I believe our Creator designed the human experience to be shared and witnessed. We need others to be witnesses of our lives, just as we need to be witnesses of theirs. This mutual exchange is essential to the human experience.

“Shall We Dance” is a movie I first watched years ago during the midst of my divorce. It gave me so much to reflect on that I watched it several more times. (I admit that Richard Gere and his tango with Jennifer Lopez had something to do with that too.) In the film, a couple was going through a rough patch in their marriage. A character in the story curiously asked the wife what made her want to stay in the marriage. Her response helped me make sense of my feelings of loss.

We need a witness to our lives. There are 8 billion people on the planet … I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything — the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things … all of it, all the time, every day. You’re saying, ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.

We are all witnesses to other people’s lives

Being a witness to another person’s life is a significant responsibility. It means sharing in their love and joy, as well as their vulnerabilities and challenges. We gain insight, wisdom, and lessons from others’ experiences.

There are so many times we act as witnesses—sometimes with loved ones and other times through brief interactions in daily life. We witness lives through books, blogs, social media posts, and photos. We take on this role far more often than we realise.

Sometimes, being a witness is challenging

It’s not always easy to fulfil this role. We often compare our unique experiences to those of others, and through our lens, someone else’s life may appear idyllic or perfect. But without the complete picture, this can stir feelings of inadequacy, failure, injustice, or even feeling less loved.

It’s important to remember that each person has a unique life journey and purpose. Everybody must find their path and contribution to others and humanity. I often ask myself – am I making the most of the hand of cards life has dealt me?

Witnesses in a foreign country

Moving to Switzerland brought a deep sense of loss as I left behind friends and loved ones.

I reflected on the precious witnesses who had shared different phases of my life. Staying in touch was a priority, executed through my regular letters home. I am also a witness to their lives to the extent they allow. Every response, note, or message I received felt like a burst of colour in my day. It helped me during difficult times.

I made new friends in Switzerland, many of whom are also expats. We share in each other’s experiences, recognising and empathising with the distinctive situations and obstacles we encounter. We stand together and make sure everyone feels valued and connected.

Witnesses on social media

It wasn’t until I lived in a foreign country, where I struggled to understand the language, that I began to grasp the role of witnesses on social media. It fills the need for someone, somewhere, to at least be aware of your life and what you’re doing.

My South African friend in Switzerland, Marna, captured this sentiment perfectly in a Facebook post:

Our 18-month Swiss experience is coming to an end. As an expat in a foreign country, adapting to a new language and culture often means living outside your comfort zone. Being away from the familiar and your loved ones and friends can feel overwhelming. You are vulnerable to feeling lonely, unloved, aimless, unknown, and unappreciated.

There’s a deep discomfort in realising that your life isn’t shared or seen by those close to your heart. I shared all about our amazing European and Swiss adventures on social media. YOU, my social media friends, who took the time to respond positively or comment, did so much more than you may realise. You have all been a part of my journey as witnesses, and I am thankful for that.

For me, social media became a way to cope with the challenges of expat life. I see each post as a modern-day postcard! I encourage you to share your moments and memories. Send your postcards. I want to witness your life and celebrate those special moments with you. Life is better when shared with people who make your heart happy!

In conclusion

By witnessing each other’s lives, we see the good, the bad, the powerful, and the vulnerable. Together, these experiences shape what it means to be human. When we support and cheer one another, embracing both the perfect and the imperfect, it reminds us that we are all travellers in this journey we call life.

Kind regards

Emsia