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Author: emsia.kruger

Celebrate life’s special moments

Celebrate life’s special moments

“We are engaged!” read the WhatsApp message early on a Sunday morning. This message filled us with joy and excitement as we loved Candice like our children. Her life path has been full of challenges, but her resilience and positivity have always served as an inspiration. We wanted to be part of this joyous wedding celebration.

Celebration of friendship and a 21st birthday

The wedding date of 5 March created the opportunity to celebrate other events in person in South Africa. We took advantage of the Swiss school’s ski holiday and exchanged snow for the sun. During our time in the Western Cape, we celebrated friendships and Christo’s special 21st birthday in my beloved Stellenbosch.

Celebration of wonderful childhood memories

It was a great privilege to spend time with my mom and sister in our childhood house. In Kathu, we visited places where memories originated and discussed the impact of time on the town. In the same way, I could laugh with old schoolmates who still live in Kathu about how time impacted us.

A special place is the golf course with its beautiful large thorn trees. When the marketing manager heard that we were from Switzerland, he offered us golf carts to drive around the golf course.

We enjoyed the curious meerkats and springboks who made this lovely place their home. We celebrated my mom’s birthday with a large piece of cake at the Kalahari Country Club‘s restaurant.

I greeted my hometown through the window of a small plane while looking at the beautiful views from above.

Tristan and Candice

We met Tristan during their visit in December 2019. They were excited about the opportunity to teach in Thailand. However, Covid-19 affected their plans and created many challenges and losses. The biggest of these is the loss of Justin, Candice’s beloved brother, who died at age 25.

During the Covid-19 lockdown, Tristan and Candice stayed with Tristan’s parents and spent time with his grandparents. Tristan and Candice have shared many stories about the family and the special friends in their lives. Meeting all the special people confirmed how our Heavenly Father sends the right people across our path to love, support and care for us in different ways.

These friends who supported them in their darkest times, gathered excitedly to celebrate their wedding with them.

The wedding was a celebration of joy

Their wedding was in Leeupoort, a holiday village in the Bushveld. The tranquillity in the game reserve, where zebras and warthogs graze between the houses and chalets, was soul food for everyone.

Zander attended his school in Zurich online during the week before the wedding. After his maths session, Zander asked if he could show the teacher the zebras and warthogs behind him on the screen. The teacher responded with surprise, “Wow, that is wild!” 

The wedding was a celebration of joy under the large thorn trees in which the birds sang. A few nyala antelopes approached curiously to witness Tristan and Candice’s marriage vows to each other.

Celebrate what is good in our lives

I had time for reflection during the return flight. The wedding and various celebrations reminded me that we must take time to celebrate what is good in our lives. The following words of Khalil Gibran came to mind:

Kind regards

Emsia

My catalyst for growth is turning 21

My catalyst for growth is turning 21

The Lord blessed me with Christo as my catalyst for personal growth, 21 years ago. He was born with a lot of passion, intelligence, and creativity. We called him man-with-a-plan from an early age because there has never been a shortage of plans. As an extrovert, there were always team members involved in his projects.

Pre-primary

After only a few months in pre-primary school, his teacher requested a meeting with us as parents. She explained that he had a large flame burning inside him. She also emphasized that we, as parents have a huge responsibility to ensure that Christo’s flame burns in the right direction.

When I picked him up after work at aftercare, he usually asked if I could come back a little later because he was still playing. He and his friends were always busy with a project on the playground.

As a 5-year-old, he set up a stall outside the school to sell his artwork. Some moms supported him out of the goodness of their hearts. However, the school informed me about his sales activities and that they were against the school rules.

Primary school

During the primary school years of Christo, Mr Lee, responsible for the school discipline, and I got to know each other well. I remember his first call after a game day at school so well. Christo wondered what would happen if he put paintball balls that he found in the games area in the exhaust pipe of the car of a young teacher. The teacher was furious when a learner informed him of the plan of Christo.

We agreed that I would drive behind the teacher to the exhaust system shop to compensate for all the damage after school. When Christo got in the car, he asked,

“Mom, can you please wait until the teacher ignites the engine? I want to see what is going to happen with the paintball balls.”

