My sister recently turned 50. I considered a suitable gift to celebrate this milestone birthday carefully. My only objective was to reaffirm my love and appreciation for her.

I finally decided against a gift wrapped in paper. I wanted to share my time and listen with genuine interest as Ansa shared more about her joys and sorrows. Each with a cup of coffee at different sides of the world, we enjoyed precious bonding time and had a good laugh.

These days, I see gifts in a very different light. Any time or effort from someone to make a situation easier or make me feel better is a gift. However, it should positively affect both the receiver and the giver. Any effort driven by obligation qualifies as a task, not a gift. Presents, gifted with love from the heart, can take many forms.

Make time for someone

My love language is quality time. If you make time with or for me, I appreciate it infinitely. Every visit, conversation or message is a precious gift because someone has shared time with me.

I have a standing appointment to talk to my mother on the phone every Monday. After the first ring, she answers, always friendly and happy to hear my voice. The fact that I can still talk to her is my gift, but she always expresses her appreciation for my time and interest. The conversation is valuable for both of us.

I have an arrangement with one of my friends to celebrate each other’s birthdays through an online video chat in the month of our birthday. I always conclude the conversation with new inspiration and a song in my heart. No physical gift can come close to that.

Share more honestly about yourself.

I like the Swedish expression, “Shared joy is double joy; Shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” The premise is simple. Our Creator created us as humans, to be empathetic.

Joy

When we hear stories of joy, happiness, and achievement, it impacts us positively. We should encourage people to share their positive experiences and help in this way to spread joy.

Challenges and Sorrows

People are generally reluctant to share more about the challenges and sorrows in their lives. We all fear judgment, insensitivity, and rejection. Yet, I learn so much from other people’s stories. The perseverance in the stories gives me new inspiration and different perspectives.

I have a friend whose son has cancer. She is a very private individual but has created a WhatsApp group for family and friends in which she shares more about how he and they are doing. The situation is too much for a mom and dad to bear alone. Her honest sharing about an emotional situation allows many people to carry them in their hearts and pray for them. In addition, we all learn and understand much more about the cancer experience.

A friend who struggled with depression taught me more about this black dog and broadened my understanding and perspective regarding this illness. It helped me when we had to support a family member with depression.

Life throws different challenges our way. By sharing our stories, we create awareness and opportunities for others to support us in different ways.

Acknowledge each other

People share their joys, feelings, and sorrows in different ways. Some people have friends and family who live close by and are willing to listen. It makes it easier to share joys and sorrows with them. When someone listens, you and your pain feel acknowledged.

In many cases, people live alone or far from family and friends. They share joys and sorrows through electronic messages or posts on social media. When someone reacts, they feel acknowledged. However, when people do not respond, the situation makes them feel even more alone.

Listen to someone with your heart

When you share more about yourself, and someone listens attentively and with interest, it has a positive impact. You feel heard and valued. If I’m upset and someone listens to me without interruption, it helps me to release emotionally and gain a better perspective on my situation. It also builds trust and makes me feel like I matter. Even just attentively listening to someone can be a valuable gift.

When opportunities arise to give gifts, we must remember the goal we want to achieve with them. Not all presents need to be physical items wrapped in paper. It is when we give of our time or ourselves together with love from our hearts that it has an impact.

Regards

Emsia