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Author: emsia.kruger

Saying goodbye to friends is tough

Saying goodbye to friends is tough

Zander is looking forward to the Swiss experience, but the thought of saying farewell to his friends saddens him. Many of them have a special place in his and my heart.

Abby

His special girlfriend is Abby. She has a smile in her mischievous blue eyes. Like Zander, she has two big brothers. She, therefore, understands video games, teen music, language, and behaviour. At age four, they started with Grade 0 together at Welgemoed Pre-Primary.

When we arrived at the new school, everything was unfamiliar, and I could see tears welling up in his eyes. Abby appeared like an angel, took Zander’s hand, and asked if he wanted to play with her. Their friendship began at a fragile moment for both of us. They have moved from the sandpit to video games and ice skating, but Abby remains his special girlfriend.

Abby and Zander

George

You can consider yourself extremely lucky if you have a neighbour like George. They are the same age, in the same class and play together in the same rugby team. They socialise almost daily, except for exam times, during which Aletta and I both hope and pray we cannot hear each other. Together their creativity has no end.

One Saturday morning, they threw burning fireworks into the toilet, which blew away part of the bowl. At George’s house, Zander learns about building structures, barbecuing, and sisters. The birth of Roxy’s most precious little puppies was a highlight. At our house, George gets informed about bigger brother-related things and technology.

George and Zander

Leaving highlights the preciousness of friendships

Leaving your country makes you think about the preciousness of all the special friendships and relationships in your life. The quality of our relationships has a significant impact on our emotional well-being. I cherish moments where I felt a connection between souls and someone who understood my heart. The enjoyment of togetherness lightens our burdens in challenging times.

We are planning a farewell party so that Zander and his friends can have a great time in our garden for the last time. I will say goodbye to my friends individually over a coffee or wine. The most challenging farewell is when Zander and I visit my family in the Kalahari and Jacques in Potchefstroom before we board the plane to Switzerland.

Last glass of wine looking over Table Mountain

New friendships

Friendships and relationships are something I am concerned about when we leave. On the one hand, I need to find creative ways to maintain my current precious relationships. On the other hand, I need to establish new friendships with people with different backgrounds than mine. As an introvert, it is easier said than done. Charl will hopefully meet friends in his work situation and Zander at school. However, I will have to force myself to be part of opportunities where I can meet other people.

Zander and friends

I understand the Swiss people are private. German is, of course, still a high hurdle that I will have to jump over before I can consider Swiss friends. I will initially have to reach out to other parents at Zander’s new school. We are, after all, in the same boat.

Kind regards

Emsia

We need to get rid of all the stuff!

We need to get rid of all the stuff!

We tend to gather a lot of stuff over a lifetime. These items disappear conveniently behind closed doors, and we forget about them. Like a deferred appointment, our belongings are waiting for us. However, a move to Switzerland that forced us to simplify, arrived sooner than we thought or hoped.

Jacques and Christo help with the heavy items

Entrepreneurial skills came in handy

Jacques utilised his entrepreneurial skills for the large items. He advertised the items online and handled his potential customers in a very professional and convincing way. When unsure how to operate the electrical appliances, he used his research and technical skills to figure it out.

I still smile when I think about the sale of a coffee machine, which Jacques could not get to operate in time. Jacques played open cards with the potential buyer about his predicament. Fortunately, the buyer was patient, and he and Jacques sat cross-legged on the floor and figured it out together. Smiling faces and a high-five half an hour later were my sign they had an operating coffee machine. The buyer walked away with a discount and a pack of coffee beans for his patience.

We met amazing people in the process

The most amazing people showed up. They shared personal stories about why they were looking for a specific item. The middle-aged man who bought the rowboat wanted it for his first holiday with his new wife and her boys. We understood. The friendly man who bought the bicycle planned to start exercising with his wife. Our discount was our form of support for this significant cause.

Charl is preparing for the second-hand sales market

Second-hand sales market

We entered the second-hand sales market for smaller items. We arrived, prepared with a bottle of coffee and a packet of rusks at the flea market at seven on a Saturday morning. Some of the people negotiated seriously because every cent matters. Others returned a second time and told us how they or their children enjoyed the items they bought the first time. It was an enriching and unforgettable experience.