Fortunately for us, the mechanic reassured everyone that there was no damage.

However, it was not the only call from Mr Lee. I got heart palpitations when I saw Mr Lee trying to call me. Christo was fortunately good at Mathematics, and he and Mr Lee had a special relationship.

High school

Christo’s best way of learning is to explain facts to others. He explained his history or biology to me on our way to school. It contributed to my entertainment and general knowledge. 

He entertained Zander with science experiments on the garden table. I feared an explosion.  Outside his room, he was growing Cannabis plants and tried to distil brandy using fermented fruit. Next to his computer was a Rasberry Pie with a blue light flickering. I kept my distance from all the cables.

His motorbike provided a lot of freedom. However, I spent a lot of time in prayer for his safety. During his final school year, just before we moved to Switzerland, he and I agreed that I would drive him to school again so we could talk and listen to his music in the car. We also had a coffee date once a week.

His openness and honesty about all the events in his life broadened my perspective and understanding of many topics.

University

We went to Switzerland just before his last school exam. Many people helped and supported him, but his dependency on his ability to plan was crucial. He had to tackle university life independently and struggled through Covid restrictions.

This year, he is a third-year engineering student on his residence’s house committee, responsible for technology and spirit. He also developed a HelsHealth application for the Men’s Residence to monitor Covid-19 in their Helshoogte residence.

I am very proud of him and grateful for his personal growth despite the increase in my grey hair. Because of him, my knowledge increased, and I learned to look at situations from different perspectives. My children have been teachers in so many ways.

I hope the Lord also blesses him with little boys full of passion and plans because he will be an excellent dad.

regards

Emsia

We are all ambassadors of something

We are all ambassadors of something

Zander woke up early and was excited to go to school. He had to meet a new learner from Korea at school, explain how everything works and help him find his way. Zander said,

“Mom, I remember how freaked out I was on my first day at the new school. I can only imagine how stressed he must be. I hope we can understand each other’s English.”

ICS Student Ambassadors

The families at Zander’s school live in Zurich for an average of 3 to 5 years. As a result, there are often people coming and going. A new beginning in a new country with a foreign language is overwhelming because everything feels strange and different. Foreigners must make many lifestyle changes. It helps if someone who has been through the situation, patiently explains how everything works and helps you find your feet.

The Inter-Community School (ICS) understands the adjustment required and consequently has the concept of Student Ambassadors. Before the new learners arrive, the Student Ambassadors must contact the learners and their parents by email. Zander is one of the many ICS Zurich Student Ambassadors.

Zander enjoys the role very much and is excited about every new learner. He has already welcomed new learners from the USA, UK and Korea.

Ambassadors of our countries

We form first impressions about a person and the place they represent when we meet them. Every person acts as an ambassador of his country and origin. We enjoy travelling to foreign countries, and the people we have interacted with shaped my opinions on places and contributed to my memories.

Brazil

We explored the coast of Brazil during a cruise holiday. The ship docked at a coastal town for a few hours, and we wanted to visit a beach. We used Uber transport and hoped the technology platform would overcome language issues. The Uber driver used his Google App to translate his Portuguese into English and convinced us to go to a beach that is a favourite amongst the locals just outside of town.

We decided to take the risk but became more nervous as he drove further away from the ship. A few kilometres outside the town, he stopped to our relief at the most beautiful beach and offered to wait for us. He socialised with his friends, the owners of a beachfront restaurant, while we swam in the warm tropical waters.

On the way back, he played tour guide and showed us historical buildings while telling us about the town’s history. He was an example of someone who finds joy and purpose in his work and an excellent ambassador for his village and country.

Italy

With a visit to the Lombardy wine district in Italy, a planning slip caused us some challenges. We forgot to renew our international driver’s license and were consequently dependent on public transport. Our accommodation was high up on a mountain, and that made it difficult to get to the shops and train station in the valley.

Upon our arrival, the manager of the Wine Hotel in Sondrio picked us up at the train station. After that, they helped us with transportation plans every morning. They lent us electric bikes and asked different people to take us as part of their ride to town. Even the mom of the girl who completed her tourism internship at the hotel had a turn. We want to return with our car and thank them again for their hospitality.

