Letters Home

Anticipation is a familiar feeling that often visits us. Waiting for something exciting, like a holiday, a visit from someone, or a celebration, makes me tingle with delight. I find the anticipation sometimes as fun as the event itself!

Anticipation for a travel experience with my mom

A memorable moment of anticipation was when we took my mom to see the tulips at Keukenhof in Amsterdam in 2016. It was her first time travelling overseas, and the excitement was palpable.

During our trip, my sister, Ansa, stayed at our home in Cape Town to look after the children. The nieces and nephews enjoyed two weeks of fun and togetherness while we were away. They were excited about our return and greeted us warmly and enthusiastically. The exchange of stories and experiences we shared upon returning was just as enjoyable as the trip.

For me, the most enjoyable part of anticipating a positive experience is the planning and preparation. I can spend hours researching, making lists, and organizing everything. As the day of the experience approaches, both my excitement and anxiety grow. Three months before our journey, my mother travelled 1,000 kilometres by bus to visit us so we could assist her with her visa application. We considered this part of the shared adventure.

It was all worth it, and we often during our regular calls reminisce about the beautiful, colourful moments we experienced.

The anticipation for the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris

We visited Paris in May this year, and the construction and scaffolding throughout the city indicated preparations for the Olympic Games. We could feel the anticipation building for this significant event. At that time, Paris was in the final phase of preparations for the 2024 Olympic Games. A countdown board displayed how many days remained, much like an advent calendar leading up to Christmas.

As a tourist, I shared the excitement with others about this grand event, which involved 10,500 participants and organisers who had worked incredibly hard. I felt compassion for the organisers and project managers, imagining the immense pressure they faced under the world’s watchful eyes to complete everything on time.

Paris hosted the Olympic Games twice before. The 1900 Olympics were significant as they were the first held outside Greece and marked the first participation of women. The 1924 Olympics in Paris saw a notable increase in the size and scope of the Games, with standardised rules and extensive media coverage worldwide.

The 2024 Olympic Games were a tremendous success. People remember it for many reasons. It was the first to achieve gender equality in participation. An equal number of female and male athletes participated in the world’s largest sporting event. I believe the organisers look back on their hard work with great satisfaction.

We anticipate a visit from the Kalahari

This year brings great excitement for my sister Ansa’s children. We agreed the time had arrived for Marga, a second-year student, and Altus, a tenth-grader, to visit us in Switzerland in December.

A significant amount of preparation and uncertainty is associated with this visit. Marga and Altus had to obtain passports as a first step. South Africa has many immigration requirements regarding the travel of minor children, such as Altus. The Van Zyl family had to drive 700 kilometres to Pretoria for the Schengen visa application, bringing a thick pack of forms and certified copies of critical documentation. Their appointment was early morning, which required them to overnight in Pretoria. They will repeat this journey to Johannesburg’s OR Tambo International Airport on December 9 for their Emirates flight.

There are many firsts associated with this visit for them. This visit will be their first flight experience, their first time outside the borders of South Africa, their first winter Christmas, and hopefully, their first snow experience. Additionally, they live in the Kalahari, where summer temperatures can easily exceed 40 degrees Celsius, and the winter is short. The frigid European winter weather and long cold days in a country where people speak a foreign language will undoubtedly be a new experience for them.

Meanwhile, we here in Switzerland are bubbling over with excitement. We regularly discuss everything we want to show them and the experiences we wish to share. The anticipation is immense, and we count the days until their arrival.

Anticipation poem

The beautiful poem by Patience Strong entitled Anticipation describes it so well.

Kind regards

Emsia

I believe our Creator designed the human experience to be shared and witnessed. We need others to be witnesses of our lives, just as we need to be witnesses of theirs. This mutual exchange is essential to the human experience.

“Shall We Dance” is a movie I first watched years ago during the midst of my divorce. It gave me so much to reflect on that I watched it several more times. (I admit that Richard Gere and his tango with Jennifer Lopez had something to do with that too.) In the film, a couple was going through a rough patch in their marriage. A character in the story curiously asked the wife what made her want to stay in the marriage. Her response helped me make sense of my feelings of loss.

We need a witness to our lives. There are 8 billion people on the planet … I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything — the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things … all of it, all the time, every day. You’re saying, ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.

We are all witnesses to other people’s lives

Being a witness to another person’s life is a significant responsibility. It means sharing in their love and joy, as well as their vulnerabilities and challenges. We gain insight, wisdom, and lessons from others’ experiences.

There are so many times we act as witnesses—sometimes with loved ones and other times through brief interactions in daily life. We witness lives through books, blogs, social media posts, and photos. We take on this role far more often than we realise.

