured specific notions about the trajectory of my life, particularly as a woman, envisioning how my career, marriage, and family would harmonise. Similarly to the processing by a calculator, I anticipated automatic outcomes to these aspects of my life.

Furthermore, the calculator embodies my career path within the financial sector. I worked at an auditing and accounting firm, assisting organisations in ensuring their financial statements reflect their financial health. However, I soon realised that while I thrived in the business world, my satisfaction stemmed from interactions with clients and colleagues rather than the tasks themselves. The outcomes in my profession deviated significantly from my initial expectations. The situation in my marriage was similar.

Metaphor 3 – Watering can

Gardening has always been a therapeutic outlet for me, offering valuable lessons. Among them, I have observed how a struggling plant in one part of my garden can thrive in a different environment with nourishment and ample water. This metaphor resonated deeply with me. Through tending to my garden, I have come to understand that my life’s purpose resembles that of a watering can. It is an instrument in the hands of God entrusted with nurturing others’ growth with love and care.

My journey began with an investment in my personal development through a Life Coaching course. The newfound knowledge and insight equipped me to help facilitate growth in other people. Initially, my focus turned to my children. Subsequently, after discussing my perspective with my boss, he facilitated a transition in my role at work. In my new role, I could actively contribute to the personal development of others. This shift brought me immense personal fulfilment.

Metaphor 4 – Pen

I discovered the enjoyment and value of writing early in my life. Writing is a valuable way to deal with the emotions that threaten to overwhelm me. It helps me make sense of what I feel. The paper or computer screen does not give advice. It listens without interruption and helps me gain perspective and answers. As we navigate life in Switzerland, my bi-weekly letters help me make sense of events, stay connected with people close to my heart, and preserve memories.

I realised that writing also allows me to impact other people’s lives with words. I plan to publish an eBook entitled Letters Home In the next few months. In it, I will explore the depths of our internal and external experiences and growth as a South African family living in a foreign country. I have weaved together the tapestry of our emotions, thoughts, and cultural encounters of our lives abroad.

Metaphor 5 – Clock

A clock serves as the perfect metaphor for our time spent in Switzerland. The environment epitomises structure and order, punctuality, and systems operating with Swiss precision. 

The initial fifty years of my life felt like a perpetual race against time. The situation has changed with our move to Switzerland. I received the one thing I had always yearned for — time. Focussing on my well-being and growth, I considered things that feed my heart and soul. I thought about ways to stay healthy and considered the knowledge and skills I wanted to expand. The process became a journey of self-discovery and intentional living.

The duration of our time in Switzerland is uncertain. It is a gift that could conclude abruptly at any moment and we see it as borrowed time.

The metaphor exercise helped me to think about my life story in pictures. Which items carry enough meaning as metaphors for you to summarise significant aspects of your life?

If a picture is worth a thousand words, a metaphor is worth a thousand pictures.

Regards

Emsia

With the arrival of spring, we see signs of new beginnings everywhere. The silence and loneliness of long, cold winter nights give way to happy sounds and signs of new life that are visible everywhere in nature. Buds appear on the trees, and flowers provide colour. Animals and insects awaken from their hibernation and instinctively know it is time to reproduce.

The Northern Hemisphere’s Easter in spring visibly brings home the message of new life. The emphasis is on awakening and new beginnings. People decorate the trees in their gardens with Easter eggs. The pastel-coloured eggs hidden among the blossoms emphasise the theme of renewal.

Animal life

Everywhere in nature are signs of new life and awakening, and blossoms and flowers colour the environment. Squirrels run energetically up and down trees while birds chirp happily in the trees from early morning. We see young animals everywhere. During a walk in the forest, I came across a deer cow and two calves. The surprise to see each other was mutual. Lambs and calves can be seen everywhere on the farms.

Amphibians

In early spring, signs reading “Mind the Frogs” are erected along various country roads in Switzerland. Charl noticed these signs on his route to work with the forest on one side and a golf course on the other. Barriers on the side of the road prevented the frogs from crossing. These amphibians hibernate in the forest during winter and then migrate to their breeding grounds in early spring.

One morning, while on his way to work, Charl witnessed a Susy Utzinger Animal Welfare Foundation helper collecting frogs and salamanders and carrying them across the road. A resident in our apartment complex also sent a message to the other residents to explain where the frogs’ migration routes are and requested them to drive carefully.

Hedgehogs

There are also similar awareness boards for the hedgehogs which awake from hibernation. Hedgehogs, considered an endangered species, receive protection in Switzerland. People welcome these nocturnal creatures into their gardens as they play a vital role in insect and snail control.

In Switzerland, automatic lawnmowers pose a threat to hedgehogs. These animals are nocturnal, but the adolescents roam during the day. When they spot a lawnmower as a potential threat, they instinctively curl into a ball with a fatal end.

Birds

Red hawks circle the freshly ploughed fields, looking for their next meal in the form of mice or moles. The crows feel threatened by the red hawks, and we have stood amazed and watched how the crows brazenly try to attack these birds of prey in the air and chase them away. I get the idea that our area also serves as a flying school for the red hawks, and we enjoy watching how the parents teach their young to fly with great patience.

