Letters Home

This year, our mother, Lenie, is celebrating her 80th birthday. In recent years, many of our school friends have lost their parents. As children, we often visited one another’s homes, shared meals, and had sleepovers. Our families became deeply intertwined, and the passing of these parents has had a profound impact on us. At the same time, my mother has felt the loss of long-standing friendships, as fewer people visit or call regularly to check in on her.

We wanted to use her birthday to thank her for her invaluable role in our lives and remind her of her contributions and positive impact on others and the community. To accomplish this, we asked school friends and family to share anecdotes and stories that reflected her influence. Stories have power.

These stories and memories made us smile for many different reasons. They were as meaningful to my sister and me as to our mother. They also revealed several life lessons and truths I would like to share.

Over a lifetime, we evolve through many different versions of ourselves

The contributions we received came from people who knew my mother at various stages of her life. Each story reflected a version of her at a specific point in time. Over the years, we all go through many different versions of ourselves.

As children, we witness only a few versions of our parents, while they, in turn, see every version of us. Each version significantly shapes our life journey and contributes to the person we are today.

We should approach the younger versions of ourselves with reverence and respect. Those earlier selves faced challenges and celebrated triumphs that became the foundation of our growth. Through those experiences, we found strength, healed, and learned to thrive.

The timeless joys that weave like a golden thread through our lives

Friendships, gardening, music, and sewing are the joys that run like a golden thread through the anecdotes and stories about my mother. These simple pleasures transcend time and place, always available to her no matter where her future path may lead.

It reminded me once again how vital it is to invest time in the things that bring us joy. One day, the future versions of ourselves will look back with gratitude for the happiness we cultivated along the way.

The impact we have on others

My mother had a way of making our friends feel welcome in our home. She took a genuine interest in their lives, sharing their joys and sorrows with laughter and tears. Sometimes, she even pitched in with last-minute oral presentations or unfinished knitting projects. Her love of baking was legendary—her tarts, koeksisters, and rusks were unforgettable.

Some of our school friends shared heartfelt words about the impact of her care, compassion, and listening ear on their lives. It moved me deeply. It reminded me that people always remember how we made them feel, even if we are unaware of the lasting impression we leave. Our patience, love, and kindness form part of the legacy we leave behind.

The unique gifts we bring to the world

Each of us is born with something special—a gift that is uniquely ours. It might be a talent, a quirk, or a distinct way of seeing the world. My mother’s gift is her beautiful singing voice, which she shared in the church choir, the town revue group, and even at weddings.

A few more of her gifts became evident through the stories and memories others shared. Her gift is seeing the positive in every situation. I will always think of her radiant smile and the dimples on her cheeks. She had a way of helping everyone around her find a splash of colour in life’s grey moments. With endless patience, she listened to people’s stories and gave them the comfort of being heard.

Everyone possesses unique gifts and talents. We must use them to make the world better and brighter.

The echo of words in our lives

My mother had a few sayings that resurface in my mind during life’s moments. One that often comes to me is, “Just wait until you’re a mother yourself one day, then you’ll understand.” She usually said this while standing at my bedroom window, anxiously watching the street, waiting for my sister to come home. In my teenage wisdom, I’d advise her to stop worrying and go to sleep. Now, as a parent myself, I often hear her words echo when I find myself worrying about my children.

Another saying of hers was, “Keep the crown on your husband’s head.” She lived this advice beautifully, showing her love for my father through her unwavering support and encouragement. After my first marriage ended, I changed the wording of her wisdom to: “Keep the crown on the father of your children’s head.” Even years later, I am grateful for my mother’s voice echoing in my mind, guiding me to act with love, respect, and understanding.

Living a legacy of kindness

Hearing positive words about our impact on others, especially on a milestone like an 80th birthday, is truly heartwarming. It reminds us to reflect on our own lives from this perspective. Living fully aware that our daily actions touch others, can inspire us to live more fearlessly.

It is not the significant accomplishments that leave the most profound impact. What truly matters is how we made people feel—how we were present for them, offering a listening ear or a word of loving encouragement when they needed it most. That is the legacy that endures.

Regards

Emsia