Malawi

Many people who come from other African countries work in South Africa. Our first gardener was from Malawi, and he made an incredibly positive impression on us. After him, we appointed Samuel, also from Malawi. Samuel and I got along very well. He told me about his country and its people, and we still have contact. Because of him and his predecessor, I believe that people from Malawi are friendly, hardworking, and honest. I imagine it to be a beautiful country, even though I’ve never been there! A visit to Malawi is on my bucket list.

We are all ambassadors

We are all ambassadors of countries, regions, and organizations. Our actions speak much louder than words and impact people’s impressions, opinions, and experiences. In this role, we sometimes unknowingly leave lasting memories with others.

Regards

Emsia

South Africa through new eyes

South Africa through new eyes

As the plane descended, I saw Table Mountain on one side and green vineyards on the other. We were home. I enjoyed the summer sun on my skin. I smiled behind my mask over the jokes in Afrikaans as everyone tried to find the required Covid paperwork in their backpacks.

My Customs experience

My heart was pounding in my throat when the Customs officer called out to Zander and me. Our bags were full of gifts I had collected over the past 30 months as an antidote to longing. The man took our passports and filled out a form. “Are you returning home for Christmas, Madam?” he asked in his Xhosa accent. I nodded and mentioned that my boys were waiting for us in the arrival hall.

He finished and looked me in the eyes. The man welcomed me back to South Africa and expressed the most sincere blessings over our visit and togetherness in Afrikaans. He let us go. This unexpected compassion caused a crack in my emotional dam wall.

This dam wall finally broke when I pressed my boys’ young men’s bodies tightly against me. For the first time in a long time, words that have become my lifeline were unnecessary.

Green, green grass of home

In the car, I marvelled at the green surroundings. We moved to Switzerland during a prolonged drought that left the landscapes and moods in South Africa colourless. South Africa has recently received a lot of rain that caused the rivers and the dams to overflow. The smell of wet soil and beautiful wildlife on my family’s farm was a great blessing, and the thunder and spray of the water mass at the Augrabies Falls was a bucket-list experience.

Covid impact on my country and its people

Covid left its mark on my country and its people. On our flight to SA, I noticed many young people and families with small children. Most grandparents have never seen these little ones. The impact of isolation and insecurity on especially older people saddened me.

Yet, I have observed a greater understanding and compassion between different generations and cultures. Christo confirmed my observations. He is a member of Helshoogte residence’s House Committee, and they constantly update their residence vision and mission to accommodate cultural, religious, and sexual differences and preferences.

They make each other aware and debate what cooperation should look like in a future South Africa.

With his parents far away, Christo had to stay with other young men in the same situation in residence during lockdown for long periods. They were each other’s family and consequently got to know each other better as human beings.

Medicine for the soul

As humans, we need a balance between familiarity and adventure. South Africa, and love and care from family and friends were like medicine for the soul. In the Kalahari, my mother and sister and her family spoiled us in every way imaginable.

My sons treated me like a queen. Jacques provided delicious and creative vegetarian dishes while I could sit back. Christo did all the driving and was the problem solver of everyday challenges.

Zander and my conclusion after our visit

Before our return, Zander stayed with George, his old friend and neighbour. They swam until late, played and made jokes. 

His conclusion afterwards was spot-on. He said,

“ Mom, it felt like all the emotion stuck in my chest had been finally released. What is left is a feeling of contentment. I now feel ready to return to Switzerland and face new challenges.”

We received all the blessings and prosperity that the officer at Customs wished us. I look with new eyes at the beauty of my country and its people.

I look forward to helping build a future with the people of South Africa after our season in Switzerland has ended.

Regards

Emsia

The Christmas bag full of emotions

The Christmas bag full of emotions

During the festive season, my emotional highs and lows are usually intense. However, the flight restrictions almost pushed me over. The recent updates to the Swiss rules suddenly make a SA visit possible again. My heart rejoices!

As a result, many families whose children are studying or working in other countries may be together for Christmas. I am grateful to everyone who encouraged and supported me with positivity and hope. I pray with those who are still waiting in uncertainty for good news.