The woodpecker bird’s distinctive hum as it beats and drums on rotting wood is something I will always associate with spring in Switzerland. We were excited when we saw a swan on her eggs by the lake. The eggs only hatch after six weeks. The young swans have a dark grey colour and only turn white after their second summer.

Blossoms and flowers

The arrival of spring heralds the emergence of the first flowers, snowdrops, crocuses, and daffodils. However, as anticipation builds for the season, another unexpected snow flurry often descends. Yet, it is truly inspiring to witness these resilient blooms pushing through the snow, bravely showcasing their vibrant colours to the world. Magnolia trees grace us with their blossoms from the third week of March, lingering until early April. Over time, various flowers adorn the landscape, painting it with breathtaking hues. 

Roses in seven Zurich fountains

In the week leading up to Easter, the Reformed Churches in Zurich adorn several fountains with roses. This practice began in 2021 amidst the height of the pandemic to instil hope during challenging times. Fast forward to 2024, amidst continued global uncertainty, the need for hope and peace remains. The tradition’s motto, “Ohne Dornen kein Rosen” (without thorns, no roses), underscores the resilience and beauty that can emerge from adversity.

Easter Eggs

In a country renowned for its chocolate, Easter eggs and Easter bunnies take centre stage. As early as March, shops become adorned with multicoloured Easter eggs, creating a vibrant display. Chocolate brands compete to offer the most exquisite Easter baskets adorned with bunnies and eggs. These delectable chocolate creations are almost too beautiful to indulge in and serve as stunning gifts. Businesses often present these exquisite creations as corporate gifts, adding a touch of sweetness to the season.

Easter celebrates new life

Easter, coupled with the arrival of spring, carries a profound message of renewal for Christians worldwide. It symbolizes the triumph of life over death, offering a powerful celebration of new beginnings and hope.

Kind regards

Emsia

I’ve always had a deep affection for stories. My earliest memories include the bedtime tales my mom read to me and the radio stories I listened to in the mornings. My dad’s anecdotes about his dorm antics never failed to make me laugh, offering a glimpse into the youthful and adventurous side of the responsible father I know. Even now, I derive immense pleasure, life lessons, and profound insights from books, movies, and the stories shared by others.

The significant role of stories in my life

I realise the significant role stories play in my life. My recall of events and situations influences how I feel about them and shapes my behaviour. Stories about shared experiences often foster a sense of connection and can even transform strangers into friends. Research shows that storytelling activates various brain parts and enhances our memory capabilities.

Writing regular letters home compels me to transform events in my life into stories. Several stories are characterized by positivity, joy, and serenity, whereas others exhibit uncertainty, disappointment, and loss. Within these stories, I contemplate the lessons or insights I’ve gleaned. I’ve learned not to share a personal story with others until I’ve processed all the events and outcomes myself and achieved a sense of peace about it.

Narrative Therapy

Fifteen years ago, I undertook a life coaching course right before my two eldest sons entered their teenage years. I needed to equip myself as a mother for this crucial phase as best as possible. Pursuing the Life Coaching Diploma was one of the most valuable investments I made in myself. It guided me in processing the hurts and disappointments I had been carrying up to that point, enabling me to approach my sons’ teenage years with greater readiness and understanding.

Last year, I came across the Narrative Pastoral Therapy course offered by Caritas in Mossel Bay. Recognizing the potential benefits, especially its use of storytelling in therapy, I felt drawn to it. Towards the end of the year, my South African friend Marna, who lives in Switzerland, informed me that we could participate in the course online from Switzerland. Marna and I joined the Zoom sessions conducted in Afrikaans from Mossel Bay. While bundled up in our thick sweaters to combat the Swiss winter, our fellow participants wrestled with staying cool amidst the summer heat.

Narrative Therapy teaches us to distinguish between the Person and the Problem. The Problem should not define the Person’s identity. Instead, the problem has its own identity, and by understanding its tactics through storytelling, we can more effectively separate ourselves from it.

This approach helped me grasp the Black Dog metaphor for depression. This metaphor illustrates how depression shadows its owner, akin to a loyal companion. Winston Churchill popularized the term Black Dog, attributing some of his challenges and periods of inactivity to his companion.

Weeds in my Garden

Many years ago, I have experienced bitterness in my life. I read a story that created a parallel between negative thoughts and weeds in a garden. The weeds multiply and replace the flowers and shrubs if you don’t get rid of them quickly. With my love of flowers and gardening, the story resonated with me. I could vividly imagine bitterness suffocating all traces of contentment and happiness.

During spring, weeds blanketed our expansive lawn. Determined to reclaim the space, I dedicated a weekend to weed removal. By the end, my body ached from the exertion, but a sizable pile of weeds, harbouring my bitterness, lay before me. I set the weed pile on fire to get rid of it for good. The power of the metaphor and the physical exercise were excellent therapy for me.