Zander assists with the sales

It is hard to let go of items with emotional value

Some items were harder to sell because of the emotional value and the stories I carry in my heart. An example of this was Christo’s blue case with a set of plastic trains and red tracks that he loved. When a three-year-old boy came to sit next to me and started playing with the trains, I was ready to let it go.

New grandparents bought the Christmas tree with all the lights and decorations for their new grandchild’s first Christmas. Many grandparents bought Lego sets and puzzles for their grandchildren as Christmas gifts. They hoped the new generation would exchange their screens for proper toys.

Enjoying supper while surrounded by items for sale

The process was a good start in our mission to simplify our lives. In future, we only want to buy something when we need it. If we do not use an item, we should give it away. We want to focus on experiences rather than possessions.

The following statements express it well: 

“We achieve perfection, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away” and “The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so the necessary may speak ”.

Kind regards

Emsia

Big, difficult decisions in life

Big, difficult decisions in life

30 October 2018

Big, difficult decisions often cross your life path unexpectedly. They cause a change in direction. Their impact on you is significant, but also on people close to you. The big, difficult decisions cause nights of lying awake in bed and hours of listing and analysing the pros and cons. The decision is ultimately made based on a knowing deep inside you. The words of this knowing are limited, which makes it challenging to explain the decision.

Charl, thinking

Such a big and difficult decision has now come our way. An opportunity presented itself for Charl to work in Switzerland for a few years. The impact of this is significant.

The impact on my sons

The biggest is for sure on Jacques and Christo. Jacques has at least found his feet as a student at North-West University, but Christo must complete his final school year and then commence with his student years at Stellenbosch University. My sons are independent young men, but my mother-heart is bleeding for them.

The impact on my family

The impact on my mother and sister, Ansa, is also huge. With them living in the Kalahari and us in the Western Cape, distance is no longer a stranger. Our annual get-togethers, sometimes in the Cape and sometimes in the Kalahari, are my yearly highlight. That is the week we forget about our responsibilities, have fun, talk non-stop, laugh, and drink ginger tea in the garden. That week Ansa’s farm children learn more about city life, or my city children learn about farm life, depending on where we visit.

Cell phone technology enables us to stay in contact. We plan to stick to our rhythm of hanging out in South Africa once a year, and hopefully, they can visit us once in Switzerland. Our move creates an excellent opportunity for Ansa’s children to have an international flight and a European experience.

Spending time on the farm in the Kalahari

Opportunity

Charl is very excited about the work opportunity. Zander is sad saying goodbye to his friends and rugby. I am concerned about his adaptability as an Afrikaans boy in an international school. However, I know that children are much more adaptable than we think. Charl will start working in Zurich early in the new year, but Zander and I will join him much later so that I to be with Christo for most of his final school year.

It saddens me to leave my family and wonderful friends behind. We have built precious friendships over the past twenty years around the sports field and after church on Sundays. How do I say farewell to our home and its lovely garden where my children grew up?

October is the most beautiful month

My dad always said: “October is the most beautiful month of all!”. At first, I thought it was because of Spring, but I understand better now. It was the thirteenth-check month at work. October also turned out to be a red-letter month for me. On a late Thursday afternoon in October, my life journey began. The Swiss opportunity came knocking on our door in October, and next October, I will most likely be celebrating my fiftieth birthday in Switzerland.

It is a difficult decision, but we must seize the opportunity. I am sorry about the impact on the people I love. They do not even have a choice in the matter. We do not know how it will turn out, but we know that such an experience will contribute to our personal growth and perspective on a changing world.

Decisions

Writing helps me process change

The best way for me to process change is to write about it. I realised this twenty-five years ago when we worked in London for two years, and it was my only affordable way to stay in touch with my family and friends. In those years, we used ordinary letters in an envelope with a postage stamp. We could still rely on the South African postal service.

I promise to be in contact and share more about our inner and outer journeys.

Kind regards

Emsia