The festive season in Switzerland

The festive season experience in Switzerland is exceptional, with many traditions and customs. The Swiss Christmas winter experience is different from the South African summer Christmas experience.

Switzerland’s winter evenings are particularly long and cold. At 5 pm, it is dark, and the morning only arrives by 8 am. Fortunately, the streets and houses are creatively decorated with Christmas trees and lights to create a festive atmosphere. People can enjoy cheese fondue or raclette in the wooden chalets that pop up during the advent season.

On the last Thursday of every November, the authorities in Zurich switch on the festive lights, and the Christmas markets open. The whole atmosphere becomes warm, cosy, and enchanting. The smell of hot mulled wine hangs in the air, and chestnuts, fried on the open fire, are for sale at all the “Heisse Marroni” stalls.

Christmas as a child

Samichlaus is the German-Swiss version of Santa Claus. In December, the Jelmoli tram rides through Zurich, and children can listen to stories by Santa and his angel helpers. Samichlaus also visits the kindergartens and some primary schools and appears at points in the forest during the first week of December. I can only imagine how real and exciting Santa must be through the eyes of young children.

Christmas as an adult

As a parent, you do everything to create this enchantment with lights, atmosphere, and gifts for your children. With time you learn there is an outer festive season with trees and lights and an inner festive season inside your mind. Sometimes the inner and outer moods conflict. You carry a heavy bag full of emotions and are relieved when the end of the festive season arrives.

Everyone you want around the Christmas table is not there for different reasons. Covid made its contribution in various ways. In addition, ego instead of love unfortunately still dominates many relationships and situations because we are all only human.

I do not think there is a perfect Christmas. It’s just as perfect as you see it.

Every person sitting with you around the Christmas table is a gift if you look closely. Covid taught us to look differently. If we look at this festive season with gratitude and love and appreciate its true meaning, our inner festive season will be full of light and gratefulness.

Kalahari Christmas

We are hoping for a summer Christmas in the Kalahari this year. I look forward to being with the people close to my heart.

In my imaginary picture, the stars in the sky will be our Christmas lights. Everyone’s familiar voices are going to be our Christmas music. Our togetherness and love for one another will be our greatest gift to one another.

During all this uncertainty, I must constantly remind myself that the Christmas in my heart is the determining one, regardless of the place, season or people with me. I, therefore, have to work hard on the thoughts that impact my inner festive season. May the way I look at Christmas be my gift to myself.

May it be a blessed holiday season for you and your loved ones, wherever you are.

Regards
Emsia

A snow blanket comforted me

A snow blanket comforted me

I saw my sons and family more than two years ago. Our planned visit to SA consequently keeps my heart and mind busy. It is the fifth time we are trying to fly to SA, and I was hopeful. The disappointing news about Omicron and flight restrictions was like a nightmare. Every news article wanted to suffocate me, and I struggled to sleep and hold my tears. However, the snow came softly and wrapped me comfortingly in a white blanket.

Snow is enchanting

Snow, especially the first snow, is enchanting. The coloured landscape becomes monochrome when snowflakes fall lightly like feathers to the ground. The silence that comes with the pristine pure white landscape is sacred. Snowfall initially creates a feeling of calm and then excitement. Children laugh, and adults talk. Families build snowmen and boast about their creations.

Zander and his friends enjoy the snow with their sledges after school and on weekends. In the evenings, he is hungry, cold, and tired. It takes good planning to get his snow jacket, pants and gloves dry again before the next day. Charl and I enjoy walking in the snow. Fresh snow crunches under your shoes.

During November, preparations commence for the expected snow. The farmers plough the fields, and the municipality plants red wickets to indicate the roads in the white landscape. Lights and Christmas decorations make their appearance and give a fairytale-like feel.

Safety in snow

After a snowfall, road scrapers, with their orange warning lights, scrape the roads, sidewalks, and train stations starting early in the morning so that people can continue their daily activities. As soon as the snow starts melting, the night temperatures cause it to freeze to a slippery ice layer which is very dangerous to walk on. There is a high occurrence of knee, hip, and wrist incidents in these conditions. We now understand the need for warm waterproof shoes with thick soles.