We own the copyright to our own stories

The narratives we craft about ourselves do not exist in isolation. Circumstances and interactions with others shape them. When someone treats us poorly, their negative influence often lingers in our self-perception. While we may not alter the narratives others hold about us, we can influence the stories we tell about ourselves and those we cherish.

We own the copyright to our stories. We must rework and rewrite the storylines that define our identity.

Stories help us get to know each other better

I think it’s good that we share our stories when we’re comfortable with it. It helps us to get to know each other on a deeper level.

When we share our stories, they remind us of the humanity in each other. When we take the time to understand each other’s stories, we become more forgiving and have more compassion and empathy for each other.

Regards

Emsia

Upon arriving for a short visit to South Africa, my former Maths teacher, Elsa, invited my mom and me to her farm. Accompanied by several women who played significant roles in my childhood, we sang Christmas carols and shared personal anecdotes that underscored the grace we had experienced. During difficult times, amazing grace manifests itself through people, opportunities, and situations.

Elsa’s story of immense grace

Elsa’s story of immense grace struck me. Her farm had tragically burned down shortly before our visit. She wasn’t at home during the fire. Numerous people offered help in various ways. Remarkably, only the hectare of land housing her farmhouse and farm workers’ houses remained untouched by the flames. She had lost her husband to cancer, and her farmhouse carries a lifetime of stories and memories shared with him. These shared stories shaped the focus of my thoughts on the grace in my life.

My mom

Circumstances granted me the privilege of spending time with my mom. Age has a peculiar manner of highlighting the impermanence of life and the grace found in moments spent with your parents. Seeing all the structures built by my dad, who died 25 years ago, two days after Christmas, highlighted this realisation for me. In the shade of the camel-thorn tree of my mom’s garden, we reminisced about anecdotes from the past. I am grateful for my joyous childhood years spent in the Kalahari. You don’t get to choose your parents or the place of your upbringing. There is enormous grace in a happy childhood.

My sister and her kids

Upon learning of my visit to Cape Town in early December, my sister’s daughter, Marga, decided to sell her Matriekbaai ticket. She gave up a week with school friends to celebrate the end of her school years, in exchange for time with family. We all miss our annual holidays together. We saw this as an opportunity to visit our favourite spots and enjoy the Cape Town sun and sea.

From Blouberg, we marvelled at the iconic silhouette of Table Mountain, creating a picturesque backdrop to our time together. Jacques encouraged Marga and Altus to brave the cold Atlantic waters. Exploring the V&A Waterfront, we admired the traditional and colourful South African Christmas decorations and dances.

We also took the opportunity to visit Christo’s student hangouts and enjoy the beautifully decorated cakes from Jacques’ business, The Cinnamon Club.

Jacques

Jacques finished his student years and was ready to start working during the pandemic. As an entrepreneur, he decided to start the Cinnamon Club, a bakery focusing on vegan and gluten-free baked goods. Despite many economic and electricity challenges in South Africa, the business did well. Jacques is now ready to expand to business premises at Woodstock Exchange. I am grateful to have been able to share with him the moment he received the key to the premises. He has received so much grace in his business, and I wish him continued success.

Christo

Christo was halfway through his 12th grade when we moved to Switzerland. Only two months after he started his university journey, the Covid pandemic hit the world. His student years were particularly challenging. Attending his graduation filled me with gratitude and emotion. This achievement would not have been possible without the support of many people in his life. I see a lot of grace in the individuals who shared this journey with him. He had the love, support and encouragement of his girlfriend, Simone. Moreover, he has supportive engineering student friends who lightened the academic demands with humour and social distractions.

I am grateful for the partners in parenting and that I could celebrate the occasion with Christo’s dad and his family.

Partners in Parenting

Despite our decision to part ways years ago, Gert and I maintained our commitment to co-parenting. Our partnership has expanded to include four parents with distinct personalities, perspectives, and individual realities. It was sometimes challenging, but we always acted with the boys’ best interests at heart. Nevertheless, I am convinced that having four parents has significantly enhanced the boys’ lives, broadening their perspectives in numerous ways. I am sincerely grateful to Charl for his rationality, insight and wisdom in raising the boys.

Jacques lived with Gert and Denise for a long time during the pandemic. Denise’s wisdom and Gert’s knowledge and experience as an entrepreneur and businessman gave direction and clarity to Jacques’ life and career.

Christo gave the following acknowledgement in his thesis.  To my parents, Gert and Emsia, and their partners, Denise and Charl, thank you for providing me with the opportunity to be able to write this acknowledgement as I prepare myself for the final submission of my undergraduate degree. Thank you Dad for always keeping me on my toes and thinking critically. Thank you Mom for always being available when I want to phone, and helping me with life’s problems as I become an adult.

A new year

We all enter a new year with a clean slate. Just like other years, this year will also bring challenges. We don’t know its nature and extent. However, I walk into it confidently because I know that the grace received in my life has consistently exceeded the challenges.

May it be a beautiful and graceful new year.

Regards

Emsia