Sometimes, being a witness is challenging

It’s not always easy to fulfil this role. We often compare our unique experiences to those of others, and through our lens, someone else’s life may appear idyllic or perfect. But without the complete picture, this can stir feelings of inadequacy, failure, injustice, or even feeling less loved.

It’s important to remember that each person has a unique life journey and purpose. Everybody must find their path and contribution to others and humanity. I often ask myself – am I making the most of the hand of cards life has dealt me?

Witnesses in a foreign country

Moving to Switzerland brought a deep sense of loss as I left behind friends and loved ones.

I reflected on the precious witnesses who had shared different phases of my life. Staying in touch was a priority, executed through my regular letters home. I am also a witness to their lives to the extent they allow. Every response, note, or message I received felt like a burst of colour in my day. It helped me during difficult times.

I made new friends in Switzerland, many of whom are also expats. We share in each other’s experiences, recognising and empathising with the distinctive situations and obstacles we encounter. We stand together and make sure everyone feels valued and connected.

Witnesses on social media

It wasn’t until I lived in a foreign country, where I struggled to understand the language, that I began to grasp the role of witnesses on social media. It fills the need for someone, somewhere, to at least be aware of your life and what you’re doing.

My South African friend in Switzerland, Marna, captured this sentiment perfectly in a Facebook post:

Our 18-month Swiss experience is coming to an end. As an expat in a foreign country, adapting to a new language and culture often means living outside your comfort zone. Being away from the familiar and your loved ones and friends can feel overwhelming. You are vulnerable to feeling lonely, unloved, aimless, unknown, and unappreciated.

There’s a deep discomfort in realising that your life isn’t shared or seen by those close to your heart. I shared all about our amazing European and Swiss adventures on social media. YOU, my social media friends, who took the time to respond positively or comment, did so much more than you may realise. You have all been a part of my journey as witnesses, and I am thankful for that.

For me, social media became a way to cope with the challenges of expat life. I see each post as a modern-day postcard! I encourage you to share your moments and memories. Send your postcards. I want to witness your life and celebrate those special moments with you. Life is better when shared with people who make your heart happy!

In conclusion

By witnessing each other’s lives, we see the good, the bad, the powerful, and the vulnerable. Together, these experiences shape what it means to be human. When we support and cheer one another, embracing both the perfect and the imperfect, it reminds us that we are all travellers in this journey we call life.

Kind regards

Emsia

She was a wife to her husband and a mother to her three sons. Amidst the daily chores of cooking, cleaning, and laundry, her soul longed for something more. She yearned to create something beautiful and vibrant. Her journey began to take shape when she reached out to her children’s elementary school art teacher. In the afternoons after school, she and the young students started learning about painting, exploring colours, and mastering techniques together.

This newfound passion led her to pursue more advanced art lessons. Art became her escape and therapy. She shared her love for colourful creations with friends, who painted with her once a week.

Twelve women

One night, she woke up with an unshakable feeling that she had to paint the portraits of twelve remarkable women from the Bible. She followed this calling, and the project occupied her for over a year. She had to choose the perfect paintings to represent a modern-day version of each woman. A friend encouraged her to study the stories of the twelve women from the Bible. The pandemic provided her with the time to dive deep into this study. Through this journey, she came to know these women as ordinary people who became extraordinary as part of God’s plan.

Women who inspire women

With this understanding, it became clear which painting represented each woman from the Bible. She combined her knowledge and artwork to create a Bible study journal about the twelve biblical women and even printed cards featuring their faces. LucahArt is the name she uses for her art. “Lucah” means “To bring Light.” She chose this name because she felt her friends had supported her and brought light to the project. She also hopes her art will bring light to others.

With ordinary to extraordinary as a theme, she and a friend decided to kick off women’s retreats at their beautiful beach house in Kleinmond. Here, many women found inspiration in the stories of these biblical figures, transforming their ordinary lives into something exceptional. These retreats have been life-changing for many women. She experienced a deep satisfaction in knowing she was fulfilling her life’s purpose.

Switzerland opportunity

An unexpected three-year work opportunity for her husband in Switzerland surprised her and left her with mixed feelings. While excited about the new experience, she couldn’t help but wonder, why now? In this new country, they faced many adjustments and had to learn many new things including language and culture.

Her husband encouraged her to bring the twelve paintings to Switzerland as well. She displayed them in her home. These paintings provided comfort and inspiration, especially during the long, cold winters when loneliness set in. She told me that her favourite woman from the series is Mary Magdalene. She felt a special connection to her, not only because of some similarities in their life stories but also because they shared the same name.

The Aucamps became involved with the Lift Church in Zug. They made wonderful friends and became part of a supportive Christian community.