Motor vehicles have a set of tires for summer and a separate set of tires for winter. Chains increase traction control when driving in snow or ice. Similar chains are available for shoes to walk on slippery surfaces. Even the trains sometimes slip on their tracks due to the snow or ice.

Snow means a lot more to me than just white flakes

During our first December in Switzerland, my children’s visit was my big Christmas present. The first snow began to fall the day after their arrival. Just before bedtime, the first snowflakes appeared from the sky. As South Africans, we are not used to snow. It was, therefore, our first snow experience and an enchanting, shared experience! We played outside like children and enjoyed the snow on our faces and tongues.

This year’s snow has more meaning to me than just white flakes. The white blanket helped me calm down. I experience inner peace and a knowing that everything will work out as it should. There are no guarantees, but I have hope that should carry me through the uncertainty.

I hope you also get your sign of hope that will bring you peace and joy for the festive season.

Regards

Emsia

Creativity is intelligence having fun

Creativity is intelligence having fun

During the past two years, Creativity introduced itself to me. I have drawn a lot of enjoyment and value from the relationship. My relationship with Creativity was a perfect example of the expression – “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear”.

Since I do not consider myself a creative person, the following words by the author Kurt Vonnegut speak to me:

“Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow. Being good at things is not the point of doing them. I think you got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teach you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”

I have not focused too much on creative activities in the past. I blamed it on a lack of time and creative abilities. The Covid lockdown forced me to find something to do. I started focusing more on taking pictures, writing, experimenting with new recipes and painting with acrylic paint.

Pictures

With pictures, I decide on a subject and then try to capture it through my lens from different angles. Sometimes it’s a season, place, occasion, or time of day or year. I try various techniques that force me to look at everyday objects differently. A level of detail I have never noticed suddenly becomes visible to me. It excites me to observe the colour, design, and patterns of things in nature that are constantly changing. I shared my observations in my letter entitled Photography as a teacher of the art of observation.

Baking and Cooking

Since I must cook every day, I decided to incorporate more creativity. The fresh produce on the store shelves is seasonal and constantly changing. As soon as something new appears, I try to find recipes to test it out. The Swiss, for example, have Spätzli, which is almost like pasta, with seasonal vegetables. I also regularly try new variations with Gnocchi and Risotto.

My eldest son has a Vegan Bakery, the Cinnamon Club, that bakes the most beautiful cakes. I am constantly amazed by the creative outcomes. I share more about this in my letter Cooking with love, inspired by my son.

Painting

My painting efforts are still at the Grade 1 level. We started Paint-by-Numbers as a winter month entertainment project. I enjoyed it so much that I acquired paint, brushes and paper. The outcomes are not yet something I am willing to show, but I find the process enjoyable. My latest pictures are more of an abstract nature and develop as I go along. I enjoy abstract artwork more since there is less room for visible mistakes.

Pleasure in creativity

I’m still a beginner in many respects, but the enjoyment and positivity I experience when I do it are invaluable! There is a lot of personal satisfaction in trying something new and seeing how you progress. It is also very relaxing and transfers me to a different world. I had to accept that I was doing this simply for the enjoyment of it and had to send my inner critic away as far as possible.

I like Albert Einstein’s expression, “Creativity is intelligence having fun”. Creativity helps me to look at the world and objects around me in new ways. I suddenly find correlations between things I never noticed before. I am more aware of and find joy in the little things.

All of us can benefit from the relationship with Creativity and should invest more time in this fun friendship.

regards

Emsia

Budapest was a feast for our senses

Budapest was a feast for our senses

I prefer experiences as gifts. It is immortalized in our memory and cannot be broken or stolen. This year, a visit to Budapest was my birthday gift and one I could share. We travelled on the overnight train through Austria to Budapest.

Budapest is known for its historical sites, including the Chain Bridge, which connects Buda and Pest on either side of the Danube River. The central part of Budapest along the Danube has been declared a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The city has an enormous thermal groundwater system with about 80 thermal springs. Hungary is one of the more affordable countries in Europe because it is not yet part of the Eurozone. Their currency is the Forint.

