30 October 2018

Big, difficult decisions often cross your life path unexpectedly. They cause a change in direction. Their impact on you is significant, but also on people close to you. The big, difficult decisions cause nights of lying awake in bed and hours of listing and analysing the pros and cons. The decision is ultimately made based on a knowing deep inside you. The words of this knowing are limited, which makes it challenging to explain the decision.

Such a big and difficult decision has now come our way. An opportunity presented itself for Charl to work in Switzerland for a few years. The impact of this is significant.

The impact on my sons

The biggest is for sure on Jacques and Christo. Jacques has at least found his feet as a student at North-West University, but Christo must complete his final school year and then commence with his student years at Stellenbosch University. My sons are independent young men, but my mother-heart is bleeding for them.

The impact on my family

The impact on my mother and sister, Ansa, is also huge. With them living in the Kalahari and us in the Western Cape, distance is no longer a stranger. Our annual get-togethers, sometimes in the Cape and sometimes in the Kalahari, are my yearly highlight. That is the week we forget about our responsibilities, have fun, talk non-stop, laugh, and drink ginger tea in the garden. That week Ansa’s farm children learn more about city life, or my city children learn about farm life, depending on where we visit.

Cell phone technology enables us to stay in contact. We plan to stick to our rhythm of hanging out in South Africa once a year, and hopefully, they can visit us once in Switzerland. Our move creates an excellent opportunity for Ansa’s children to have an international flight and a European experience.

Opportunity

Charl is very excited about the work opportunity. Zander is sad saying goodbye to his friends and rugby. I am concerned about his adaptability as an Afrikaans boy in an international school. However, I know that children are much more adaptable than we think. Charl will start working in Zurich early in the new year, but Zander and I will join him much later so that I to be with Christo for most of his final school year.

It saddens me to leave my family and wonderful friends behind. We have built precious friendships over the past twenty years around the sports field and after church on Sundays. How do I say farewell to our home and its lovely garden where my children grew up?

October is the most beautiful month

My dad always said: “October is the most beautiful month of all!”. At first, I thought it was because of Spring, but I understand better now. It was the thirteenth-check month at work. October also turned out to be a red-letter month for me. On a late Thursday afternoon in October, my life journey began. The Swiss opportunity came knocking on our door in October, and next October, I will most likely be celebrating my fiftieth birthday in Switzerland.

It is a difficult decision, but we must seize the opportunity. I am sorry about the impact on the people I love. They do not even have a choice in the matter. We do not know how it will turn out, but we know that such an experience will contribute to our personal growth and perspective on a changing world.

Writing helps me process change

The best way for me to process change is to write about it. I realised this twenty-five years ago when we worked in London for two years, and it was my only affordable way to stay in touch with my family and friends. In those years, we used ordinary letters in an envelope with a postage stamp. We could still rely on the South African postal service.

I promise to be in contact and share more about our inner and outer journeys.

Kind regards

Emsia