International exhibition

Their church invited her to speak at a women’s evening, and I had the privilege of attending the event. The twelve paintings had a place of honour at the front of the hall, each displayed on a canvas atop an easel. Marna told me that her 22-year-old son had made the twelve easels during the pandemic as a project to keep him busy. Who could have ever imagined that they would one day support twelve biblical women in a Swiss church?

After Marna shared her own story, she recounted the stories of each of the twelve biblical women. In her presentation, she described the challenges that each woman faced. The audience had to guess who Marna was talking about. Then, she shared more about God’s plan for each woman and the impact of their actions on history. Finally, the audience broke into small groups to discuss which woman’s life story resonated with them the most.

Winds of Change

After 18 months in Switzerland, changes at her husband’s workplace required Wimpie’s knowledge and skills in South Africa for a critical project. They wrestled again with mixed feelings. One advantage is that they will be back in SA for their son’s wedding – the same son who made the easels for her paintings. Their departure is a significant loss for me. I will miss my Afrikaans friend in Switzerland dearly, as we acted as witnesses to each other’s lives here.

I find comfort in knowing that her paintings and messages will continue to touch many more women’s lives in South Africa. Her story, along with the stories of the women in the Bible, is a powerful testimony of how God can transform ordinary lives into extraordinary ones.

Kind regards

Emsia

As we drove through the gates along the familiar path, stopping in front of the big white house, I knew it would be my last visit. After my family picked me up at Upington Airport, we visited a beautiful retirement village, Belle Rio, along the banks of the Orange River. It is close to Kanoneiland, where my mom grew up.

I was looking forward to spending a few days alone with my mom. It also created an opportunity to discuss the plans for her next chapter with her. Once my sister and her family left for their farm, my mother looked at me seriously and said, “I don’t want to talk about this.“

Kathu

We moved to Kathu the year before I started school. The mine developed this new town, and everyone moved into new mine houses. As the new town developed, some people who did not work for the mine started to build private houses among the mine houses. One of the new private houses near our mine house had a modern architectural design and a beautiful camel thorn tree in the yard. My mom loved this house, and we often went to see how the construction was progressing.

Our own home

Years later, a “For Sale” sign appeared in front of the white house with blue gutters. My parents often had long and serious conversations after that; it was time for them to become homeowners. Shortly before my eleventh birthday, we moved to the new house, carrying everything across the street. For the first time, my sister and I each had our rooms. The swing my father built when we were toddlers also moved with us.

My dad, always a project man, turned this new house into his playground. He built new structures and arranged everything around the house practically and efficiently. He carefully laid out the garden for my mom, whose passion was gardening. People often referred to our home as the house with the beautiful garden. Every Friday after work, my dad would mow the lawn. I sometimes surprised him on Fridays by mowing the lawn before he returned home after work. The smell of freshly cut grass still takes me back to my childhood.

A garden full of cosmos flowers

I always dreamed of a wedding hall filled with cosmos flowers. My parents helped make this dream come true by planting the entire garden with cosmos flowers months before my wedding. My dad tended the garden, transforming the place into a pink and purple paradise.

I offered to mow the lawn the Friday before my wedding, but my dad declined. I felt slightly hurt when he sincerely explained, “Thank you, my love, but I want it done properly.”

We lost my dad at an early age

I lost my father to a heart attack shortly after my thirtieth birthday. He was only 57 years old and still busy building an awning for shade. We tried to find peace in the fact that he passed away doing what he loved.

My mom was the same age as I am now, and his death changed her whole life. She bravely took on all the responsibilities of maintaining the big house and garden. She decorated the home with the most beautiful paintings to help her see beauty in her pain.

As she grew older, managing everything became more difficult. We are grateful to everyone around her who is still compassionately willing to help with maintenance and repairs.

Our mom will celebrate her 80th next year

As my mom’s energy diminishes with age, maintaining the house and garden has become more challenging for her. Most of her friends have passed away in recent years, which has been a significant loss. She has always been loving and deeply involved in the school, community, and church.

We are concerned about her well-being and safety in Kathu, which has expanded due to the mining operations. As her children, we believe it is time for my mom to begin her next chapter. We envision her thriving in a community with pleasant peers, engaging activities, and fewer responsibilities.

Decisions about the last chapter

She needs time to close this chapter and say goodbye to the big white house, cherishing her memories in peace. While we can assist with many things, this is a task she must do on her own, just as she had to learn to live without my father.

Since we haven’t been in her shoes, we’ll give her the time and space to find her answer. My sister and I agreed to honour our mother’s request not to discuss the retirement village. We trust she will know when she is ready for the next chapter.

Kind regards

Emsia