Overnight train experience

The overnight train experience was a first for me. Due to the high volume of bookings, I ended up in a sleeping cabin other than Charl and Zander. I shared the 4-person sleeping cabin with three young German women. Fortunately, one of them could speak English well and helped me with information. The following morning, I had the opportunity to get to know Melanie better while drinking coffee. She is a travel blogger and owner of the blog goodmorningworld.de. As a result, she was able to give me many travel tips about Budapest.

Upon our arrival at the beautiful Budapest train station, she informed me that masks in Hungary are not mandatory.

Great Market Hall and Hungarian food

Our first stop was at the Great Market Hall, consisting of three floors. Traders sell fresh products, gifts, clothes, backpacks, and Hungarian street food. Many stalls sell Paprika which traditionally comes in eight different flavour profiles. There are lace embroidery and Russian dolls too. 

We had the Hungarian Langos for lunch and loved it. It is dough fried in oil and tastes just like South African vetkoek. On top of the flat vetkoek are cream cheese, grated cheese and any other topping of choice. I also tried the goulash soup, which reminded me of my mother’s soup with pieces of meat.

Castle hill

We visited Castle Hill in the late afternoon, where we had the most beautiful views of the city. It is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and contains medieval monuments and museums. The 13th-century royal palace is impressive. We, unfortunately, missed the “Changing of the Guards” ceremony but at least saw two men in royal outfits on their horses.

Parliament building and Jewish shoes memorial

I admired the symmetry and detail of Budapest’s parliament building on the banks of the Danube River. It is the third-largest parliament building in the world and is very impressive.

Close to the Parliament building is a memorial of shoes that moved me immensely. It is in memory of the Jews who lost their lives during World War II. The Jews had to take off their shoes before being shot on the riverbank. 

Szechenyi Spa Baths

Hungary is known for its thermal baths, and the Roman settlers built the first baths. The Szechenyi Baths and the beautifully decorated palace existed for more than 100 years. There are 18 swimming pools filled with mineral-rich natural hot springs and ten saunas and steam rooms.

The energy in the air was happy and relaxing. In one pool, there are even chessboards for visitors to play chess while relaxing in the water.

Zander experienced the spa baths as a highlight, and it was a relaxing way for us to conclude our Budapest visit.

regards

Emsia

The layer of fog that clouds my mind

The layer of fog that clouds my mind

During November, Zurich is almost permanently shrouded in a fog layer. When we open the curtains in the morning, it looks like a white wall on the outside. Sometimes the fog stays all day. On other days, the dark silhouettes of buildings and trees become more visible as the sun rises.

The Swiss warned us about the fog from the beginning. The fog layer has a depressing impact because it is dark, and you feel trapped. On weekends, many people visit their homes in the mountains to enjoy the sunlight and temporarily escape the fog.

My Eglisau message

The autumn colours in Switzerland are exceptional this year. I was excited about a sunny day because I wanted to take pictures in the village of Eglisau with its beautiful vineyards along the Rhein River. My disappointment was huge when the whole town was shrouded in fog. I decided to stay in the hope that the haze would clear.

After a while, I realized how beautiful and mysterious everything appears in the fog and that I must appreciate things just the way they are and stop clinging to my picture. I get this message regularly but still struggle with it sometimes.

A worldwide layer of fog

Travelling to new places and cultures is one of the things Charl and I enjoy doing together. We were very excited about the opportunity to live in Switzerland for a few years because of the possibility of exploring Europe without long flights and a Schengen visa application. However, Covid has fallen around us all like a thick layer of fog.

The country’s borders were closed for a long time and reopened only recently. The Covid situation forced us to discover Switzerland. We visited many beautiful places and had experiences we would have missed if Europe had been open. Worldwide, the restrictions forced people to look with new eyes at the beauty of their own country and environment. In the process, many people discovered gems that they had previously overlooked.

In the fog, I saw my own family more clearly

Christmas time is synonymous with family time. Christmas markets and celebrations provide great excitement. Last year there was only one big silence. Due to all the strict rules, we spent the Christmas holidays inside our apartment. We ordered creative projects online and kept ourselves busy. All three of us later admitted that it was a precious and peaceful time and that we enjoyed each other’s company.

From the beginning, we planned to visit South Africa and my sons Switzerland once a year. After their first visit in December 2019, we could not see each other again. It was an exceptionally dense fog to me. The distance and situation encouraged us to connect more often and engage deeper. I consequently got to know my sons differently. I write more about this in my letter with the title words have become my lifeline.

The fog teaches me to enjoy the now.

The fog has become a metaphor for me and reminds me to enjoy the present situation. I must stop clinging so tightly to my picture of “perfect” that I overlook the beauty around me.

In the fog, our usual familiar environment appears mysterious. The fog dims the background and makes the most critical items stand out. It helps us focus on the elements that are indeed visible. The fog layer is not permanent. It will clear up, and the sun will shine again.

Regards

Emsia

Friends who ease the motherhood turbulence

Friends who ease the motherhood turbulence

Many of my friends’ youngest children write their final school exams. November is a stressful month, and soon they will have to adjust to an empty home. They experience the conclusion of a meaningful chapter in their life book.

God handpick our friends

Every mother looks back and thinks with a smile about the turbulence of motherhood. I know I would never have survived without the input and help of friends. I believe that God handpicked these friends for me.  There is no coincidence in the selection or timing of people crossing our path. I wrote more about it in synchronicity is never accidental.

Friends see your need and help without you asking. They encourage and give honest opinions. They challenge you to try new things or to see situations in new ways. Sometimes they can spot or create humour when you are on the verge of despair.

Little boys

Jackie and I crossed paths when our boys were little. She ended up in Cape Town after her husband’s heart transplant. It was at the same time that I was going through a divorce. Despite her challenges, she was always ready to help. Many times, she took my boys home with her after school. It allowed me to finish my work and then enjoy a glass of wine on her porch as we watched the sunset view of Table Mountain. Sometimes she also spoiled us with delicious, cooked food.

She was happy for me when Charl showed up in my life. I found love again, but shortly before our wedding, her husband died. With a lot of raw emotion and loss, she bravely attended our wedding. It was our turn to help and support where we could.

Fortunately, she found love again. We both understood the challenges of raising teenage boys with the help of a father who is not their own. Our boys are young men now, but we are grateful for the role we were able to play in each other’s lives.

Young men

In Christo’s final year of school, he fell in love. Just before we moved to Zurich, his girlfriend’s mother, Ronel and I went for a cup of coffee to get to know each other. We enjoyed each other’s company, and we could not stop talking. Little did I know what critical role Ronel would play in my life.

I did not know there was a pandemic on the way and that Ronel’s house would become my child’s home for almost 18 months. She dropped him off at the residence and regularly spoiled him with treats. Nothing was too much trouble for her, and she kept me up to date with pictures and messages. She understood the situation well since her parents also relocated to work abroad after she finished school, while she stayed behind in South Africa for her studies.

Our children’s relationship, unfortunately, did not survive Covid-19, but Ronel and I decided that our friendship would continue. After our one-time meeting, our connection grew through calls, messages, and letters. With her love of travel, we hope she can visit me in Switzerland.

My sister, my friend

I am very blessed that one of my friends is also my sister. We are four years apart, and I did not put her in the friendship category for the first twenty years. In my teens, she and her friends sometimes drove me crazy. One afternoon, they hid in a big tree next to the school’s rugby field and howled like foxes while the rugby team practised. It was a significant embarrassment because I was in love with one of those players.

I never thought she would be my 911 if I needed advice and perspective as a mom. We have approached our teenage years very differently, and her perspective on certain situations is valuable. There were times when I called her in the morning with a heavy heart on the way to work. However, I arrived at work much lighter with perspective and motivation. She also has a great sense of humour, and her laughter therapy always works.

Friends are gifts from God, each wrapped in their unique packaging. They walk the path of life with us, providing support, encouragement, perspective and acts of love and caring.
Thank you to everyone who walks the path with me and is there for me.

Regards

Emsia